strawberries

sorry in advance for the randomness of this post - it's pure stream of consciousness...

i threw my morning completely out of whack today just by adding strawberries to my breakfast smoothie. i was trying to use up some fresh strawberries and mixed them with my frozen berries and suddenly everything was out of whack - my smoothie was too sweet and not as thick as it usually is and...hmmm, something's not good.

it's funny how that's the thing that threw me into a tizzy. yesterday wasn't exactly great - too little sleep, too much wine and fun on sunday night led to a misstep in my week's kick-off but somehow i didn't feel completely out of whack in my monday fog.

it's fascinating the things that affect me.

i was in LA last week for a few days and have been formulating a blog post in my mind ever since i returned. out for drinks with a friend the other night, he asked me what the blog post would be knowing full well that the wheels in my little head were turning thinking of what statement i wanted to make and why. another friend reminded me of the bloggers syndrome - the whole idea that every encounter must result in a blog post and therefore you begin looking at your entire being as a story you will tell online - i try not to do it anymore, but i definitely have. now i just stick to the random minutiae of my life or other such silliness.

i wanted to blog about these girls that i had lunch with in lala. it was a business meeting that turned into a "my story about dating at our age" discussion. the moral of the story? dating in LA is worse than dating here...i think. two gorgeous gals telling me about the actors and the insecurities and the need to drive a mercedes and i'm thinking well at least i don't have to weed through all of that.

for a minute i could see myself living in LA, except for the part where i had to maneuver my SUV across the millions of lanes of traffic on every highway. everyone i talked to said they don't commute more than an hour - my commute's that bad often enough. it was sunny and friendly and fashionable and for a second i thought about LA. then i remembered that i already have days when i don't feel good about myself - i'm not pretty enough, smart enough, make enough money, etc. i don't need a ginormous city to tell me i'm not good enough everyday.

and so today, pdx wins.