while were on the subject...

at the end of this post, i mentioned the spanx. today, i donned a clean pair of them to increase the svelte look of this pinstriped skirt. the last couple times i've worn the spanx, it's led me to have this internal dialogue (carrie bradshaw style) and now i'm bringing it to you, the internets. because, i can't help but wonder...when wearing the spanx am i fronting as someone i'm not?

spanx are essentially a body slimmer, right? and if i'm wearing a body slimmer under my clothes then even though i may be presenting a sleeker more streamlined version of myself, i'm essentially presenting a slightly altered version of myself. and then i get to thinking about how this isn't really any different from the women who use the cutlets to enhance their busts (not that i have any experience in this area). and then i start to think about how awkward that would be if on a date or something and the cutlet suddenly came out, how your date might be shocked. pretty much that's a little bit similar to these silly spanx - they make me a little bit of something i'm not. at any rate, the difference is not super noticeable (between the wearing and the not), probably mostly to myself but today this whole slight alteration of the body bit is in my head.

just thinking is all...

dating is f'ing hiliarious

and i haven't even started yet.

but in honor of my upcoming adventures (even i think it's hilarious and it happens to me) i thought i'd share some of my worst and best dating experiences. (because let's be honest here, those of of you in the committed relationship, marriage, whatever, love to hear my crazy assed dating stories - i could write a book about this stuff).

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my first worst date:

my first worst date occurred sometime in college (it was the best of the worst if that's any indication of what's to come). some guy, who we will call Jon (and who's name really may have been Jon but it's been so long that i really can't remember and if i can't remember then there's no way that you could ever figure out who it is and even in Jon did read this blog for some strange reason unbeknownst to me he wouldn't even know it's him and also b/c i apparently love run on sentences).

anyway, Jon wanted to take me out on a date. Jon was a nice-ish guy who I knew from one or more activities i was involved in during my college years. i wasn't particularly attracted to him, but he seemed nice enough and so i agreed to meet him at some ridiculous chain restaurant (think Chili's, Applebee's, etc.). Note: every girl has their own deal breakers and this happens to be one of many for me. so if you know me and you think you might want to date me, please, please don't take me to the chain unless i've requested it b/c i'm craving some wacky food they have, but also never, ever take me to the chain on the first date - it's just not going to work for us.

so, i meet Jon at the chili's (or whatever) and we sit down for our meal. Jon orders a salad, i do not. midway through Jon's salad he drips some dressing on his hand and rather than use the perfectly nice napkin he has placed in his lap, he decides to remove the salad dressing from his hand with his tongue in a public place. (btw - he did not remove it with his tongue in some kind of sexy trying to turn me on way, he removed it like a dog lapping your excess ice cream from a bowl). deal breaker #1.

but, oh no, it did not stop there. i manage to somehow sit through the remainder of the meal and when the check comes i do what every good girl has been taught to do - the purse reach. now i'm all about going dutch (or whatever you want to call it) but in some ways am a bit old fashioned and think that if you asked me out, you should probably pay. turns out our pal, Jon, has forgotten his wallet so i did more than reached for my purse, i paid for our meal, on our first date!!!!

and that my friend's is why Jon never made it past round one.

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in other news, rosie wanted me to title my next post "my spanx are dirty" because that was my MO all of last week. i had traveled to seattle on friday, spent the weekend with friends and been awakened in my hotel room sunday eve at 3:30AM by a fire alarm - it put a damper on the week's start. tuesday and wednesday were super busy, migraine on thursday, felt fat in my skirt b/c my spanx really were dirty. a weekend guest expected on friday.

unfortunately, said weekend guest could not come in the end so i ended up with an unexpected free weekend. i enjoyed my new local coffee shop, met rosie for shopping fun, saw the devil wears prada, went for a long bike ride and generally enjoyed the sunny PDX weather.

not too bad for starting the weekend off "dirty" (as in my spanx sillies).

fall has fallen

when spring begins budding anew we always say "spring has sprung", what do we say about fall?

at any rate, if possible fall has officially arrived almost overnight. yes i know the days have been getting shorter and the nights cooler, but with the occasional hot day still rearing it's sweaty head, i thought my favorite season was never going to arrive this year. on a walk with leslie earlier this week, i lamented about the fact that i couldn't wait for the rains. well, the rains arrived today. last night i slept in my flannel pj pants with the windows open and woke up this morning with both cats and me snuggling into the summer quilt - i love it!

on my drive up to seattle this morning (yes, i'm up here over the weekend for work - two trips in one week), i was completely caught off guard when i stopped daydreaming for a moment only to catch a glimpse of some tree lined road with leaves in all colors of golden, red and orange - i love fall. today, a little jacket with my outfit and the umbrella in the back seat, a quick thai lunch (warm foods are necessary) with two of my favorite co-workers from our bellevue office. tonight, time with a dear old seattle friend and a cozy fire. this weekend i'll be enjoying fall in the great emerald city and next week, i'll think about fall in PDX.

can't wait to wear scarves and boots...

smacked in the face with fun (and other random happenings)

WARNING: This post is B-O-R-I-N-G, boring!!! I'm just so busy that I can't think of anything to write about other than what I've been up to.

So here goes. Here's what I've been doing in the last week when you maybe thought I was MIA.

* I reminded myself that sometimes it's fun to use capital letters and correct punctuation when writing.

* I've been working like a madwoman managing too much stuff, but my first major event in my new position (for approx. 600) is on Monday so that's why I'm not blogging, not calling, not emailing, not anything except finalizing and traveling.

And now, on to the ways in which I've been smacked in the face with fun:

* Last Friday night, I went on a super long walk with my friend the lumberjack (great pet name, eh? I didn't decide it - her bf's sister did). we walked all through this beautiful park. btw, did you know that Portland has the highest rate of green space/parks per capita of anywhere in the US or some such statistic? Then we went back to lumberjack's house for some Thai, wine and chatter.

* Saturday I had the pleasure of attending the soapbox race finals with some new PDX friends. What fun! Mostly it reminded me of some themed fraternity party from when I was in college, but I enjoyed the sun, innovation and general boozing. This event was followed by the exploration of my new hood and the Belmont Street fair.

* Saturday night Rosie came over for dinner when I inexplicably got a wee bit too intoxicated (honest, i did not drink THAT much). We caught up on all things as we hadn't seen each other in weeks.

* Sunday I laid in a pile for most of the day and then went bike riding and to lunch around the SE - great fun.

* This week I'm crazy traveling (yesterday), in PDX today and tomorrow and back to Seattle Fri - Mon. Expect posting to be sporadic and less than fascinating unless I happen upon something that my internet friends can't live another moment without knowing.

I promise to entertain you next week.

"if you don't quit, i'm going to leave you behind on purpose"

that's a direct quote from some sushi conversation i overheard yesterday at the pearl district art festival. i spied some really beautiful art there - i'm always in awe of the artistic folk (i'm okay with the art of wordsmithing, but not much else), that vision of something out of nothing, seeing the beauty in the mundane, it's an awesome, awesome thing. even more "interesting" were the people attending the event. it takes all kinds right? and people come out of the woodwork for a free festival and fried food, but the kicker was definitely the parenting moment quoted above. now don't think i've never thought that about anyone, b/c believe me i have. but, i was totally shocked and a little bit sad to hear a woman say that phrase to her child b/c seriously? no child needs to hear that from her mom. (that's a megan tip on parenting for you b/c i have oh-so-much experience in that area).


after that madness, i snuck into a theater to watch little miss sunshine - a movie that made me laugh so hard i literally had tears running down my cheeks. a nice close to my home improvement weekend.

unpacking memories

this weekend is home improvement weekend, but it also includes unpacking my boxes of books to fill my new bookshelves. i love my books, i love to look through them and remind myself of those i've read, those i've yet to read and those i'll never read - they've been packed up for almost two years and so unpacking is literally unpacking memories, old friends and i've missed them. mixed in with my books in the boxes are my old journals; i'm starting to reread where i was at different places in my life and today came across this entry (dated 2003):

I have so much feeling and emotion inside me and too many people who know bits and pieces and love to tell me how they think I should feel and react, but the truth of the matter is that I'm the only one who's ever been inside me so I'm the only one who knows what I should do. So many changes, so much pain and so much happiness. I was only gone a week and it seems fall has set in and summer is officially over and it makes me so terribly sad because I know there may/will never be this summer again - this Seattle, this ______, this anything. Reckless love? Hurt? Anger? Fear? Will this happen again? Can it be alright? What do I need to do for me? Heal, but how - not when ______ is hurting - and I can't be there to support, to think, to believe. Will I be the one that got away? Will he? How do you support someone you love who has hurt you, but whom you also know to be hurting? I have no answers. I can't keep putting my life on hold....I want to be there, but need to nourish myself. "Remember happy moments and the rest will work itself out," XXX says. But there are so many - my life, my summer on and on - they over-shadow all else, yet I still feel pain. Memories fading, moments of sadness, what if I never feel this again? I have to let it go and do what comes naturally to me. What is that?

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no one said i wasn't a little bit dramatic, but this is me real, unplugged, passionate. i shouldn't feel this anguished, but this is the passion i should always feel.

this post brought to you by memories and the letter "M"; keep watching for more journalistic reflections to come.