Tuesday, January 29, 2008

what i got...

nothing.

i'm feeling a bit blah today. my tummy hurts from eating food i'm not accustomed to with the girls last night. maybe i laughed too much over the weekend - don't know. is this a bad thing? no. but a reality nonetheless - don't get to laugh until my cheeks hurt very often; reminiscing about all the crazy things i've done.

those that i want to call, don't call often enough (which is really only in my head). those that i do not want to call, seem to appear at the wrong times. in fact, why do they continue to appear at all?

work makes me tired, class makes me tired, the magazines are piling up - oh wait?! the newspapers? they're piling up too. i want to read, to immerse myself in those things. i kind of want to cuddle up, no i do want to cuddle up, in the bed with the giant windows overlooking the city. maybe i can read my wall st. journal there.

it's foggy. it's cold. it's raining. it's snowing. can't i just stay under the covers? maybe make tomorrow today?

nope. work calls, life calls, "you're too focused", "you take work too seriously". vacation? who takes vacation? where would i go anyway?

the gym. i actually like that place. i like the way i feel when i leave, how my legs and arms get more defined the longer i lift weights. i hate that to go today i would've had to have gotten up at 5am. i didn't and i won't tomorrow either or the next day for that matter. because i won't go, i will feel gross, suddenly overly aware of my body, my faults. i'll start to wonder if i'm just a giant blob that no one wants. i'll consider reverting. to then, to that time. i won't.

instead, i'll climb all the way into my head. ponder choices, ponder money, ponder all things. then i'll take a deep breath (now) and continue to respond to the emails.

really, it's just another tuesday.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Keep the faith sister, and don't let the winter blahs and constant traveling get to you. Life is incredible and all things considered we have it pretty great. Seriously. You're healthy, and peeps love you and you're seeing the world....other things that may not be floating your boat will get better/change with time. Enjoy what you can right now because it's fantastic.

little ms. notetaker said...

Hooray for laughing till it hurts. Sunday afternoon I thought, "man, my abs hurt," yet it's been months since I've done a single crunch. It was from all the laughing. So forget the gym, let's just laugh, it's gotta do something. And then if we both become blobs, at least we'll be funny blobs that like to laugh, and who doesn't want that?!

Thanks for the laughs! :)