this is what i have to look forward to?

the other night at happy hour with some new PDX friends, i heard one of the most horrifying modern day cheating stories that i've ever known to be true.

one of the women i was with shared the following story about her friend, scorned lover (SL).

SL had known things weren't perfect between she and the boy for a month or more. in fact, they'd opted to take some breathing space for two weeks to determine next steps. one week into the "space" SL decided that this whole thing was BS and called the boy to make plans one week in to sort everything out. (btw...SL and the boy had been dating for quite some time) they agreed to meet on sunday to discuss what's what. sunday morning SL called the boy to finalize details but her call went unanswered so she took herself for a walk. when she returned an hour or so later, the call had still not been returned (very unlike the boy) so she got a little worried. several hours later (when she had still not heard back) she took herself over to the boy's house and let herself in with her key. like a scene from a movie, inside SL found clothes strewn about, two cars in the garage (one belonging to someone other than the boy) and other evidence that the boy had been with someone else. all evidence of SL had been removed from the boy's house - her personal items from the shower, her robe, etc. it was obvious that this hadn't just been a one-night thing; the boy had taken great care to erase any evidence of SL.

so, SL did what any normal, totally freaked out, just discovered she'd been cheated on woman would do. she rifled through drawers until she found most of her stuff and wrote a post-it note stating that it was over and she'd like her key and the rest of her stuff back as soon as possible. and then she walked out the door, sobbed and called her girlfriend.

as my friend was sharing this story, my first thought was "well, at least she didn't walk in on the two of them together," but my longer reflections on this make me sick to my stomach. these two people had exchanged keys and portions of their lives and yet the boy had no qualms about putting SL's stuff away, regardless of their situation. this is scary, scary stuff.

now i realize that both men and women cheat - i've heard both sides of the story. i'm not a cheater - never have been, never will be. i'm sure i've been cheated on (in fact, there are definitely moments, or a moment, when i believe/believed that my last bf started cheating on me and that may have been the exact moment when i checked out), but if this is what i have to look forward to, why even bother getting back out there?