2 things

1) having pink flowy pompoms hanging off the handlebars of your bicycle does not make you a girl. i know many men who sport those just for jest.

2) is there a reason you put on the giant fireworks show in my neighborhood at 10:30pm? i thought the 4ht of july was a couple months ago.

the bbq

my single, career driven, adult female life can definitely get lonely and i imagine (as much as it pains me to say it) that there will come a day (probably in the nearer than i wish future) where i will have to make some decisions determining which of those adjectives is most important to me in my description. (either that or we can all hope that my saturn has not yet returned and that everything will sort itself out. either way...)

the point is, i rarely have complete moments when i absolutely abhor being single. sure i miss having that one person to talk to at night or do anything with or someone who knows me better than anyone else, but i also enjoy being the only person i answer to, having no interruptions to my saturday morning routine, not having to run decorating or money things by anyone else, etc., etc. that is, unless the dreaded office related bbq comes into play.

i was just invited to the obligatory labor day weekend work bbq and while i adore the people (individually) who will be there, it's literally my single girl kryptonite. i will be, with out a doubt, the only person who does not have a partner and/or children or both at this function. and the worst part about it? i no longer live in seattle, so i don't even have the guy friends who will attend these things as my date.

it's four days away and already i'm dreading it. looks like i have four days to find someone, anyone who will be a suitable psuedo so i can show up as anything but alone.

some days singledom is quite difficult...

another one bites the dust

i think i just broke up with someone. i mean, in the end, i don't think i was even seeing him (if i ever was).

at one point i said something to the effect of "i want you in my life, but if you don't feel the same way i hope you have the courage and the courtesy to tell me so." shortly thereafter he stopped taking/ returning my calls so although courage and courtesy were lacking i think the message was clear.

regardless, i would've hoped for an amicable ending (i like things to be neat and tidy in that way) and had merely left a few messages trying to arrange to retrieve some items that had been left behind. finally, i just really needed to be done and left a very directive message with options. i came home last night to my things under my doormat, no note, no nothing, the end. things on my deck were askew leading me to believe that he must've wondered a little bit, but not enough to actually check on me. i texted him to say thanks for dropping my things by (i'm nice that way) and promptly nexted him. as i said, i guess i just broke up with someone.

in other news, i've been informed by TX Mama that i'm not the oldest single person (good news, i suppose) but that i need someone to pre-screen future dates. whatever happened to the right person will come along?

at any rate, another one has officially bitten the dust.

communication via blog? on hold

i don't write on this thing anymore (not because i don't want to, i just don't). i have no less than four different posts started, but i just don't know where to go with them, how transparent i truly want to be so they sit in various stages of done.

i've been gone for most of july and part of august - visiting friends, ending and beginning relationships, enjoying the summer, working and the like. i'm here now; for the forseeable future (if by future you mean october).

promotions and deep cleaning and airing out my life. crushes and break-ups, laughter and tears, plus i've been trying to wrap up the very personal crisis that i've been working through since may. looks like september's on target to be a good month - it's about time.

so i'm here and this blog will be here and there's much more posting to come...i just have to decide what you all should know.