Fatty McFatterson

i haven't been posting here b/c i haven't been feeling particularly inspired to share the sordid details of my weight gain with the world.

the boy and i recently took a cruise and then i came home and managed to binge on things like cheeseburgers and beer with no exercise until suddenly i realized about a week ago that i now weigh as much as i did when i moved to pdx 4 years ago (and was also very unhappy) and that i only have two pairs of pants to wear which is why i've actually been wearing dresses to work 2-4 days a week. not, as i previously thought, because i suddenly enjoyed how feminine they make me feel.

since i lost about 15 pounds 4 years ago, i've, for the most part, been really good about eating well and exercising and have managed to stay within about 3-4 pounds of that weight until recently. last week i realized that i've gone so far past the point of no return that i no longer have the motivation to fix this on my own and that i needed to go back to training with a professional to keep me on track.

enter last night:

last night i might have fibbed to my trainerfriend about how much i had been working out and also maybe told her i wanted to be sore today. so, as asked, she kicked my fat little ass and went all jillian michaels on me, to the point where i almost threw up on her gym floor. (thankfully, she suddenly realized i was white as a sheet and made me go lay down and do ab exercises lest i projectile vomit while lifting weights).

i'm pleased to say that today, i feel only moderately sore with what i'm sure is a complete freeze up of unused muscles coming tomorrow. my biggest discomfort today comes in the form of a pain between my two seemingly gigantic ass cheeks where they rubbed up the bicycle seat for far longer than they would've preferred. yep, you heard it here first, my ass cheeks are a whining.

anyway, since i can't regale you with dating stories since theboy is pretty much fantastic and even cooked me a healthy dinner last night for my post-workout nutritution, you now get to spend the next few months with me figuring out how to get back into my size 4 clothes and dealing with my body whining every time i deny it a beer and offer it a 12-lb weight.

cheers.

ps - i totally have a little girl crush on jillian michaels. her angry demeanor seems to work for people and her 30-day shred is a great quick workout when i don't have time for much else.