for starters it's not what you think.
it's been a funny week for me, this one. starting work on monday, traveling on tuesday, major traffic and car issues on wednesday...it's thursday and monday, but i wish it were friday. really, it's just too much.
tuesday i flew up to seattle for a meeting and a site visit. a super long day for a super short trip. i left for the airport very early tuesday morning since i'd never driven from the new place to the airport and i had no idea what security would be like given the current state of the world. 5AM came early on tuesday.
overall an uneventful trip (if you don't count the part where i wasn't able to check in for my flight and the fact that the site visit that i stayed in seattle an extra 5 hours for lasted only 10 minutes)the kicker for tuesday occurred at the very very end of the day. i don't know how often you travel for business, but when i come home from a business trip the only place i want to be is home.
i'm walking out of the terminal behind this cute little family - mom, dad, kid. they're all carrying bags and the kid's whining b/c he has to carry the laptop bag. he's a seven year old whining b/c he has to carry a laptop bag - i seriously wanted to trip him. they're crowding the entire walkway and the kid's messing with the automatic revolving door and i can't get past and i've already been gone hours longer than i wanted to and i seriously think something awful's going to happen and that this just might be the one time that i'm going to lose it and yell or push or something.
i finally get around the "family" and am scurrying (yes, scurrying that's what i do in the airport - it's similar to the scoot that my friend kathleen and i jokingly patented in college) and i'm heading toward the stairs mere moments from the safety of my vehicle when i'm stopped dead in my tracks by a somewhat bright and shiny object resting on the fire extinguisher by the stairs - there in all it's glory lies a glass pipe just waiting to be smoked. i stood frozen in my tracks for a good 30 seconds debating what to do and i'm not even sure what my options were, but i've been conditioned my entire life to pick up lost items and make them my own. when i was a little kid and played with dolls i would always pick up lost pacifiers and whatnot. my mom would put them through the dishwasher and once clean they would become new accessories for my dolls. i've picked up rocks that i thought were neat, pennies and nickels and dimes, oh my. i've found pieces of jewelry, i have some really cool vintage ties i found in a dumpster once that i like to wear as belts - i pick things up. so there i was trying to figure out who would have left the pipe and whether or not i should take it. not so much b/c i needed it but b/c it was there. but mostly i just wondered if the person who left it there had left it there strategically (it's a fitting place to leave your pipe - on a fire extinguisher) and if they hoped it would still be there when they got back.
i don't know the answer and i ultimately left the pipe right where i found it, but had i traveled with it my day would have been much more relaxed.
#####
this weekend holds book shelves and towel bars. i'm working on unpacking the last few boxes.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
on being bershon...
dooce (who, btw, i don't even know other than the fact that i stalk her blog) blogged about bershon yesterday. and if there's any way to describe me today it's bershon. if i still had my long permed hair and big bangs, my one piece teal jumpsuit thing complete with mega-elastic belt, you have no idea just how bershon i'd be.
i'm just saying is all...
i'm just saying is all...
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
just talking...
if there's one thing i know about this blogging business it's that you have to update these things about 2-3 times a week in order to keep your readers engaged. given the fact that i only have 2 or 3 of you that i know read this thing on a regular basis i think it's even more important for me to entertain you regularly. (let's be honest if even one of you stops reading, it'll cut my readership in half and that would be detrimental to my future book sales).
here's the problem: i got nothing for you...nothing.
so today you just get to hear me talk. so i moved this weekend. my movers showed up three hours late which was a bit stressful and made me grumpy. i actually called the owner two times and told him what's what. (he didn't give me a discount on my move though and i'm pretty sure they dragged my cream colored couch in something black on purpose - jerks!) it was hot this weekend and i sweated a lot trying to set up and move my furniture all by myself - i ran over my toe with my bed which kind of hurt and i discovered that washcloths are true lifesavers when you are only one person trying to move large pieces of furniture across brand new hardwood floors.
overall my place is great, i'm settling in. a few things are annoying like the fact that the developer didn't put up towel racks and i missed that so now i have to purchase and install myself. the garbage is really inconveniently far away from my place (which i suppose isn't a bad thing) and somebody's cats were fighting during the first night i was there.
i've also learned some things about my cats. did you know cats can projectile vomit? i didn't either, but daphne my super scaredy cat freaked herself out about the move and demonstrated her skills on my brand new hardwood floors. also, my cats are afraid of my washer because it has a clear front and it's right at their eye level so they can see the clothes swirling around in there. ooooh, scary! they run by it as fast as they can.
so that's me in a nutshell...surviving.
here's the problem: i got nothing for you...nothing.
so today you just get to hear me talk. so i moved this weekend. my movers showed up three hours late which was a bit stressful and made me grumpy. i actually called the owner two times and told him what's what. (he didn't give me a discount on my move though and i'm pretty sure they dragged my cream colored couch in something black on purpose - jerks!) it was hot this weekend and i sweated a lot trying to set up and move my furniture all by myself - i ran over my toe with my bed which kind of hurt and i discovered that washcloths are true lifesavers when you are only one person trying to move large pieces of furniture across brand new hardwood floors.
overall my place is great, i'm settling in. a few things are annoying like the fact that the developer didn't put up towel racks and i missed that so now i have to purchase and install myself. the garbage is really inconveniently far away from my place (which i suppose isn't a bad thing) and somebody's cats were fighting during the first night i was there.
i've also learned some things about my cats. did you know cats can projectile vomit? i didn't either, but daphne my super scaredy cat freaked herself out about the move and demonstrated her skills on my brand new hardwood floors. also, my cats are afraid of my washer because it has a clear front and it's right at their eye level so they can see the clothes swirling around in there. ooooh, scary! they run by it as fast as they can.
so that's me in a nutshell...surviving.
Friday, August 18, 2006
what is it with guys and doctors?
seriously. what is it?
5+ years ago when things went down the proverbial drain with the other live-in boyfriend (LIB), i thought i'd never hear from him again until one day out of the blue he called me to ask if i could remember who his eye doctor was and where he was located. because seriously, those are the things that your ex-girlfriend should keep track of for you right? but the thing is, i DID remember who the eye doctor was and where he was located even though i'd never visited this doctor myself.
today the recent ex-LIB calls me to tell me he's on the way to the dentist and do i remember where it is. to his credit, we at least visited the same dentist so it wasn't that absurd, but still.
so maybe i'm the crazy one and that's my problem. you see when i have a doctor's appointment (of any type), i look up the address and verify i know how to get there before i leave my house. call me crazy...but it makes sense to me.
#####
in other news, it's moving weekend. as long as i don't fall down and break myself further, we'll be back to our regularly scheduled programming next week.
5+ years ago when things went down the proverbial drain with the other live-in boyfriend (LIB), i thought i'd never hear from him again until one day out of the blue he called me to ask if i could remember who his eye doctor was and where he was located. because seriously, those are the things that your ex-girlfriend should keep track of for you right? but the thing is, i DID remember who the eye doctor was and where he was located even though i'd never visited this doctor myself.
today the recent ex-LIB calls me to tell me he's on the way to the dentist and do i remember where it is. to his credit, we at least visited the same dentist so it wasn't that absurd, but still.
so maybe i'm the crazy one and that's my problem. you see when i have a doctor's appointment (of any type), i look up the address and verify i know how to get there before i leave my house. call me crazy...but it makes sense to me.
#####
in other news, it's moving weekend. as long as i don't fall down and break myself further, we'll be back to our regularly scheduled programming next week.
karma: it does a body good
sometimes i really do wonder about myself.
my co-workers put a new sticker on my cube window yesterday. it's a photo of a woman sprawled out on the ground, a full four on the floor - she's taken quite a spill. i know i've laughed until my sides hurt, with a number of you readers (okay, you one reader), about the all time funniest falls we've ever witnessed. you know, the type that are in slow motion and you want to ask the person if they are okay but for some reason the fall was so hee-larious that you can't even ask.
yesterday, karma bit me back for all those times. i caught the heel of my shoe on the plastic mat under my desk chair when i ran back to my desk, late for a meeting, to grab something i forgot. all of the sudden my feet were out from under me, my desk chair wheeling itself out of the way. i banged my elbow and tweaked my neck and sat on the floor laughing to myself.
no one witnessed my great fall, so there was no one there to ask if i was okay but it made me laugh so hard that i had to tell my two closest cubies what they'd missed. (they're great, they put up the pic later).
one point for karma.
my co-workers put a new sticker on my cube window yesterday. it's a photo of a woman sprawled out on the ground, a full four on the floor - she's taken quite a spill. i know i've laughed until my sides hurt, with a number of you readers (okay, you one reader), about the all time funniest falls we've ever witnessed. you know, the type that are in slow motion and you want to ask the person if they are okay but for some reason the fall was so hee-larious that you can't even ask.
yesterday, karma bit me back for all those times. i caught the heel of my shoe on the plastic mat under my desk chair when i ran back to my desk, late for a meeting, to grab something i forgot. all of the sudden my feet were out from under me, my desk chair wheeling itself out of the way. i banged my elbow and tweaked my neck and sat on the floor laughing to myself.
no one witnessed my great fall, so there was no one there to ask if i was okay but it made me laugh so hard that i had to tell my two closest cubies what they'd missed. (they're great, they put up the pic later).
one point for karma.
Monday, August 14, 2006
ummm, yeh...
insert foot in mouth much? that's the phrase currently running through my head.
i just had a conversation with two co-workers (one being my boss) and i was discussing my upcoming move and how i got a hold of my boxes.
this exact phrase just came out of my mouth: "i've become a great box chaser."
and then i turned beet red, noted how awkward this was and changed the subject.
because, seriously? did i just say that?
co-workers, for clarification: i meant that i've become a great finder of free boxes and then chasing them down. MOVING BOXES!!!
i just had a conversation with two co-workers (one being my boss) and i was discussing my upcoming move and how i got a hold of my boxes.
this exact phrase just came out of my mouth: "i've become a great box chaser."
and then i turned beet red, noted how awkward this was and changed the subject.
because, seriously? did i just say that?
co-workers, for clarification: i meant that i've become a great finder of free boxes and then chasing them down. MOVING BOXES!!!
Friday, August 11, 2006
this message brought to you by...
the letter "P" and my local homeless neighbor.
today got a jump start when leslie suggested we meet at the gym at 6AM for a quick run before starting our days. i love when leslie pressures me into meeting her anywhere for a workout because once i've committed to something like that i'll never back out. so even before my alarm went off this morning, i was awake, afraid that i'd oversleep and become that person. when i go to the gym in the early morning i always scurry from my house down the street a little afraid that i'm walking and it's still kind of dark (ladies and sketchy neighborhoods and darkness don't really fit well together) and i purposefully always alter my route to go in front of the fire department. (the reason for that is two-fold. 1) for safety and 2) just in case there's a cute fireman out doing something manly).
on my way to the gym i always pass the local synagogue and the homeless man who sleeps in the doorway (he's always still sleeping at that hour). today he was just standing up, getting ready to leave his alcove to relieve himself and i completely caught him off guard. he grunted, scurried (today i love the word scurry) back to his sleeping bag and shouted a warm greeting to me. when i said hello back, we exchanged brief pleasantries and i chuckled to myself as i walked away; about how i'd interrupted my neighbor doing his "business".
things i'm thankful for - my new home (or any home for that matter) and a clean place to pee; i'd probably be grumpy if i was surprised by some lady when trying to take care of my business.
today got a jump start when leslie suggested we meet at the gym at 6AM for a quick run before starting our days. i love when leslie pressures me into meeting her anywhere for a workout because once i've committed to something like that i'll never back out. so even before my alarm went off this morning, i was awake, afraid that i'd oversleep and become that person. when i go to the gym in the early morning i always scurry from my house down the street a little afraid that i'm walking and it's still kind of dark (ladies and sketchy neighborhoods and darkness don't really fit well together) and i purposefully always alter my route to go in front of the fire department. (the reason for that is two-fold. 1) for safety and 2) just in case there's a cute fireman out doing something manly).
on my way to the gym i always pass the local synagogue and the homeless man who sleeps in the doorway (he's always still sleeping at that hour). today he was just standing up, getting ready to leave his alcove to relieve himself and i completely caught him off guard. he grunted, scurried (today i love the word scurry) back to his sleeping bag and shouted a warm greeting to me. when i said hello back, we exchanged brief pleasantries and i chuckled to myself as i walked away; about how i'd interrupted my neighbor doing his "business".
things i'm thankful for - my new home (or any home for that matter) and a clean place to pee; i'd probably be grumpy if i was surprised by some lady when trying to take care of my business.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
the countdown
whenever i face major change in my life (that i'm expecting anyway) i begin what i like to think of as the countdown; the opportunity to do things or try things or finish things in the remaining time i have left. (note: i do this in all situations if i am aware they are looming ahead - ends of relationships, ends of jobs, ends of living situations, whatever).
well apparently the countdown is on in my current living situation and i'm only moving across town!
i'm trying to squeeze in a lot of firsts (and lasts) before i move out of nw portland. i'm approaching the activities with such vigor you might actually think i'm moving somewhere far far away and that i might never ever get back.(this is what it's like to be in my silly little head).
last night's countdown activity included a burrito at my favorite little burrito place one block away from my abode and a trip to the tuesday night summer concert series in our local park. here's the thing: i get a burrito from the burrito place at least once a week so i'm actually going to miss that, but the summer concert series thing? not so much. in fact, before last night i'd never even made an effort to go. sure i'd seen that it was happening while driving home on a tuesday night a few other times and sure i'd thought about going, but last night knowing i'm moving in 10 days* all of the sudden not going wasn't an option. so i went and watched some fun middle aged men sing their little hearts out on the stage. and i basked in the community feeling with all the neighborhoodies and their dogs. and i felt sad that i'd never made the effort to go before and even made plans in my mind to go next week. so really what i'm thinking....why is it that my priorities change when i know something might be the last?
this isn't my only countdown behavior btw, everyday is filled with some sort of countdown something.
10 days...
* Yes, it's official, i'm 100% moving in 10 days - it appears that they do actually give home loans to crazies like me too!
well apparently the countdown is on in my current living situation and i'm only moving across town!
i'm trying to squeeze in a lot of firsts (and lasts) before i move out of nw portland. i'm approaching the activities with such vigor you might actually think i'm moving somewhere far far away and that i might never ever get back.(this is what it's like to be in my silly little head).
last night's countdown activity included a burrito at my favorite little burrito place one block away from my abode and a trip to the tuesday night summer concert series in our local park. here's the thing: i get a burrito from the burrito place at least once a week so i'm actually going to miss that, but the summer concert series thing? not so much. in fact, before last night i'd never even made an effort to go. sure i'd seen that it was happening while driving home on a tuesday night a few other times and sure i'd thought about going, but last night knowing i'm moving in 10 days* all of the sudden not going wasn't an option. so i went and watched some fun middle aged men sing their little hearts out on the stage. and i basked in the community feeling with all the neighborhoodies and their dogs. and i felt sad that i'd never made the effort to go before and even made plans in my mind to go next week. so really what i'm thinking....why is it that my priorities change when i know something might be the last?
this isn't my only countdown behavior btw, everyday is filled with some sort of countdown something.
10 days...
* Yes, it's official, i'm 100% moving in 10 days - it appears that they do actually give home loans to crazies like me too!
Sunday, August 06, 2006
spammers
sorry kids, we had to add word verification to the comments section - the spammers have found me and are making recommendations that i honestly don't need.
please continue to comment - if it's legit, i love to hear what you have to say.
please continue to comment - if it's legit, i love to hear what you have to say.
Saturday, August 05, 2006
i traded my jimmy for a shimmy (but then later got the jimmy back again)
"i don't know if i've ever told you this, but i just learned how to shimmy," i told rosie last night over beers at the full sail brewery in hood river, oregon. "literally. i've had the girls all my life and just now learned how to use them to shimmy." rosie just burst into peals of laughter as we'd been doing for most of the day since we met mid-morning to get out of town for our abbreviated, but much needed girls weekend. rosie responded something to the effect of "i can see your blog post now - you traded your jimmy for a shimmy!"
a brief summary of events:
* 1.5 hours late (all my fault) rosie and i depart portland for a trip through the gorge and the hope of finding a last minute campsite.
* we were reprimanded for driving too fast, the wrong way and potentially endangering children by two old men who came running off their john deere's in the first campsite we looked at. let's just say it wasn't the best fit.
* discovered another campground with availability 2 feet from I-84 thinking the highway noise wouldn't be that bad - it was. made friends with vern the elderly host and he scored us a spot.
* ran into hood river (from now on referred to as hr) for a yummy lunch at a cute local cafe.
* hiked a quick 1.5 miles up to some lookout point who's name escapes me fearing rattlers, poison oak and fire the whole way only to discover a beautiful panoramic view of mt. hood and mt. adams as well as the entire gorge from the top.
* swung into hr to drink some beers and eat at the brewery. spent countless hours giggling about everything and commenting on fellow patio-goers. hr is interesting...
* randomly stumbled upon hr's "first friday celebration". crushed on a band made up of three high schoolers. danced before realizing we were the only ones over 20 hanging out there. immediately departed.
* ended the night with dessert and a nightcap at "jimmy's bar" - that's how i got my jimmy back AND i still got the shimmy.
aside from the lack of sleep and the sore back, a great getaway and completely uncensored!
look closely for jimmy's bar
a brief summary of events:
* 1.5 hours late (all my fault) rosie and i depart portland for a trip through the gorge and the hope of finding a last minute campsite.
* we were reprimanded for driving too fast, the wrong way and potentially endangering children by two old men who came running off their john deere's in the first campsite we looked at. let's just say it wasn't the best fit.
* discovered another campground with availability 2 feet from I-84 thinking the highway noise wouldn't be that bad - it was. made friends with vern the elderly host and he scored us a spot.
* ran into hood river (from now on referred to as hr) for a yummy lunch at a cute local cafe.
* hiked a quick 1.5 miles up to some lookout point who's name escapes me fearing rattlers, poison oak and fire the whole way only to discover a beautiful panoramic view of mt. hood and mt. adams as well as the entire gorge from the top.
* swung into hr to drink some beers and eat at the brewery. spent countless hours giggling about everything and commenting on fellow patio-goers. hr is interesting...
* randomly stumbled upon hr's "first friday celebration". crushed on a band made up of three high schoolers. danced before realizing we were the only ones over 20 hanging out there. immediately departed.
* ended the night with dessert and a nightcap at "jimmy's bar" - that's how i got my jimmy back AND i still got the shimmy.
aside from the lack of sleep and the sore back, a great getaway and completely uncensored!
look closely for jimmy's bar
Thursday, August 03, 2006
cranky
i'm in one heck of a mood today. perhaps the stress of all that i've been dealing with has finally caught up with me, at least that's what i'm going to say it is.
i woke up this morning with a splitting headache and a kink in my neck. every time i move i wince for one reason or another. i'm dropping the f bomb like it's going out of style. i put my IM on busy for most of the day today just so people would stop IMing me - their comments a bit too raw and uncensored for me to stomach when i feel this way. last night i was helping a friend unpack in her new home (a great excuse to get free beer and boxes in anticipation of my upcoming move). i think the grouchiness was already descending and i razzed her about some of her possessions - maybe a bit too much and now i'm feeling bad. i saw a woman in the deli today and the meanest thought crossed my mind as i watched her snarf down multiple pieces of the sample they had laid out - and when the spread ran out she had the audacity to ask for more. no wonder others hate americans, we're greedy and pushy and loud and when i'm grouchy i'll have none of it. i almost walked over and said something, but knew that my mind is not in the right place and it's best to just shut my mouth.
tomorrow, i'll take a much needed break from the office and the insanity which is my life right now. i'll drive out east, enjoying the scenery and the water and look for a place to have a day hike and a long chat with rosie - a much needed reprieve from this. hopefully some fresh air and exercise will work wonders on my attitude. if not, consider this your warning: i'm a grump and any words and actions cannot be held against me.
i woke up this morning with a splitting headache and a kink in my neck. every time i move i wince for one reason or another. i'm dropping the f bomb like it's going out of style. i put my IM on busy for most of the day today just so people would stop IMing me - their comments a bit too raw and uncensored for me to stomach when i feel this way. last night i was helping a friend unpack in her new home (a great excuse to get free beer and boxes in anticipation of my upcoming move). i think the grouchiness was already descending and i razzed her about some of her possessions - maybe a bit too much and now i'm feeling bad. i saw a woman in the deli today and the meanest thought crossed my mind as i watched her snarf down multiple pieces of the sample they had laid out - and when the spread ran out she had the audacity to ask for more. no wonder others hate americans, we're greedy and pushy and loud and when i'm grouchy i'll have none of it. i almost walked over and said something, but knew that my mind is not in the right place and it's best to just shut my mouth.
tomorrow, i'll take a much needed break from the office and the insanity which is my life right now. i'll drive out east, enjoying the scenery and the water and look for a place to have a day hike and a long chat with rosie - a much needed reprieve from this. hopefully some fresh air and exercise will work wonders on my attitude. if not, consider this your warning: i'm a grump and any words and actions cannot be held against me.
Monday, July 31, 2006
pet peeve #1
it's time to start talking about this stuff. if i don't talk about it who will? someone's got to say something!
i work in an office park and i don't really like it. it's two skips off the interstate and is close to nothing but a chili's and a chevy's, but that's not even the root problem. the problem is with the ladies room on the floor where i work.
ladies! there are four stalls in the bathroom! if i am in stall one and there are no other bathroom occupants, please don't use stall #2. it pisses me off and encroaches on my personal space. why when there are two other stalls that would adhere to the one stall of personal space rule would you choose to pee two feet from me. seriously...
oh and also, if you talk on your cell phone from your stall one more time i might bust through the door and drop it into the toilet. disgusting. we have conference rooms for private calls. use them.
signed,
your personal space and hygiene conscious co-worker
ps - wash your hands, everyone has to touch that door handle!!!
Update:
And, if you go into the restroom and no one else is in there, please choose one of the stalls that makes it possible for me, too, to follow the one stall barrier rule...
i work in an office park and i don't really like it. it's two skips off the interstate and is close to nothing but a chili's and a chevy's, but that's not even the root problem. the problem is with the ladies room on the floor where i work.
ladies! there are four stalls in the bathroom! if i am in stall one and there are no other bathroom occupants, please don't use stall #2. it pisses me off and encroaches on my personal space. why when there are two other stalls that would adhere to the one stall of personal space rule would you choose to pee two feet from me. seriously...
oh and also, if you talk on your cell phone from your stall one more time i might bust through the door and drop it into the toilet. disgusting. we have conference rooms for private calls. use them.
signed,
your personal space and hygiene conscious co-worker
ps - wash your hands, everyone has to touch that door handle!!!
Update:
And, if you go into the restroom and no one else is in there, please choose one of the stalls that makes it possible for me, too, to follow the one stall barrier rule...
Thursday, July 27, 2006
did you just try to pick me up???
last night, on my way home from work, i encountered what may have been my funniest pick-up line experience of all time.
i'm sitting in my car at a stoplight approximately 10 blocks from my house, my windows are cracked slightly and i'm pondering all of the things i need to get finished before the end of the week. a large tannish/yellow boat of a car - think old cadillac, buick or other ginormous vehicle pulls up beside me. i don't take much notice of the car but do realize that the man in the passenger seat has a rather large afro.
midway through the wait at the light afro man (AM) rolls down his window and shouts "excuse me", clearly he's talking to me. normally when faced with a complete stranger yelling at me through an open car window in the car next to mine, i would likely feign deafness, stare straight ahead and internally plead for the light to change, but it was a beautiful, sun shiney, not too hot day and i was feeling generous so i rolled down my window and said, "yes?".
AM says "do you know this area well?" and i'm thinking he needs directions so i say "yeh, i live here". AM responds, "well i'd like to follow you home and go bumping in your beetle." and for once in my life instead of being completely annoyed or disgusted, i looked at AM, burst out laughing and said, "yeh, i bet you would," rolled up my window as the light changed and drove away.
i spent a good portion of the next half hour just chuckling to myself about the whole interaction because seriously did AM just try to pick up on me?
i'm sitting in my car at a stoplight approximately 10 blocks from my house, my windows are cracked slightly and i'm pondering all of the things i need to get finished before the end of the week. a large tannish/yellow boat of a car - think old cadillac, buick or other ginormous vehicle pulls up beside me. i don't take much notice of the car but do realize that the man in the passenger seat has a rather large afro.
midway through the wait at the light afro man (AM) rolls down his window and shouts "excuse me", clearly he's talking to me. normally when faced with a complete stranger yelling at me through an open car window in the car next to mine, i would likely feign deafness, stare straight ahead and internally plead for the light to change, but it was a beautiful, sun shiney, not too hot day and i was feeling generous so i rolled down my window and said, "yes?".
AM says "do you know this area well?" and i'm thinking he needs directions so i say "yeh, i live here". AM responds, "well i'd like to follow you home and go bumping in your beetle." and for once in my life instead of being completely annoyed or disgusted, i looked at AM, burst out laughing and said, "yeh, i bet you would," rolled up my window as the light changed and drove away.
i spent a good portion of the next half hour just chuckling to myself about the whole interaction because seriously did AM just try to pick up on me?
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
one friend, two friend, red friend, blue friend
isn't it funny how making one seemingly tiny (or in my case rather large) change in your life starts a cascade of changes and weird things happen or fall into place?
a few weeks ago i took this new job and i don't know if that was the catalyst for all this change or what, but here i am. now, i have a new job, a new cube, i'm moving (in 26 days to somewhere i don't know about yet), i'm going to buy a house, i'm single (again!), yesterday i heard from two different boys i know (i mean that in the manliest sense) - one who i had just met and one i hadn't heard from in years. old boy (OB for short - the one i haven't heard from in years) suddenly connected me with two friends of his (girls) who both moved to portland (separately) within the past year and now i'm going out them this weekend (or maybe early next week)....two seemingly possible new friends.
in the past crazy week, i've had friends rally around me for a million different reasons - to take me to a movie, to drag me out to my "your next phase" dinner (thanks rosie), to look at a million houses online with me (thanks TX Mama and Mom) to talk me off the ledge or tell me stories that are way more important that what's going on in my life and to just generally give me love or offer it up.
it's a reminder that one can never have too many friends. i always say that friends come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. and no matter why you are here or how long you plan to stay, i'm grateful for you each and everyday.
xo.
a few weeks ago i took this new job and i don't know if that was the catalyst for all this change or what, but here i am. now, i have a new job, a new cube, i'm moving (in 26 days to somewhere i don't know about yet), i'm going to buy a house, i'm single (again!), yesterday i heard from two different boys i know (i mean that in the manliest sense) - one who i had just met and one i hadn't heard from in years. old boy (OB for short - the one i haven't heard from in years) suddenly connected me with two friends of his (girls) who both moved to portland (separately) within the past year and now i'm going out them this weekend (or maybe early next week)....two seemingly possible new friends.
in the past crazy week, i've had friends rally around me for a million different reasons - to take me to a movie, to drag me out to my "your next phase" dinner (thanks rosie), to look at a million houses online with me (thanks TX Mama and Mom) to talk me off the ledge or tell me stories that are way more important that what's going on in my life and to just generally give me love or offer it up.
it's a reminder that one can never have too many friends. i always say that friends come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. and no matter why you are here or how long you plan to stay, i'm grateful for you each and everyday.
xo.
Monday, July 24, 2006
waiting for guffman
waiting for guffman is one of my all time favorite movies. i love it because a) i pretty much love any christopher guest movie - he's seriously one of the funniest people i don't know, b) because parker posey always makes me want to pee my pants and c) it's a bunch of crazy adults preparing for a town play, wtf?!
here's the kicker, i think i'm waiting for guffman, you know the film critic who's never going to show up. okay, i'm not starring in a film - i had to drop out of that choir i was performing with because the rehearsal schedule got too intense and the costumes were seriously waaaay too much. but, i'm definitely playing the waiting game. waiting for a realtor to show me a house, waiting to find out if i really, really have to be moved out on August 20, waiting to see if some guy will call me back, waiting for my new boss to tell me what needs to be done, waiting...
what if guffman never shows up? that's the kind of stuff that keeps me awake at night. well that and the heat. i thought it was bad here, turns out i was mistaken. nothing feels better than getting out of a cool shower only to discover sweat running down your back...i'm thankful that it's monday because at least i had an excuse to come to work and bask in the a/c.
here's the kicker, i think i'm waiting for guffman, you know the film critic who's never going to show up. okay, i'm not starring in a film - i had to drop out of that choir i was performing with because the rehearsal schedule got too intense and the costumes were seriously waaaay too much. but, i'm definitely playing the waiting game. waiting for a realtor to show me a house, waiting to find out if i really, really have to be moved out on August 20, waiting to see if some guy will call me back, waiting for my new boss to tell me what needs to be done, waiting...
what if guffman never shows up? that's the kind of stuff that keeps me awake at night. well that and the heat. i thought it was bad here, turns out i was mistaken. nothing feels better than getting out of a cool shower only to discover sweat running down your back...i'm thankful that it's monday because at least i had an excuse to come to work and bask in the a/c.
Thursday, July 20, 2006
moving day
i don't know if i told you (all one of you)that i have a new job. it starts today. i came to work this morning, sat at my same old desk, attended my same old morning meetings and promptly at 10AM shut down my computer and the powers that be came to move all of my work belongings to another location in the building. i'm at my new desk now awaiting instructions for my new job. the next few months are bound to be interesting as i'll be spanning two completely different worlds. i'll still be doing my old job for one of my clients 50% of the time and the other half of my time will be spent in my new job, no longer in the account world. i've never done this before - changed jobs in a company. i always leave and i think i know why. if i'd left, i would've given my 2 weeks notice, turned over my work and started my new job fresh. none of this long transition, my clients don't know i'm leaving stuff. weird.
funny thing is, this isn't the last time i'll be moving in coming months. so much change in my life right now. i'll be posting moving day part deux when i move out of my place. lots o' change...
funny thing is, this isn't the last time i'll be moving in coming months. so much change in my life right now. i'll be posting moving day part deux when i move out of my place. lots o' change...
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
lonely
i feel quiet today. maybe it's melancholy. i like melancholy.
i got home late last night and the questions began. when i arrived at work today they continued. everyone wants to know how things were, what i did, how i felt and it's totally fair. that's what you do when your friends come back from vacation - you ask. but i don't want to talk about it. i cried when i left last night. was really sad to be leaving for some reason. i don't usually cry when i leave anywhere. it's just that i'd had such a glorious time being among so much new and old combined. and now i'm here. a stranger among friends still bathing in the glow of being among people (my mom) who love me unconditionally.
i also used my time away to think. think about what's next and where i'm going and how i'm going to get there. i have decisions to make, i'm a little too lazy (professionals call it ambivalent) to make them. what's next?
#####
the place where i've been living since i moved to PDX sold while i was away. i knew it was coming, just didn't know when and i was banking on that time to help me figure things out about portland. no indication of when i'll need to be out could me a month, could be six but the move isn't just about moving it's about so much else.
this doesn't happen often, but i honestly don't know how to be when i'm lonely among friends...
i got home late last night and the questions began. when i arrived at work today they continued. everyone wants to know how things were, what i did, how i felt and it's totally fair. that's what you do when your friends come back from vacation - you ask. but i don't want to talk about it. i cried when i left last night. was really sad to be leaving for some reason. i don't usually cry when i leave anywhere. it's just that i'd had such a glorious time being among so much new and old combined. and now i'm here. a stranger among friends still bathing in the glow of being among people (my mom) who love me unconditionally.
i also used my time away to think. think about what's next and where i'm going and how i'm going to get there. i have decisions to make, i'm a little too lazy (professionals call it ambivalent) to make them. what's next?
#####
the place where i've been living since i moved to PDX sold while i was away. i knew it was coming, just didn't know when and i was banking on that time to help me figure things out about portland. no indication of when i'll need to be out could me a month, could be six but the move isn't just about moving it's about so much else.
this doesn't happen often, but i honestly don't know how to be when i'm lonely among friends...
Sunday, July 16, 2006
reunion ramblings
i've been out of pocket for the last few days taking a quick jaunt to CO for my high school reunion. Let me preface this by saying that I never, ever thought I would consider attending my high school reunion. I was over high school about 1.5 years before I graduated - couldn't wait to get out of there, move on to the next thing, meet the next people and leave the misery of adolesence and high school behind. So when our class president (who was a great pal in high school - in fact he had a crush on my in junior high which we reminiced about last night) called me out of the blue about a year ago to talk about reunion planning i didn't quite know what to say. i've kept in touch with one person i went to high school with and she occasionally tells me what other people we knew were up to.
in the past year, i've talked to the class pres, Chris, a number of times as he and his wife had there first baby, checking in about this and that - we talk for just a few minutes every few months. so, as the reunion got closer i figured i had absolutely nothing to lose by going to events where i knew nary a soul and just seeing what happened.
imagine my surprise at showing up at the first event friday evening, dreading what might occur and actually ENJOYING myself. connections with people who i haven't seen in 10-12 years, enjoying their company, being awed by their successes, families and achievements. a mixer led to drinks at another bar with 20 or so classmates and a night out until 4:30AM which i probably haven't done since college. reunion events have been jam packed all weekend. i've spent more time with these people in the last 3 days than i did in probably all of high school, made/refound some great new connections and friends. and this afternoon at a late brunch after last night's continued debachery i was sad to say goodbye to them.
here's to pleasant surprises and some new/reestablished friendships.
in the past year, i've talked to the class pres, Chris, a number of times as he and his wife had there first baby, checking in about this and that - we talk for just a few minutes every few months. so, as the reunion got closer i figured i had absolutely nothing to lose by going to events where i knew nary a soul and just seeing what happened.
imagine my surprise at showing up at the first event friday evening, dreading what might occur and actually ENJOYING myself. connections with people who i haven't seen in 10-12 years, enjoying their company, being awed by their successes, families and achievements. a mixer led to drinks at another bar with 20 or so classmates and a night out until 4:30AM which i probably haven't done since college. reunion events have been jam packed all weekend. i've spent more time with these people in the last 3 days than i did in probably all of high school, made/refound some great new connections and friends. and this afternoon at a late brunch after last night's continued debachery i was sad to say goodbye to them.
here's to pleasant surprises and some new/reestablished friendships.
Monday, July 10, 2006
ocean reflections
early friday evening i had my first opportunity to step away from the beach house and immerse myself in the sea air and the sounds of the ocean. i'd somehow missed the girlfriend i was walking down there to meet so grabbed a spot at the top of the dune not far from the surf's edge and managed to contemplate life. i love the ocean, it's part of the reason i moved to the west coast, and i make trips to the water's edge as often as i possibly can. on this night all alone, but surrounded by families and couples and others i was overcome with specific memories of ocean visits. the ocean has provided a back-drop for some fairly significant events in my life...i can only wait in anticipation of what's to come.
#####
it's 2001 and i'd traveled to puerto vallarata with my then live-in boyfriend and my family. i'd figured out days before the trip that he'd intended to propose to me during the trip and i'd also figured out that i didn't want to marry him. the house we stayed in was beautiful, the food divine and my attitude was horrible. i loved spending the time with my family, but i spent the entire trip making sure that there was no opportunity for the proposal to occur. in a nutshell, i was a nightmare to be around. i spent days and nights reflecting, pulling away from my relationship and determining next steps. the return to seattle a week later was the beginning of the end. the ring had indeed made the journey and thankfully never found it's way out of it's travel spot. we determined when we got back that there was nothing left, i didn't love him the way he loved me and a volatile and long-lived break-up ensued. that ocean led to sleeping in separate bedrooms, yelling matches, angry words and tears. sometimes i wonder what would've happened if i just would've made nice and said yes...
#####
two years later - 2003. after spending more than a year being with just me, i'd dated one guy fairly regularly through the winter breaking up when realizing what we had in common wasn't enough to sustain a relationship. memorial day weekend of that year i randomly met a man with whom sparks flashed the moment we met - if there's such a thing as love at first sight this is what i'd guess it's like. he didn't live where i lived and july 4 brought us together in the middle of california on a sunny ocean beach. wine, treats, shared kisses and hopes were the feelings that this ocean brought me and when that ocean-dream came crashing down i sometimes wished i'd just drifted off into the sea.
#####
2004. i'm dating someone new. as a special treat/ getaway we're heading up to the San Juan Islands to spend some time on the island where his dad lives. we spend the weekend hiking, exploring and enjoying the quiet. i discover i love this part of the country, the cold water, the beautiful trees. since then we've shared numerous holidays with friends and family looking out into this ocean. this ocean embraces me when i'm there but also reminds me that it's not truly mine. i'm just a passenger on someone else's ship here.
#####
this weekend, July 2006. i'm sitting at the ocean's edge remembering each of these scenarios. looking out towards the horizon, i see nothing but water and possibilities spread out before me. i feel small. i'm waiting for a sign to push me in one direction or another. i'm not riding on a boat but my life feels like i'm just a small wood raft drifting through life. what does this ocean hold?
turns out it held the girls weekend i needed. laughter, games, movies, beach time and fun. it was a nice diversion from all the things that are distracting me from me right now and coming to work on a monday with pink cheeks is never a bad thing.
#####
it's 2001 and i'd traveled to puerto vallarata with my then live-in boyfriend and my family. i'd figured out days before the trip that he'd intended to propose to me during the trip and i'd also figured out that i didn't want to marry him. the house we stayed in was beautiful, the food divine and my attitude was horrible. i loved spending the time with my family, but i spent the entire trip making sure that there was no opportunity for the proposal to occur. in a nutshell, i was a nightmare to be around. i spent days and nights reflecting, pulling away from my relationship and determining next steps. the return to seattle a week later was the beginning of the end. the ring had indeed made the journey and thankfully never found it's way out of it's travel spot. we determined when we got back that there was nothing left, i didn't love him the way he loved me and a volatile and long-lived break-up ensued. that ocean led to sleeping in separate bedrooms, yelling matches, angry words and tears. sometimes i wonder what would've happened if i just would've made nice and said yes...
#####
two years later - 2003. after spending more than a year being with just me, i'd dated one guy fairly regularly through the winter breaking up when realizing what we had in common wasn't enough to sustain a relationship. memorial day weekend of that year i randomly met a man with whom sparks flashed the moment we met - if there's such a thing as love at first sight this is what i'd guess it's like. he didn't live where i lived and july 4 brought us together in the middle of california on a sunny ocean beach. wine, treats, shared kisses and hopes were the feelings that this ocean brought me and when that ocean-dream came crashing down i sometimes wished i'd just drifted off into the sea.
#####
2004. i'm dating someone new. as a special treat/ getaway we're heading up to the San Juan Islands to spend some time on the island where his dad lives. we spend the weekend hiking, exploring and enjoying the quiet. i discover i love this part of the country, the cold water, the beautiful trees. since then we've shared numerous holidays with friends and family looking out into this ocean. this ocean embraces me when i'm there but also reminds me that it's not truly mine. i'm just a passenger on someone else's ship here.
#####
this weekend, July 2006. i'm sitting at the ocean's edge remembering each of these scenarios. looking out towards the horizon, i see nothing but water and possibilities spread out before me. i feel small. i'm waiting for a sign to push me in one direction or another. i'm not riding on a boat but my life feels like i'm just a small wood raft drifting through life. what does this ocean hold?
turns out it held the girls weekend i needed. laughter, games, movies, beach time and fun. it was a nice diversion from all the things that are distracting me from me right now and coming to work on a monday with pink cheeks is never a bad thing.
Friday, July 07, 2006
on the importance of girlfriends
I never understood/ can never understand the women who say that most of their friends are men. I mean, don't get me wrong, I really do enjoy men (most of the time). I've dated a lot of them, befriended quite a few of them, and spent many late nights pondering their perception of the world, reactions to difficult situations and they way they address life - all so very, very different from women. But those intrinsic differences are the primary reason why I think girlfriends are important. I love to surround myself with beautiful, strong women who can provide me perspective on everything from the latest boy drama, to my career path, to my choice of shoes for a Friday night happy hour. My guy friends are great. I like to use them to gain specific insight into anything male that I don't quite understand. My male friends ask me the questions that can occasionally push my limits and I think they use me more to quell their curiosity on all things female than I ever use them to understand my situation. But it's my female friends that are my role models, my confidantes and my soul mates. My girlfriends are the one's who tell me I'm beautiful and I believe them because I know they don't have an ulterior motive; they take me away from my life when a boy breaks my heart (escaping the country if that's what it takes); they'll go to the coffee shop with me to people watch and be just as snarky as I am; they'll listen to me ramble on and on about the same old story when I'm not yet strong enough to make a decision; and they'll bare their souls to me in the same way I bare mine both of us opening ourselves up to the vulnerability that only two women friends can share. Thank goodness for girlfriends!
This weekend is a "girls weekend". I'm headed to the Oregon coast with a dear friend of mine and some new girl friends as well. I expect time to be consumed with girl talk, girly movies, wine and beach-time.
This weekend is a "girls weekend". I'm headed to the Oregon coast with a dear friend of mine and some new girl friends as well. I expect time to be consumed with girl talk, girly movies, wine and beach-time.
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