you heard it here first

last night i swung by borders to finally, finally get a 2007 calendar. (for those of you that don't know me, you should know that having a calendar posted in my cubicle is paramount to the success of me. i need it to make me feel good about crossing out every day to note the passage of time). i've only been in my office 6 days in 2007 and everyday felt this huge gaping hole when i didn't have a day to cross off. the good news about waiting so long? calendars were only $4! and i got a great angry little girls calendar to match the book Nata got me a couple years ago for my b-day.

since i'd driven around for 20 mins. trying to find a parking space, i thought i would spend some time browsing the store while i was in there. i rounded the corner past the self-help section and there was that damn "he's just not that into you" book that everyone raves about. please note: i have never ever picked up this book before yesterday, but have secretly wondered what it was all about. so last night, i threw caution into the wind and picked that sucker up and starting thumbing through the first few chapters.

here's what i learned:

1. the font in that thing is huge! pretty much making that man feel like he wrote a really long and useful book, but didn't.
2. 90% of the text is fake emails with his responses. um, if i ever write a book it will not be in that format.
3. any guy who isn't knocking down your door, bringing you flowers everyday, calling you every minute, being pretty much a stalker is just not that into you.

which i guess explains why every single relationship or male encounter i have ever had has not worked out.