i had a dream...

last night.

that i was looking out my skylight (btw - i don't really have a skylight) and it was open and suddenly cans of soda started falling from the sky. i was so excited when they first started coming in through the skylight b/c i knew they were coming from airplanes in the sky and i'd never before caught a "falling airplane soda". they came through my windows in all flavors (but all Coke products). i was surprised that so many were falling b/c usually (apparently) only one or two of these fall out of planes at a time.

sometime after gathering numerous sodas it dawned on me that all of the sodas were falling b/c something was terribly wrong with the plane and almost moments later hundreds of passengers (all alive) came falling from the sky wearing parachutes.

bizarre for sure.

i woke up this morning wondering what this stood for. i can tell it's a little warped reality - you know how sometimes the blue ice falls into people homes? but i wondered if i'd had the dream b/c i got some disappointing news yesterday and the sodas represented the excitement (pre-disappointment) and then the realization of what so many falling meant was symbolic of how i really felt about the news - seemingly good thing is bad since something is terribly wrong and people start falling. but what to make of all people alive and falling to the ground in droves wearing parachutes?

what does it all mean?

3 glasses of wine

3 glasses of wine apparently liberates me enough to openly cry when my ex-boy's sister says something nice to me AND allows me to gather a captive audience to retell this story as if it's the funniest thing that ever happened.

i took a quick trip to seattle over the weekend to visit my city, a few of my old friends and kick off the holidays. it was a quick trip and i managed to only almost spill my quiche on one person.

i thought i'd have something

to report today.

last night was the company holiday party and pretty much these things are always recipe for disaster. disaster probably did ensue, but it must've been after i left.

we had stormy, stormy weather in pdx last night - you probably heard about it on your news too. my family called this morning b/c they'd heard all about trees down and power outages and whatnot - i made it to the party despite the weather.

rosie stopped me from ordering a third drink (my first above and beyond the two ticket allotment) and i think that small gesture is what saved me from having a story to tell today.

instead, i left at a proper 10:30 and was in my bed at 11. no-kool aid for me at this company party.

enjoy your weekend, readers. i'll try to do something suitably ridiculous this weekend just so you'll have something to chuckle about (likely you'll just be glad that you weren't with me or didn't take me there) on monday.

xo.

last night i...

fell off the elliptical machine at the gym in what may have been one of my funniest moments this month!

i'm not exactly sure what happened other than the fact that i hopped up on that machine ready to take it by storm and somehow lost my balance and fell right off. the worst part about it was that no one acknowledged that it happened. normally, i would be happy that no one acknowledged my embarrassing moment b/c that would mean no one would have seen it, but there is no way that this went unnoticed! when i was laughing out loud about the whole thing, it would've been wholly appropriate for someone to laugh with me.

in the end everything was fine and i was forced to work out with extra vigor to compensate for my embarrassment so i guess that's good.

it's way better than my freak gym accident of 2005 when i somehow dropped my iPod shuffle and it hit my foot only to get lost in the treadmill forever (seriously they took the treadmill apart and never found that sucker).

officially, reason 34958 why you can't take me anywhere.

bathroom pet peeves: part 3

when i posted about bathroom pet peeves (here and here), i seriously had no idea that this would become the most common thread on my entire blog - seriously who am i?

but ladies, today you brought this to my attention:

i understand the need for the little paper toilet seat covers, in fact, i quite like them. i like how when i use them i don't feel like my butt is sharing a space with every other female butt in my office/ public space. somehow, that makes me feel a little bit cleaner in the public restroom.

but ladies, after you finish using the paper toilet seat cover, please make sure it flushes down the toilet when you flush. because seriously, when i open the stall door and see the used paper toilet seat cover with your butt print on it, that actually grosses me out more than if i'd just had to sit on the seat without the cover at all. (at least then there wouldn't be hard evidence that your ass had been there.)

thankyouverymuch.

we kind of knew this was coming...

by we, i mean you and me, readers...i've actually been holding off posting this week because i had a feeling...

last night i went to have dinner with some people i'd never met before (not a single one of them); the most i'd done was emailed with one to find out the date/time of our dinner.

confession: i answered a craigslist ad about an upscale dinner group. i belonged to one in seattle (not from craigslist) and it was a favorite activity - i'd really been missing it since the great pdx migration.

i almost didn't go. honestly, because i didn't know one thing about these people except that a few of them were friends - they could've been 15 or 50, any sort of political, religious or other type of affiliation and because i always, always have to psych myself up when i go to meet new people - it had been a long day.

i arrived at le pigeon just a few minutes late and was met by a table full of very charming people of varying ages (a nice mix for sure). there were only two new people and for some reason the people thought my profession was very interesting so they were asking me a lot of questions, but then...then something happened and i just couldn't shut up and i was talking and talking and talking and well, some of you might know that i like to talk but i usually try to shield people from my detailed stories and endless babble until they've met me a few times.

at one point one of the women asked me why i joined or something and i honestly started my reply with "well, i really like to talk..." meanwhile in my head i'm thinking shut up, shut up shut up, stop being that girl.

in the end i couldn't help myself and pretty much chatted non-stop for the entire meal - we'll see if they ever invite me back.

but, c'mon me? in that situation? i think we kind of knew this might happen...

PS - if you are ever in pdx, totally go to le pigeon but bring a friend and sit at the bar. i'd say it's a must...

i think santa might have the flu

seriously, because that's about the only explanation for why huge portions of my neighborhood now look like santa threw up on the houses.

friday night i went to grab a glass of wine with a friend and was completely caught off guard by the scene i witnessed just a few doors down from the swanky neighborhood wine bar. (please note: i've yet to capture this scene on film, but i doubt my photography skills will do it justice). wine bar's neighbors have filled every inch of their gigantic pdx porch with various different stuffed animals dressed in santa hats and other holiday garb hanging from swings. the portions of the porch not covered with swinging stuffed toys has been decorated with lights and other holiday "decorations". this house is a horrible cross between some f'd up version of moulin rouge (the one with nicole kidman) and santa's sick and twisted stuffed animal workshop. please for the sake of all of my neighbors this holiday season, take down the bears!

the other spot where santa apparently stopped to upchuck is a beautiful and giant house just two blocks from my own. last weekend their decorations were tasteful and appropriate for the size and stature of their home - this weekend, not so much. they've managed to cover every spare inch of every porch with those humongous light-up packages. it's just plain too much, but from what i know about santa from all those holiday movies, i think he likes these things. maybe these folks will get far more presents than i this year.

santa just had a teeny tiny accident in my house this weekend. i supported my local high school booster club and bought a tree from the kids. you would have loved seeing me drag it home from their lot and up the stairs to the condo. i managed to get it all set-up in it's little tree stand and decorated. along with some holiday smelling candles and a couple other holiday items in the home, that's about as sick as santa's allowed to get at my house.

welcome to december - the countdown's on!