details

signs that last night's date is probably not your match:

1. when he first mentions he lives with a roommate, your first thought is OMG! this man is 30-something and still lives w/ a roommate in a town where rentals are affordable
2. the situation continues to worsen b/c he starts talking about said roommate's cats referring to them as "creatures" he wants to kick. when you mention that you, too, have a cat he talks about how much he likes animals including cats
3. the connection is so weak that you run out of things to talk about over dinner so bring up the fact that humans carry staph bacteria under their fingernails

needless to say we won't be seeing that one again.

happy friday!

evidence that i'm still a klutz

last night, while out on a date with someone who is well aware of my history of falling and making a complete fool of my myself, i somehow managed to spill half a beer down the front of my sweater and pants. this was good beer, people! how does this happen?

thankfully, my date handled the situation very gracefully, acted like he didn't see it and mentioned that given my history he wasn't surprised that something like this had happened. he then offered to get me a napkin.

if that's not modern day chivalry, link style, then i don't know what is.

things are looking up...

focusing on the positive side of travel:

1) the hotel room i stayed in last night is bigger than my entire house and has not one, but two flat screen tvs. (my house has approximately zero)

2) getting to try restaurants and foods that my normally meager social budget could never fund.

3) leaving rainy pdx, to pull into chilly but sunny vegas on a sunday night (also knowing i'll still sleep in my own bed tonight)

4) for the first time in ages, someone besides my mom (and you few readers out there) actually cares that i'm gone and when i'm coming home.

5) my hotel room had one of those positively skinny mirrors where i looked like a size 0 instead of the slightly larger than 0 girl i am. can i get one of those installed in my house tomorrow?

hmmm, monday indeed.

why i should probably have just one

man, that is. in my life.

dear innernets,

in case you didn't know, i've been dating multiple people for awhile now. on most days, it's fun. on some days it freaks me out. i mean, what if, at some point, i actually have to make a choice about one of these people?

anywho, i've only dated more than one person (for any period of time) at one other point in my life and the outcome was disasterous mostly b/c i couldn't remember who i'd done what with and which conversation had been had with whom. in the end i chose one and if i remember correctly dated him for quite some time after that.

which brings us to now. this weekend, i went out with a man that i've seen quite a few times (in the spirit of full-disclosure, all of them know there are others) and i may have accidentally thought i had a conversation with this man that i actually had with another man a week ago. and this man, may or may not have called me on it, and i may or may not have been extremely embarrassed and completely skimmed over the whole thing only to wake up on sunday morning laughing and a little not-laughing at myself.

yes, innernets, i apparently have no game. i should probably just stick to one at a time.

thanks for reminding me.

xo, the link

what i have to choose from

recap of an incident wherein i was (once again) reminded about the selection (or lack thereof) of men available to me:

scene: last night at the gym, me stretching post work-out, dorky guy (dg) next to me working out with cute lady trainer (clt)

CLT: "DG! Get it together tonight, why are you so distracted today? Do you need me to pretend to be an episode of Star Trek to get you to pay attention to our training session?"

DG (overly excited): "OMG! Speaking of Star Trek...there's this episode called X (ed note: he actually said the name of the episode), it's episode 15 in Season 2 (ed note: i caught this part) and it's all about how you should deal with difficult situations. So yesterday, I used those techniques in talking with my boss."

CLT: .... (ed note: crickets chirping)

Me (in my head): holy sh*t, if this is what men are using to address social situations, i'm never going to find my person.


happy friday! i'll regale you with new tales another day.

a list

things that have been uttered, texted, or emailed to me in the last week by a man i'm just not that in to (spelling and grammar his, not mine):

1. "i'll be right back, i have to go potty"
2. "call me at 10 and sing me a lullaby"
3. "hey sexy girl had fun lastnight call me"
4. "Si si madamuaseille"
5. "Hope ya made it to work in the love bug, ha ha ha your car is cute too."
6. "give me a toot."
7. "You are such a hotness. "

i know, i know completely unfair for me to air it here but some of that is damn funny. anyway, i stomached it for as long as i could but now i'm going to have to break up with him. apparently, by opening the door a teeny tiny crack, this guy decide to shove it all the way open. seriously, up until a week ago this guy was nice and wrote normal emails.

snippets

• holy cow it's already december. this kind of scares me, mostly because i sort of missed november.
• it is pouring down rain in pdx right now and outside of my house an old steamer trunk appeared over the weekend. it's just sitting there, on the median, waiting for something. sometimes over the past couple days its lid has been open, sometimes closed. i'm wondering how it got there and what it's waiting for. if the rain continues, maybe it will take itself on some sort of floating trip.
• knowing someone who has lived in a yurt is going to be great fodder for one of those get to know you bingo games in the future
• my attraction to you is directly proportionate to my ability to stomach random and somewhat suggestive texts from you. i'm still deciding if you're attractive enough to pull that off. in the meantime, please stop. it's kind of freaking me out.
• putting all your cards on the table after a few beers can be both liberating and scary, especially when you tell me that i'm great and attractive and funny AFTER you've had time to think about everything i've said.
• sometimes several glasses of wine, the movie elf and some girl time can solve the problems of the world
• i think the mirror in my bathroom at work is more flattering that the one in my house. i thought i looked a bit thick when i left this morning, but just now thought that i was maybe okay.