oops, it was an accident. i swear.

i tried to poison my house guests the other night. it was an accident, i promise.

you see, sometimes i do dumb stuff, make mistakes, you know drop or spill things. this is kind of like that.

(Side note: my space bar is malfunctioning so i keep having to go back and fix it. it's annoying.)

anyway, here's how it goes:

i have a smoke alarm that doesn't like the steam from the bathroom, much less things like a potato baking in the oven or god forbid, the searing of a flank steak so it never shocks me when it goes off. in fact, before my house guests arrived the other day i just plain took it down. you know, safety first and all...

so, a little background...the last few times i've baked something in my oven it has smelled a little bit funny, but i don't use my oven that often (i'm more of a stove top cooking girl) so i just really figured it was lack of use - didn't think a thing of it. oh, and when the smoke alarm kept going off? well that's just typical.

fast forward to girls night: i'm cooking all these apps and yummies in the oven, just in time for their arrival, the oven's smelling super funny but that's normal so i open the window, turn on the fan, light a candle and apologize when they arrive. no biggie. they eat all the food, drink all the wine, it's a good girls night.

it's only when i'm cleaning up that i realize my grave error. this summer i got some new bbq tools for my bbq. for a long time they just sat on my stovetop when i wasn't using them b/c they don't fit anywhere, but when fall came and i stopped bbqing as much i knew they had to find a home. so, i threw them in the drawer under the oven where things like my cast iron pans and whatnot live.

after the girls leave, i handwash some dishes and get ready to put away the baking sheets in the above mentioned "drawer". imagine my surprise when i open it up to find that all of the handles on my bbq utensils have melted and my even greater surprise when i get down to the bottom of the drawer where it clearly states "do not use for storage". oops and oops.

well at least we know why it smells funny. AND thankfully my guests didn't die from toxic fume inhalation.

lesson learned.

what i got...

nothing.

i'm feeling a bit blah today. my tummy hurts from eating food i'm not accustomed to with the girls last night. maybe i laughed too much over the weekend - don't know. is this a bad thing? no. but a reality nonetheless - don't get to laugh until my cheeks hurt very often; reminiscing about all the crazy things i've done.

those that i want to call, don't call often enough (which is really only in my head). those that i do not want to call, seem to appear at the wrong times. in fact, why do they continue to appear at all?

work makes me tired, class makes me tired, the magazines are piling up - oh wait?! the newspapers? they're piling up too. i want to read, to immerse myself in those things. i kind of want to cuddle up, no i do want to cuddle up, in the bed with the giant windows overlooking the city. maybe i can read my wall st. journal there.

it's foggy. it's cold. it's raining. it's snowing. can't i just stay under the covers? maybe make tomorrow today?

nope. work calls, life calls, "you're too focused", "you take work too seriously". vacation? who takes vacation? where would i go anyway?

the gym. i actually like that place. i like the way i feel when i leave, how my legs and arms get more defined the longer i lift weights. i hate that to go today i would've had to have gotten up at 5am. i didn't and i won't tomorrow either or the next day for that matter. because i won't go, i will feel gross, suddenly overly aware of my body, my faults. i'll start to wonder if i'm just a giant blob that no one wants. i'll consider reverting. to then, to that time. i won't.

instead, i'll climb all the way into my head. ponder choices, ponder money, ponder all things. then i'll take a deep breath (now) and continue to respond to the emails.

really, it's just another tuesday.

you guys are gonna love this one...

a little story for you.

i'm traveling today and actually staying in one of the crappiest hotels i've ever stayed in for work travel (ick!) good thing it's only one night. (note: this is not the story)

i think a lot of you have met my girls. maybe you haven't met them intimately, but you know of them, have seen them out and about (not literally) but you know, they're kind of hard to miss. the girls normally don't get me into any kind of trouble other than needing to order a size up in a shirt b/c it won't button without pulling or maybe a cat call or two, but we took things to a new level today.

i had a layover today in the dallas/ft. worth airport. my plane had arrived on time, but there was no gate available for us so we sat on the tarmac for about 40 minutes. by the time we arrived at our gate, i had only about 20 minutes before boarding for my next flight - i hadn't eaten anything since 6AM pdx time and it was now 3:30PM local time. i was starving so i dashed into one of those crappy magazine food places and grabbed a sandwich and some chips. i have no idea what possessed me to grab cruncy cheetos (b/c um, i haven't eaten those things in years, but i did). i'm sitting by my gate waiting the 4 mins before they start loading me and this middle aged southern man begins to tell me about the horrible travel day he's had. i'm shoveling cheetos into my mouth (britney style) and carrying on a conversation with him. all is going well until a cheeto slips out of my hand and lands in my cleavage just out of view (but i can see it when i look down). now, i don't want to make this man feel uncomfortable (by trying to fish it out while talking) and i don't know if he saw it happen, but it's kind of itching. so i'm trying to continue our conversation and secretly am racking my brain, mortified, trying to figure out how i'm going to get this thing out. finally, the man gets called for an upgrade (thank god) and i reach down and fish the little cheeto out, silently mortified that i've almost embarrassed a nice southern man, i just got a cheeto out of my cleavage, and good god, a cheeto in your chest?

thank goodness the whole encounter only lasted a few minutes, but i'm still dying...

wonder if under different circumstances someone would've thought it was sexy and fished it out?

thoughts rattlin' in my head

• i'm still trying to get my life back together after being gone off and on quite a lot of the last month.


• things i need to do include: unpack and put away two suitcases, clean my house (including the bathroom), make something with all the delicious food in my fridge, catch up with friends and family, respond to all of your emails sitting in my inbox, do my actual work, pet the cat, have some fun, maybe just drink wine.


• i'm leaving again on tuesday (so really why bother with the above?) i also have no idea why the formatting is all f'd up right here. sorry if this makes you want to poke your eyes out with dull pencils b/c it kind of does me.
• last night in my class i encountered the guy who i thought died after high school or at least college, the guy who's always the first to finish the exam and makes a big deal about it and you don't know if he aced it or totally screwed up. it's clear these people never go away, even when i hoped that they would. i'll update you on this guy next week, he's new and he's not going anywhere.
• i'm still a total klutz (i know this is not news to you.). current example: monday night date night. i'm excitedly showing my date a picture i'm about to share with you and somehow manage to spill an entire beer on the table (note: it was my first beer). my date laughs, says it's okay it's so you, grabs a rag from the bartender and cleans up my mess. he still kisses me goodnight - keeper?


• i'm still relishing in that kiss and the suite i stayed in last week. (to take a phrase from camel) le sigh.

PS - i don't know why this picture is so small, it hardly does it justice. my computer is kind of a piece right now and i have no patience to figure it out. hopefully, you can get the gist.

this couldn't wait

i just checked my email, my anonymous email, the one i use for the dating. the one i use so that the people don't know my last name so they don't hunt me down. if i like you, you have my personal email for my personal stuff - the one that has a first and last name and you probably don't even know about the other email. unless, of course, you've been upgraded. if you don't get the first and last name email from the get go it's a pretty sure sign that you're never going to be upgraded, but then again i guess you don't know that.

anyway, i just checked my email. the guy from the "cats as creatures" story just emailed me. started off with the phrase "hey, good looking". ended with suggesting a day in the snow sometime soon. apparently he and i were not on the same date.

can i ask, dear innernets, what on earth makes men feel compelled to write things like that after i've been out with you just one time?! you seem a bit to comfy in something that was over before it began.

this isn't the first time this has happened, i'm guessing it won't be the last.

if i liked you, i'd probably be flattered, but as it stands i'm mostly annoyed.

hmphf!!!

a little break

hi all and happy new year.

i've been taking a little break to celebrate the holidays and also to be very, very sick. i'm back now, but just for a moment - a work trip calls in just 2 short days.

i'll do my best to check in while i'm away, but if not i'll share all the holiday and new year cheer when i return.