last night.
that i was looking out my skylight (btw - i don't really have a skylight) and it was open and suddenly cans of soda started falling from the sky. i was so excited when they first started coming in through the skylight b/c i knew they were coming from airplanes in the sky and i'd never before caught a "falling airplane soda". they came through my windows in all flavors (but all Coke products). i was surprised that so many were falling b/c usually (apparently) only one or two of these fall out of planes at a time.
sometime after gathering numerous sodas it dawned on me that all of the sodas were falling b/c something was terribly wrong with the plane and almost moments later hundreds of passengers (all alive) came falling from the sky wearing parachutes.
bizarre for sure.
i woke up this morning wondering what this stood for. i can tell it's a little warped reality - you know how sometimes the blue ice falls into people homes? but i wondered if i'd had the dream b/c i got some disappointing news yesterday and the sodas represented the excitement (pre-disappointment) and then the realization of what so many falling meant was symbolic of how i really felt about the news - seemingly good thing is bad since something is terribly wrong and people start falling. but what to make of all people alive and falling to the ground in droves wearing parachutes?
what does it all mean?
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
3 glasses of wine
3 glasses of wine apparently liberates me enough to openly cry when my ex-boy's sister says something nice to me AND allows me to gather a captive audience to retell this story as if it's the funniest thing that ever happened.
i took a quick trip to seattle over the weekend to visit my city, a few of my old friends and kick off the holidays. it was a quick trip and i managed to only almost spill my quiche on one person.
i took a quick trip to seattle over the weekend to visit my city, a few of my old friends and kick off the holidays. it was a quick trip and i managed to only almost spill my quiche on one person.
Friday, December 15, 2006
i thought i'd have something
to report today.
last night was the company holiday party and pretty much these things are always recipe for disaster. disaster probably did ensue, but it must've been after i left.
we had stormy, stormy weather in pdx last night - you probably heard about it on your news too. my family called this morning b/c they'd heard all about trees down and power outages and whatnot - i made it to the party despite the weather.
rosie stopped me from ordering a third drink (my first above and beyond the two ticket allotment) and i think that small gesture is what saved me from having a story to tell today.
instead, i left at a proper 10:30 and was in my bed at 11. no-kool aid for me at this company party.
enjoy your weekend, readers. i'll try to do something suitably ridiculous this weekend just so you'll have something to chuckle about (likely you'll just be glad that you weren't with me or didn't take me there) on monday.
xo.
last night was the company holiday party and pretty much these things are always recipe for disaster. disaster probably did ensue, but it must've been after i left.
we had stormy, stormy weather in pdx last night - you probably heard about it on your news too. my family called this morning b/c they'd heard all about trees down and power outages and whatnot - i made it to the party despite the weather.
rosie stopped me from ordering a third drink (my first above and beyond the two ticket allotment) and i think that small gesture is what saved me from having a story to tell today.
instead, i left at a proper 10:30 and was in my bed at 11. no-kool aid for me at this company party.
enjoy your weekend, readers. i'll try to do something suitably ridiculous this weekend just so you'll have something to chuckle about (likely you'll just be glad that you weren't with me or didn't take me there) on monday.
xo.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
last night i...
fell off the elliptical machine at the gym in what may have been one of my funniest moments this month!
i'm not exactly sure what happened other than the fact that i hopped up on that machine ready to take it by storm and somehow lost my balance and fell right off. the worst part about it was that no one acknowledged that it happened. normally, i would be happy that no one acknowledged my embarrassing moment b/c that would mean no one would have seen it, but there is no way that this went unnoticed! when i was laughing out loud about the whole thing, it would've been wholly appropriate for someone to laugh with me.
in the end everything was fine and i was forced to work out with extra vigor to compensate for my embarrassment so i guess that's good.
it's way better than my freak gym accident of 2005 when i somehow dropped my iPod shuffle and it hit my foot only to get lost in the treadmill forever (seriously they took the treadmill apart and never found that sucker).
officially, reason 34958 why you can't take me anywhere.
i'm not exactly sure what happened other than the fact that i hopped up on that machine ready to take it by storm and somehow lost my balance and fell right off. the worst part about it was that no one acknowledged that it happened. normally, i would be happy that no one acknowledged my embarrassing moment b/c that would mean no one would have seen it, but there is no way that this went unnoticed! when i was laughing out loud about the whole thing, it would've been wholly appropriate for someone to laugh with me.
in the end everything was fine and i was forced to work out with extra vigor to compensate for my embarrassment so i guess that's good.
it's way better than my freak gym accident of 2005 when i somehow dropped my iPod shuffle and it hit my foot only to get lost in the treadmill forever (seriously they took the treadmill apart and never found that sucker).
officially, reason 34958 why you can't take me anywhere.
Friday, December 08, 2006
bathroom pet peeves: part 3
when i posted about bathroom pet peeves (here and here), i seriously had no idea that this would become the most common thread on my entire blog - seriously who am i?
but ladies, today you brought this to my attention:
i understand the need for the little paper toilet seat covers, in fact, i quite like them. i like how when i use them i don't feel like my butt is sharing a space with every other female butt in my office/ public space. somehow, that makes me feel a little bit cleaner in the public restroom.
but ladies, after you finish using the paper toilet seat cover, please make sure it flushes down the toilet when you flush. because seriously, when i open the stall door and see the used paper toilet seat cover with your butt print on it, that actually grosses me out more than if i'd just had to sit on the seat without the cover at all. (at least then there wouldn't be hard evidence that your ass had been there.)
thankyouverymuch.
but ladies, today you brought this to my attention:
i understand the need for the little paper toilet seat covers, in fact, i quite like them. i like how when i use them i don't feel like my butt is sharing a space with every other female butt in my office/ public space. somehow, that makes me feel a little bit cleaner in the public restroom.
but ladies, after you finish using the paper toilet seat cover, please make sure it flushes down the toilet when you flush. because seriously, when i open the stall door and see the used paper toilet seat cover with your butt print on it, that actually grosses me out more than if i'd just had to sit on the seat without the cover at all. (at least then there wouldn't be hard evidence that your ass had been there.)
thankyouverymuch.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
we kind of knew this was coming...
by we, i mean you and me, readers...i've actually been holding off posting this week because i had a feeling...
last night i went to have dinner with some people i'd never met before (not a single one of them); the most i'd done was emailed with one to find out the date/time of our dinner.
confession: i answered a craigslist ad about an upscale dinner group. i belonged to one in seattle (not from craigslist) and it was a favorite activity - i'd really been missing it since the great pdx migration.
i almost didn't go. honestly, because i didn't know one thing about these people except that a few of them were friends - they could've been 15 or 50, any sort of political, religious or other type of affiliation and because i always, always have to psych myself up when i go to meet new people - it had been a long day.
i arrived at le pigeon just a few minutes late and was met by a table full of very charming people of varying ages (a nice mix for sure). there were only two new people and for some reason the people thought my profession was very interesting so they were asking me a lot of questions, but then...then something happened and i just couldn't shut up and i was talking and talking and talking and well, some of you might know that i like to talk but i usually try to shield people from my detailed stories and endless babble until they've met me a few times.
at one point one of the women asked me why i joined or something and i honestly started my reply with "well, i really like to talk..." meanwhile in my head i'm thinking shut up, shut up shut up, stop being that girl.
in the end i couldn't help myself and pretty much chatted non-stop for the entire meal - we'll see if they ever invite me back.
but, c'mon me? in that situation? i think we kind of knew this might happen...
PS - if you are ever in pdx, totally go to le pigeon but bring a friend and sit at the bar. i'd say it's a must...
last night i went to have dinner with some people i'd never met before (not a single one of them); the most i'd done was emailed with one to find out the date/time of our dinner.
confession: i answered a craigslist ad about an upscale dinner group. i belonged to one in seattle (not from craigslist) and it was a favorite activity - i'd really been missing it since the great pdx migration.
i almost didn't go. honestly, because i didn't know one thing about these people except that a few of them were friends - they could've been 15 or 50, any sort of political, religious or other type of affiliation and because i always, always have to psych myself up when i go to meet new people - it had been a long day.
i arrived at le pigeon just a few minutes late and was met by a table full of very charming people of varying ages (a nice mix for sure). there were only two new people and for some reason the people thought my profession was very interesting so they were asking me a lot of questions, but then...then something happened and i just couldn't shut up and i was talking and talking and talking and well, some of you might know that i like to talk but i usually try to shield people from my detailed stories and endless babble until they've met me a few times.
at one point one of the women asked me why i joined or something and i honestly started my reply with "well, i really like to talk..." meanwhile in my head i'm thinking shut up, shut up shut up, stop being that girl.
in the end i couldn't help myself and pretty much chatted non-stop for the entire meal - we'll see if they ever invite me back.
but, c'mon me? in that situation? i think we kind of knew this might happen...
PS - if you are ever in pdx, totally go to le pigeon but bring a friend and sit at the bar. i'd say it's a must...
Monday, December 04, 2006
i think santa might have the flu
seriously, because that's about the only explanation for why huge portions of my neighborhood now look like santa threw up on the houses.
friday night i went to grab a glass of wine with a friend and was completely caught off guard by the scene i witnessed just a few doors down from the swanky neighborhood wine bar. (please note: i've yet to capture this scene on film, but i doubt my photography skills will do it justice). wine bar's neighbors have filled every inch of their gigantic pdx porch with various different stuffed animals dressed in santa hats and other holiday garb hanging from swings. the portions of the porch not covered with swinging stuffed toys has been decorated with lights and other holiday "decorations". this house is a horrible cross between some f'd up version of moulin rouge (the one with nicole kidman) and santa's sick and twisted stuffed animal workshop. please for the sake of all of my neighbors this holiday season, take down the bears!
the other spot where santa apparently stopped to upchuck is a beautiful and giant house just two blocks from my own. last weekend their decorations were tasteful and appropriate for the size and stature of their home - this weekend, not so much. they've managed to cover every spare inch of every porch with those humongous light-up packages. it's just plain too much, but from what i know about santa from all those holiday movies, i think he likes these things. maybe these folks will get far more presents than i this year.
santa just had a teeny tiny accident in my house this weekend. i supported my local high school booster club and bought a tree from the kids. you would have loved seeing me drag it home from their lot and up the stairs to the condo. i managed to get it all set-up in it's little tree stand and decorated. along with some holiday smelling candles and a couple other holiday items in the home, that's about as sick as santa's allowed to get at my house.
welcome to december - the countdown's on!
friday night i went to grab a glass of wine with a friend and was completely caught off guard by the scene i witnessed just a few doors down from the swanky neighborhood wine bar. (please note: i've yet to capture this scene on film, but i doubt my photography skills will do it justice). wine bar's neighbors have filled every inch of their gigantic pdx porch with various different stuffed animals dressed in santa hats and other holiday garb hanging from swings. the portions of the porch not covered with swinging stuffed toys has been decorated with lights and other holiday "decorations". this house is a horrible cross between some f'd up version of moulin rouge (the one with nicole kidman) and santa's sick and twisted stuffed animal workshop. please for the sake of all of my neighbors this holiday season, take down the bears!
the other spot where santa apparently stopped to upchuck is a beautiful and giant house just two blocks from my own. last weekend their decorations were tasteful and appropriate for the size and stature of their home - this weekend, not so much. they've managed to cover every spare inch of every porch with those humongous light-up packages. it's just plain too much, but from what i know about santa from all those holiday movies, i think he likes these things. maybe these folks will get far more presents than i this year.
santa just had a teeny tiny accident in my house this weekend. i supported my local high school booster club and bought a tree from the kids. you would have loved seeing me drag it home from their lot and up the stairs to the condo. i managed to get it all set-up in it's little tree stand and decorated. along with some holiday smelling candles and a couple other holiday items in the home, that's about as sick as santa's allowed to get at my house.
welcome to december - the countdown's on!
Thursday, November 30, 2006
it was your typical wednesday...
right up to the point where somehow a little bit of spit (spittle? or spit? is spittle for grandparents and spit for the rest of us?) flew out of my mouth and into the mouth of a co-worker as i was expressing my excitement over birthday cupcakes. ew! (note: we were several feet away so on another level this demostrates the projectile potential of my mouth or something...)
anyway, just call me miss manners....
anyway, just call me miss manners....
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
portland is pretty (& also a story)
it snowed off and on all day yesterday in the great pdx. at moments you could hardly see out the window and last night driving home i got caught in a brief blizzard where signs suddenly disappeared (this and the possible freezing temps gave me just enough push to forgo the gym and cozy into my house).
i expected to wake up this morning to icy roads and the recommendation to stay home from work (i even took my computer home in anticipation. well that, and the fact that they recommend that we take our computers home every night in the winter b/c you just never know...funny, really). alas, some snow and frost on my car and many school closures, but a regular work day for me. it was seattle who got lucky this time...here's hoping for pdx ice storm of 2006 (but only after i am home in my warm slippers).
#####
and now for a fun/disasterous dating story...b/c i haven't shared a good one in awhile. frequent commenter, coho, will remember this one as this is from the days when we were like peanut butter and jelly and she had to live through the recounts of a ton of these (although let's be honest, she brought plenty of her own dating disasters to the table).
oh, and also, this is the part where i reveal that i am an evil, evil woman...
it took me a minute to remember where i even met this guy, over the top dater (OTTD), but everything has just come back to me.
it was my friend travis' b-day and his boyfriend always threw some kind of wild party for him - this particular year was no exception. (incidentally, it just so happens to be T's b-day today and though i haven't spoken to him in a couple years i'll throw him a virtual happy b-day!) coho and i had gotten all dolled up to join in on the festivities at a local, but swanky new, bar. OTTD was a friend of a friend of a friend or something and in a nutshell basically no one anyone we knew knew him so when he kind of latched onto me early in the night i turned to coho and said, "let's see how long it takes for this guy to ask for my number." (see, me? mean.)
it didn't take OTTD long and being the seasoned dater that i was, i simply handed him my business card expecting never to see him again (b/c honestly, that's how these things work - seriously). but you see, that's the part where i didn't know OTTD was OTTD b/c if i had known that about him then, i would've clammed up and never given the guy my card just to avoid this scenario.
OTTD called me at work the very next day wanting to know when we could get together. i stalled and stalled and finally agreed to meet him, for coffee, in a very busy location near his workplace. (this is a good time to call out that he worked for the company where coho now works and they also sometimes pay my bills. coho - you running into that guy ever?).
date day comes and i drive to meet him directly from work (see this all sounds pretty nice and innocent right now, eh?). when i first spot him i'm surprised to discover that a man who i know works for a company with a dress code of jeans, is wearing khakis and a jacket - this should've been my first clue. OTTD gives me a quick hug and suggests we go to dinner in lieu of coffee, i agree and we walk to a nearby thai restaurant. we sit down for what i assume will be a slightly awkward, but overall pleasant dinner and it did start out that way right up to the point where OTTD reaches into his suit jacket pocket (proposal style) and pull out a jewelry box. my initial reaction of wtf is sent through the roof when i open it up to find a silver necklace with flower charm a) not my style, but how would OTTD know that - he just met me and b) really, honestly too much for a first non-date, date - we were meeting for coffee for crying out loud!!!
OTTD then tells me that his mother told him to always bring a girl flowers, but he thought this would last much longer (gag!). i tell him it's lovely (what else am i to do?) but that i can't wear it right now as the neckline of my sweater doesn't allow for accessories (that's a line if i ever heard one).
now, i might have survived and not even written about this story if that had been the end of it. (wait! who am i kidding, it was still way too much), but when OTTD insisted on paying for dinner, walking me to my car and pushing past my handshake for a hug he'd already made it to my worst date hall of fame. the whole store got worse when the next day, at work, i got 5 phone calls and the largest and fanciest bouquet of flowers i have ever received in my entire life - needless to say OTTD went racing straight to the top of the too much and a little scary dates.
long story short, i had to call this guy (after one non-date, date!) and tell him that it just wasn't working. seriously, scary!
one closing note, over the years, many friends have pointed out that had i actually been attracted to this guy that i would've been thrilled with the gifts and calls and flowers and maybe that is the case. i guess that's the part that is the most scary about the dating - one man's OTTD is another man's treasure (that's the saying, right?)
oh, and the necklace? i ended up taking it to the store where it was purchased and exchanging it for something that was a bit more me. sometimes i still wear it.
i expected to wake up this morning to icy roads and the recommendation to stay home from work (i even took my computer home in anticipation. well that, and the fact that they recommend that we take our computers home every night in the winter b/c you just never know...funny, really). alas, some snow and frost on my car and many school closures, but a regular work day for me. it was seattle who got lucky this time...here's hoping for pdx ice storm of 2006 (but only after i am home in my warm slippers).
#####
and now for a fun/disasterous dating story...b/c i haven't shared a good one in awhile. frequent commenter, coho, will remember this one as this is from the days when we were like peanut butter and jelly and she had to live through the recounts of a ton of these (although let's be honest, she brought plenty of her own dating disasters to the table).
oh, and also, this is the part where i reveal that i am an evil, evil woman...
it took me a minute to remember where i even met this guy, over the top dater (OTTD), but everything has just come back to me.
it was my friend travis' b-day and his boyfriend always threw some kind of wild party for him - this particular year was no exception. (incidentally, it just so happens to be T's b-day today and though i haven't spoken to him in a couple years i'll throw him a virtual happy b-day!) coho and i had gotten all dolled up to join in on the festivities at a local, but swanky new, bar. OTTD was a friend of a friend of a friend or something and in a nutshell basically no one anyone we knew knew him so when he kind of latched onto me early in the night i turned to coho and said, "let's see how long it takes for this guy to ask for my number." (see, me? mean.)
it didn't take OTTD long and being the seasoned dater that i was, i simply handed him my business card expecting never to see him again (b/c honestly, that's how these things work - seriously). but you see, that's the part where i didn't know OTTD was OTTD b/c if i had known that about him then, i would've clammed up and never given the guy my card just to avoid this scenario.
OTTD called me at work the very next day wanting to know when we could get together. i stalled and stalled and finally agreed to meet him, for coffee, in a very busy location near his workplace. (this is a good time to call out that he worked for the company where coho now works and they also sometimes pay my bills. coho - you running into that guy ever?).
date day comes and i drive to meet him directly from work (see this all sounds pretty nice and innocent right now, eh?). when i first spot him i'm surprised to discover that a man who i know works for a company with a dress code of jeans, is wearing khakis and a jacket - this should've been my first clue. OTTD gives me a quick hug and suggests we go to dinner in lieu of coffee, i agree and we walk to a nearby thai restaurant. we sit down for what i assume will be a slightly awkward, but overall pleasant dinner and it did start out that way right up to the point where OTTD reaches into his suit jacket pocket (proposal style) and pull out a jewelry box. my initial reaction of wtf is sent through the roof when i open it up to find a silver necklace with flower charm a) not my style, but how would OTTD know that - he just met me and b) really, honestly too much for a first non-date, date - we were meeting for coffee for crying out loud!!!
OTTD then tells me that his mother told him to always bring a girl flowers, but he thought this would last much longer (gag!). i tell him it's lovely (what else am i to do?) but that i can't wear it right now as the neckline of my sweater doesn't allow for accessories (that's a line if i ever heard one).
now, i might have survived and not even written about this story if that had been the end of it. (wait! who am i kidding, it was still way too much), but when OTTD insisted on paying for dinner, walking me to my car and pushing past my handshake for a hug he'd already made it to my worst date hall of fame. the whole store got worse when the next day, at work, i got 5 phone calls and the largest and fanciest bouquet of flowers i have ever received in my entire life - needless to say OTTD went racing straight to the top of the too much and a little scary dates.
long story short, i had to call this guy (after one non-date, date!) and tell him that it just wasn't working. seriously, scary!
one closing note, over the years, many friends have pointed out that had i actually been attracted to this guy that i would've been thrilled with the gifts and calls and flowers and maybe that is the case. i guess that's the part that is the most scary about the dating - one man's OTTD is another man's treasure (that's the saying, right?)
oh, and the necklace? i ended up taking it to the store where it was purchased and exchanging it for something that was a bit more me. sometimes i still wear it.
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
of note...
through all the bad dates and serious relationships and things of that nature over the past few years, i seem to have lost my game (whatever game i may have had at some point in my life). take this snapshot from earlier this week:
just for background (and the record). i am not hot gym girl - never have been, never will be. i'm sweaty, trying to loose a few pounds, but mostly hoping to just tone, lots of clothes to cover up my legs which i don't so much like gym girl. i don't wear tiny tank tops or short shorts and no one EVER talks to me at the gym (unless they are my trainer in which case, much like the sorority, it was because i paid them to talk to me - haha!)
at any rate, the other night i was at the gym lifting some weights and generally beefing up my tough-o-meter when hot gym guy (HGG) starts using a machine right next to were i'm working on the ole biceps. out of the blue HGG turns to me and says "i didn't take your machine did i?".
me: "no, because if you did i would beat you up." (me making punching motions with my hands)
HGG: "phew, well i'm glad that didn't happen."
note: here's the part where if you were me you maybe would've said something witty back.
me: "yeah, because i'm tough." and then...i promptly finished my set and walked away.
way to go self, way to go.
#####
this smooth move concludes the scheduled postings for this week. you may hear more depending on how things go on the big day (turkey day, sillies), but here's wishing all No Kool-Aid Here readers a Happy Thanksgiving.
just for background (and the record). i am not hot gym girl - never have been, never will be. i'm sweaty, trying to loose a few pounds, but mostly hoping to just tone, lots of clothes to cover up my legs which i don't so much like gym girl. i don't wear tiny tank tops or short shorts and no one EVER talks to me at the gym (unless they are my trainer in which case, much like the sorority, it was because i paid them to talk to me - haha!)
at any rate, the other night i was at the gym lifting some weights and generally beefing up my tough-o-meter when hot gym guy (HGG) starts using a machine right next to were i'm working on the ole biceps. out of the blue HGG turns to me and says "i didn't take your machine did i?".
me: "no, because if you did i would beat you up." (me making punching motions with my hands)
HGG: "phew, well i'm glad that didn't happen."
note: here's the part where if you were me you maybe would've said something witty back.
me: "yeah, because i'm tough." and then...i promptly finished my set and walked away.
way to go self, way to go.
#####
this smooth move concludes the scheduled postings for this week. you may hear more depending on how things go on the big day (turkey day, sillies), but here's wishing all No Kool-Aid Here readers a Happy Thanksgiving.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
a thanks for something
it's turkey week! (or thanksgiving week for most of you).
me tearing it up until 5AM (whoops!) also i apparently have no chin when dancing
drinking beer munich style (you have to rest that stein on your wrist b/c it's so heavy)
munich view from the clock tower
munich likes lions like every other city has had it's fun
i'm in a bit of a weird spot this year. i know, i know me in a weird spot? never... but this year for the turkey time i belong neither here nor there, just somewhere in the middle. i have had three different people ask me what's wrong with me this week. and honestly, i don't think anything but maybe something. we'll call it holidays.
since i'm not big on the mushy give thanks posts, i thought i'd share some pics from my trip to germany and thank that country for a glorious kick off to November.
me tearing it up until 5AM (whoops!) also i apparently have no chin when dancing
drinking beer munich style (you have to rest that stein on your wrist b/c it's so heavy)
munich view from the clock tower
munich likes lions like every other city has had it's fun
Thursday, November 16, 2006
um, hi, apparently i'm "that" girl
the votes are in and apparently i am now "that" girl, the one that you maybe don't want to take to functions where your grandmother or very conservative parents will be because i'm, um maybe sort of unpredictable and you just never know what's going to come shooting out of my mouth. ugh!
yesterday, i attended the work baby showers of two friends/colleagues and not because, but maybe a little bit because of the fact i'm neither married nor have children the following completely inappropriate things came out of my mouth (in front of women i'd never met, some i've known for a while, and some small babies):
1. "I'd totally do him!" - in response to someone mentioning that George Clooney had once again been voted the sexiest man alive.
2. "I bet the first thing you thought of was that Sex and the City episode where Samantha or someone says, 'no one needs a penis with a carrying case!'" - in response to one woman sharing why she'd decided to circumcise her child.
3. I said a few other choice things, that have currently slipped my mind (which, in the interest of full disclosure, or lack thereof, is maybe a good thing), in response to various gifts opened - egad! who am i?
However, i'd like to note that one of my dear friends (whom many of you know), also in the room made the following comment about a very large bib that was gifted. "I have a great idea why don't you dress your baby up in that humongous thing and nothing else."
Perhaps this is why we are both single and childless...
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
phew! i'm glad we got that out of the way
in an effort to avoid dealing/posting with/about my year of decline with a few bright spots (aka 2006), i wanted to share some really fantastic news with you all.
while i was away, my office has been transformed. transformed into a winter safety and health conscious wonderland. here are some of my great findings:
while i was away, my office has been transformed. transformed into a winter safety and health conscious wonderland. here are some of my great findings:
- even though some of my co-workers have questionable bathroom habits and i've witnessed the lack of hand washing, posters are now at every bathroom entrance and in every stall suggesting that you cover your mouth when coughing and then promptly wash or sanitize your hands. A few comments: one, are we really only concerned about this now? two, are we adults, really unsure of what do do when we feel a cough coming on? three, if we are going to post this, maybe we could also post some step-by-step instructions on how to wipe one's own rear?
- our building management has also posted some signs throughout the building on winter safety including the recommendation that we no longer park under trees (in case you didn't hear, the NW has had horrible rains in the past week and trees have fallen down cutting power and causing other issues). my main comment to that is: "gee, thanks for the suggestion. just one thing to note, we have trees throughout our entire parking lot and my guess is that there are one, maybe two parking spaces that are not near trees. everyday 98% of the spaces are filled with cars so i don't really have a lot of options to park 'away' from trees as you so kindly suggest."
I'm sure there are several other gems, but those are the top two. phew! i don't know what i would've done without the guidance - thanks all!
Monday, November 13, 2006
it's the same thing in any language
caveat: i just returned to the states from germany yesterday and jet lag has hit me hard and heavy, but i knew my readers were waiting....
seriously, the mating dance (literally in this case) is truly the same in any language. take this snapshot, for instance:
last week after finishing the work portion of my german excursion some colleagues and i decided to go out for a celebratory dinner. we went to a delicious french restaurant (in germany) where we drank german champagne, ate some delicious food and downed several bottles of wine. honestly, we were in a good place when we left the restaurant. after dinner we decided to meet up with some other colleagues at a nearby cuban bar for some additional beverages and i maybe had the biggest vodka soda i've ever had (think beer stein of vodka with a splash of coke) and then maybe had one more drink after that so when said colleagues suggested we go to a club to meet up with yet more colleagues, it seemed like the perfect idea. (note: i was out until nearly 5AM which has last happened....um, NEVER!)
at any rate, approximately 30 minutes after our arrival i was tearing it up on the dance floor when some german? belgian? some non-English speaking fellow starts grinding on me. and at first i'm tipsy enough to think it's pretty funny and a bit flattering, but when he reaches over to unbutton my sweater, i grab two of my guy friends and beg them to save me, because seriously, wtf?!?! throughout the entire night i cannot get rid of this guy no matter how many other men i dance with and how often i turn away from him. and at the end of the night when i'm sitting on the couch waiting for friends to close out bills and whatnot, the guy's standing there by the door with his coat on perhaps thinking that he's coming home with me. but here's the thing, he's not. and other than dancing with him at the beginning, i did nothing to give this man the impression that he would be.
a cold shoulder, a quick chat with my male colleague and some comments later and the guy finally takes off. now i realize we'd all been drinking and dancing and whatnot, but what gives men the right to assume that a few dances equals an invitation to come home?
i guess the good news is that it makes no difference where you are, some liquor and and a heavy dance beat seems to present men with the idea that they have a license to conquer women and being conquered is one thing i don't need.
i'll stand on my own thanks.
#####
more thoughts on my german adventures to come - just as soon as these cobwebs exit my head.
seriously, the mating dance (literally in this case) is truly the same in any language. take this snapshot, for instance:
last week after finishing the work portion of my german excursion some colleagues and i decided to go out for a celebratory dinner. we went to a delicious french restaurant (in germany) where we drank german champagne, ate some delicious food and downed several bottles of wine. honestly, we were in a good place when we left the restaurant. after dinner we decided to meet up with some other colleagues at a nearby cuban bar for some additional beverages and i maybe had the biggest vodka soda i've ever had (think beer stein of vodka with a splash of coke) and then maybe had one more drink after that so when said colleagues suggested we go to a club to meet up with yet more colleagues, it seemed like the perfect idea. (note: i was out until nearly 5AM which has last happened....um, NEVER!)
at any rate, approximately 30 minutes after our arrival i was tearing it up on the dance floor when some german? belgian? some non-English speaking fellow starts grinding on me. and at first i'm tipsy enough to think it's pretty funny and a bit flattering, but when he reaches over to unbutton my sweater, i grab two of my guy friends and beg them to save me, because seriously, wtf?!?! throughout the entire night i cannot get rid of this guy no matter how many other men i dance with and how often i turn away from him. and at the end of the night when i'm sitting on the couch waiting for friends to close out bills and whatnot, the guy's standing there by the door with his coat on perhaps thinking that he's coming home with me. but here's the thing, he's not. and other than dancing with him at the beginning, i did nothing to give this man the impression that he would be.
a cold shoulder, a quick chat with my male colleague and some comments later and the guy finally takes off. now i realize we'd all been drinking and dancing and whatnot, but what gives men the right to assume that a few dances equals an invitation to come home?
i guess the good news is that it makes no difference where you are, some liquor and and a heavy dance beat seems to present men with the idea that they have a license to conquer women and being conquered is one thing i don't need.
i'll stand on my own thanks.
#####
more thoughts on my german adventures to come - just as soon as these cobwebs exit my head.
Monday, October 30, 2006
ready for new
october's been a hard month for me both professionally and personally.
professionally, i've been challenged in both good and bad ways, have been stretched to my limits, practiced working on no sleep (again!) and produced amazing results. this month i've cried about my job, i've been praised by people who didn't know my name six weeks ago and i've been given many, many things to think about in regards to my future career.
personally, i've cried more in this month than i can probably ever remember having cried. i've had to say goodbye to two pets, physically hurt myself (a fall at work resulting in a wrist injury), and mourned the loss of those who were once my closest mates.
it's been a rough month and i'm ready for november - a fresh month, a flip of the calendar page, a different perspective.
with that said, i'm leaving the country for 9 days at the end of the week (primarily for work, but a little for fun) - the housesitter's all geared up, reservations made, bicycles and books and cafes waiting.
you likely won't hear from me until the next month has begun - i can't bear to have to talk anymore about october.
professionally, i've been challenged in both good and bad ways, have been stretched to my limits, practiced working on no sleep (again!) and produced amazing results. this month i've cried about my job, i've been praised by people who didn't know my name six weeks ago and i've been given many, many things to think about in regards to my future career.
personally, i've cried more in this month than i can probably ever remember having cried. i've had to say goodbye to two pets, physically hurt myself (a fall at work resulting in a wrist injury), and mourned the loss of those who were once my closest mates.
it's been a rough month and i'm ready for november - a fresh month, a flip of the calendar page, a different perspective.
with that said, i'm leaving the country for 9 days at the end of the week (primarily for work, but a little for fun) - the housesitter's all geared up, reservations made, bicycles and books and cafes waiting.
you likely won't hear from me until the next month has begun - i can't bear to have to talk anymore about october.
Thursday, October 26, 2006
this just in...
i'm my own worst enemy and also apparently quite a klutz.
i came into work a little late this morning as i was having some work done on my house. nevermind that i just spent 5 minutes in the parking lot fixing my make-up b/c i was on the phone crying about something and didn't want to be that girl when i walk into the office.
luckily, in order to counter my slightly less than perfect make-up, i'm rocking this great pair of cuffed pinstriped trousers and some stilettos or at least that's what i think. right up to the part where my heel somehow gets caught in my cuff and next thing i know i'm sprawled out on the floor, my lunchtime broccoli and carrots busted out of their sack and scattered about the floor next to a now very, very bruised pear all of which have flown out of my bag. i've skinned my knee and hurt my wrist, but thankfully no one saw me and i didn't just flat out rip the seam of my pants (it was that kind of fall).
i get up, my wrist throbbing, and laugh out loud for the first time today.
ten minutes later when i head to the kitchen to fill my coffee mug there are still tiny bits of broccoli on the carpet - no one knows my secret...
i may be a klutz, but at least i entertain myself.
i came into work a little late this morning as i was having some work done on my house. nevermind that i just spent 5 minutes in the parking lot fixing my make-up b/c i was on the phone crying about something and didn't want to be that girl when i walk into the office.
luckily, in order to counter my slightly less than perfect make-up, i'm rocking this great pair of cuffed pinstriped trousers and some stilettos or at least that's what i think. right up to the part where my heel somehow gets caught in my cuff and next thing i know i'm sprawled out on the floor, my lunchtime broccoli and carrots busted out of their sack and scattered about the floor next to a now very, very bruised pear all of which have flown out of my bag. i've skinned my knee and hurt my wrist, but thankfully no one saw me and i didn't just flat out rip the seam of my pants (it was that kind of fall).
i get up, my wrist throbbing, and laugh out loud for the first time today.
ten minutes later when i head to the kitchen to fill my coffee mug there are still tiny bits of broccoli on the carpet - no one knows my secret...
i may be a klutz, but at least i entertain myself.
Monday, October 23, 2006
bathroom pet peeves cont.
ladies, ladies, ladies. apparently my first post wasn't enough to help you understand how to navigate the women's restroom so we're back, for round 2.
ladies, i realize sometimes you might run into a friend in our company's restroom and i get that it's monday morning and you maybe haven't seen or heard from this co-worker friend since last friday. and i get that that is approximately 3 days and that there might be loads and loads of things to catch up on - how the weekend was, what cute thing your kid accomplished, how that date went, etc., etc. but there is NO NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS IN THE RESTROOM!!!! step outside and away from the flushing toilets ladies, we have a nice patio, great hallways, a starbucks within walking distance - you've got options.
and also then? then, i don't have to go pee while listening to your conversation.
thanks.
ladies, i realize sometimes you might run into a friend in our company's restroom and i get that it's monday morning and you maybe haven't seen or heard from this co-worker friend since last friday. and i get that that is approximately 3 days and that there might be loads and loads of things to catch up on - how the weekend was, what cute thing your kid accomplished, how that date went, etc., etc. but there is NO NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS IN THE RESTROOM!!!! step outside and away from the flushing toilets ladies, we have a nice patio, great hallways, a starbucks within walking distance - you've got options.
and also then? then, i don't have to go pee while listening to your conversation.
thanks.
Sunday, October 22, 2006
now here's something we can work with
the post i started a few weeks ago before the madness i call work set in.
i spend a lot of time focusing on what doesn't work in the dating world, specifically what hasn't worked for me so i thought i'd share a bit of positive feedback just so you all know that it isn't all bad.
#####
in 1999 i moved to remote wyoming (40 miles from anywhere, but very close to yellowstone national park. and by anywhere i mean cody, wyoming where the biggest thing is wal-mart) to manage a guest ranch, the UXU Ranch. i had initially pursued the opportunity as part of a requirement for my bachelor's degree and was looking forward to getting away from some of the drama that was my life. looking back on my time there now i'd classify it as one of the happiest times in my life. the serenity of the location, the lack of focus on anything material, my removal from the craziness of day to day news and updates and everything led to extreme loneliness that later gave way to happiness as i grew to truly know myself and be comfortable with quiet and alone. i was a different person when i came back from that adventure and i'm glad for all that it offered me.
but there's another part to that UXU Ranch story and that involves the boys that i dated while living in that remote location. cody isn't exactly a mecca for bachelors and living 40 miles outside of cody meant that pickings were very very slim. i was lucky enough to meet SW on my second night on the ranch. SW was a cowboy, a rangler on the ranch. a tall skinny man with kind eyes and tight jeans. he wooed me in ways that you only read about in books and see in shows like "little house on the prairie" with things like bouquets of wildflowers and poems and music. he also wowed me with his strength and drive. SW was a bullrider and a pretty good one at that. he spent time teaching me about the world of rodeo and all things that go with being that type of athlete. i watched him ride a few times and the ladies hung on his every move. i was proud to know him. (for those of you who know me now in my power suit wearing, money spending clothes habit with a list a mile long of all things that don't equal cowboy, i'm sure you're scratching your heads about now).
i fell in love with SW in the only way a twenty something year old girl who's removed from everything she knows and is overcome by the beauty of her surroundings can and i pursued that love to the best of my ability (while it lasted). unfortunately, SW made a rather dramatic exit to head back home to big cabin, oklahoma and left me crying with nothing but some bull riding numbers, a cowboy hat and the wait for phone calls and letters - they were interesting times to say the least. for some time after, SW and i continued our relationship via phone and handwritten letters but after he left the ranch i knew we were never going to make it. he wanted me to move home to big cabin to buy a house next door to his parents so that i could raise children i wasn't even sure i wanted. his life and mine only meshed in the world that was known as wyoming - there was nothing else.
but the real reason i bring SW up as one of the good times is because of a letter i found of his when unpacking in my new home. for SW had/has written me the most sincere and gentle words i've ever had from any man i've dated and that's why his story appears here. from a letter by SW:
"You are my ambition and strength to get up every day and become a man so I can push myself for a better life. Please God I hope I never fail."
if that doesn't get under a girl's skin, i don't know what does. thanks SW wherever you are - i hope you found happiness.
i spend a lot of time focusing on what doesn't work in the dating world, specifically what hasn't worked for me so i thought i'd share a bit of positive feedback just so you all know that it isn't all bad.
#####
in 1999 i moved to remote wyoming (40 miles from anywhere, but very close to yellowstone national park. and by anywhere i mean cody, wyoming where the biggest thing is wal-mart) to manage a guest ranch, the UXU Ranch. i had initially pursued the opportunity as part of a requirement for my bachelor's degree and was looking forward to getting away from some of the drama that was my life. looking back on my time there now i'd classify it as one of the happiest times in my life. the serenity of the location, the lack of focus on anything material, my removal from the craziness of day to day news and updates and everything led to extreme loneliness that later gave way to happiness as i grew to truly know myself and be comfortable with quiet and alone. i was a different person when i came back from that adventure and i'm glad for all that it offered me.
but there's another part to that UXU Ranch story and that involves the boys that i dated while living in that remote location. cody isn't exactly a mecca for bachelors and living 40 miles outside of cody meant that pickings were very very slim. i was lucky enough to meet SW on my second night on the ranch. SW was a cowboy, a rangler on the ranch. a tall skinny man with kind eyes and tight jeans. he wooed me in ways that you only read about in books and see in shows like "little house on the prairie" with things like bouquets of wildflowers and poems and music. he also wowed me with his strength and drive. SW was a bullrider and a pretty good one at that. he spent time teaching me about the world of rodeo and all things that go with being that type of athlete. i watched him ride a few times and the ladies hung on his every move. i was proud to know him. (for those of you who know me now in my power suit wearing, money spending clothes habit with a list a mile long of all things that don't equal cowboy, i'm sure you're scratching your heads about now).
i fell in love with SW in the only way a twenty something year old girl who's removed from everything she knows and is overcome by the beauty of her surroundings can and i pursued that love to the best of my ability (while it lasted). unfortunately, SW made a rather dramatic exit to head back home to big cabin, oklahoma and left me crying with nothing but some bull riding numbers, a cowboy hat and the wait for phone calls and letters - they were interesting times to say the least. for some time after, SW and i continued our relationship via phone and handwritten letters but after he left the ranch i knew we were never going to make it. he wanted me to move home to big cabin to buy a house next door to his parents so that i could raise children i wasn't even sure i wanted. his life and mine only meshed in the world that was known as wyoming - there was nothing else.
but the real reason i bring SW up as one of the good times is because of a letter i found of his when unpacking in my new home. for SW had/has written me the most sincere and gentle words i've ever had from any man i've dated and that's why his story appears here. from a letter by SW:
"You are my ambition and strength to get up every day and become a man so I can push myself for a better life. Please God I hope I never fail."
if that doesn't get under a girl's skin, i don't know what does. thanks SW wherever you are - i hope you found happiness.
Friday, October 20, 2006
beauty in the details
not the post i had intended for today, but thought i'd share anyway.
everyday on my way to and from work i have the opportunity to observe the progress on the OHSU tram (a big controversial solution to transportation issues here in PDX). and things are getting kind of close to being finished so today i was thinking about how fun it might be and wondering if it might somehow become a crazy tourist attraction (kind of like trams on the matterhorn and other things of that nature) and all of the sudden i really looked at my drive heading directly west towards the hills and my thoughts were quieted by the beauty of the changing colors of the trees on the hill below OHSU.
i make that drive everyday. and i'm always running late or annoyed with the guy in front of me or distracted by something else, but today my mind sat still for just a moment as i celebrated in the beauty of the changing leaves on the side of a portland hill.
thank goodness for the little things.
everyday on my way to and from work i have the opportunity to observe the progress on the OHSU tram (a big controversial solution to transportation issues here in PDX). and things are getting kind of close to being finished so today i was thinking about how fun it might be and wondering if it might somehow become a crazy tourist attraction (kind of like trams on the matterhorn and other things of that nature) and all of the sudden i really looked at my drive heading directly west towards the hills and my thoughts were quieted by the beauty of the changing colors of the trees on the hill below OHSU.
i make that drive everyday. and i'm always running late or annoyed with the guy in front of me or distracted by something else, but today my mind sat still for just a moment as i celebrated in the beauty of the changing leaves on the side of a portland hill.
thank goodness for the little things.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
in case you were wondering...
i have not died.
i have not stopped blogging.
i don't hate my 4 readers.
i still have two legs (and arms and 10 fingers on each hand).
my car is still in one piece (as am i).
i haven't been on vacation and forgot to tell you.
my cats did not eat my face off.
i did not spontaneously combust (although i did come close a few times).
i just got pulled into the biggest work project ever last week and then needed time to recuperate.
next post is started, check back later this week.
hello world!!!
i have not stopped blogging.
i don't hate my 4 readers.
i still have two legs (and arms and 10 fingers on each hand).
my car is still in one piece (as am i).
i haven't been on vacation and forgot to tell you.
my cats did not eat my face off.
i did not spontaneously combust (although i did come close a few times).
i just got pulled into the biggest work project ever last week and then needed time to recuperate.
next post is started, check back later this week.
hello world!!!
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
this is what i have to look forward to?
the other night at happy hour with some new PDX friends, i heard one of the most horrifying modern day cheating stories that i've ever known to be true.
one of the women i was with shared the following story about her friend, scorned lover (SL).
SL had known things weren't perfect between she and the boy for a month or more. in fact, they'd opted to take some breathing space for two weeks to determine next steps. one week into the "space" SL decided that this whole thing was BS and called the boy to make plans one week in to sort everything out. (btw...SL and the boy had been dating for quite some time) they agreed to meet on sunday to discuss what's what. sunday morning SL called the boy to finalize details but her call went unanswered so she took herself for a walk. when she returned an hour or so later, the call had still not been returned (very unlike the boy) so she got a little worried. several hours later (when she had still not heard back) she took herself over to the boy's house and let herself in with her key. like a scene from a movie, inside SL found clothes strewn about, two cars in the garage (one belonging to someone other than the boy) and other evidence that the boy had been with someone else. all evidence of SL had been removed from the boy's house - her personal items from the shower, her robe, etc. it was obvious that this hadn't just been a one-night thing; the boy had taken great care to erase any evidence of SL.
so, SL did what any normal, totally freaked out, just discovered she'd been cheated on woman would do. she rifled through drawers until she found most of her stuff and wrote a post-it note stating that it was over and she'd like her key and the rest of her stuff back as soon as possible. and then she walked out the door, sobbed and called her girlfriend.
as my friend was sharing this story, my first thought was "well, at least she didn't walk in on the two of them together," but my longer reflections on this make me sick to my stomach. these two people had exchanged keys and portions of their lives and yet the boy had no qualms about putting SL's stuff away, regardless of their situation. this is scary, scary stuff.
now i realize that both men and women cheat - i've heard both sides of the story. i'm not a cheater - never have been, never will be. i'm sure i've been cheated on (in fact, there are definitely moments, or a moment, when i believe/believed that my last bf started cheating on me and that may have been the exact moment when i checked out), but if this is what i have to look forward to, why even bother getting back out there?
one of the women i was with shared the following story about her friend, scorned lover (SL).
SL had known things weren't perfect between she and the boy for a month or more. in fact, they'd opted to take some breathing space for two weeks to determine next steps. one week into the "space" SL decided that this whole thing was BS and called the boy to make plans one week in to sort everything out. (btw...SL and the boy had been dating for quite some time) they agreed to meet on sunday to discuss what's what. sunday morning SL called the boy to finalize details but her call went unanswered so she took herself for a walk. when she returned an hour or so later, the call had still not been returned (very unlike the boy) so she got a little worried. several hours later (when she had still not heard back) she took herself over to the boy's house and let herself in with her key. like a scene from a movie, inside SL found clothes strewn about, two cars in the garage (one belonging to someone other than the boy) and other evidence that the boy had been with someone else. all evidence of SL had been removed from the boy's house - her personal items from the shower, her robe, etc. it was obvious that this hadn't just been a one-night thing; the boy had taken great care to erase any evidence of SL.
so, SL did what any normal, totally freaked out, just discovered she'd been cheated on woman would do. she rifled through drawers until she found most of her stuff and wrote a post-it note stating that it was over and she'd like her key and the rest of her stuff back as soon as possible. and then she walked out the door, sobbed and called her girlfriend.
as my friend was sharing this story, my first thought was "well, at least she didn't walk in on the two of them together," but my longer reflections on this make me sick to my stomach. these two people had exchanged keys and portions of their lives and yet the boy had no qualms about putting SL's stuff away, regardless of their situation. this is scary, scary stuff.
now i realize that both men and women cheat - i've heard both sides of the story. i'm not a cheater - never have been, never will be. i'm sure i've been cheated on (in fact, there are definitely moments, or a moment, when i believe/believed that my last bf started cheating on me and that may have been the exact moment when i checked out), but if this is what i have to look forward to, why even bother getting back out there?
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
i'll remember her this way
we got molly and her sister sophie after the tragic loss of my childhood dog and quasi-sister (b/c i'm an only child and somehow pets become sibs when you're an only), kirsty. the year was approximately 1992; they were the cutest puppies we had ever seen and i begged and begged to get molly, another dog of my own. my mom and stepdad finally gave in and several weeks later the world's cutest puppies came into our home.
my mom will sometimes talk about how they were the worst puppies, but ended up being the best dogs. they were so hyper and difficult to train and they were big enough to hurt when they pulled or jumped. i don't think one of us escaped having giant bruises in the shapes of puppy claws running down our legs as a result of some hyper, "i'm so glad that you're home" interaction.
molly was definitely my dog and i loved that she was the first dog i ever had that played frisbee endlessly, she could jump so high. during my angsty high school years, it was with molly that i shared all my secrets about my broken hearts after boyfriends, my dreams, my next steps, etc. we'd walk at night in the neighborhood and i'd tell her my story. she was a constant listener and always wanted to be where you were - she could never get enough petting.
molly was our dog who stole baked goods (which she loved more than anything else) from the counters while they were cooling and she got into more trouble for climbing up on the couches - she always wanted to be a lap dog, but she was way too big.
her sister sophie, our other dog, died when i was in college and molly went through a huge depression - she'd lost her soul mate and single companion. molly powered through and ended up being such a great job in her later years. i didn't take her with me when i moved to seattle - by then we already thought she was too old (going on eight at that time and we'd never had a dog live more than 9 or 10 years), but every time i came home i'd spend countless hours petting molly.
this year molly turned 14 and the last couple years had been rough on her - we'd had a few scares with her and we knew that she was at the point in her life where she'd feel great and be playing and walking one day and gone the next.
over the weekend, molly passed away in a somewhat tragic accident given we always just thought she'd die in her sleep. she fell and hurt herself and no one knew she was that hurt - in a matter of hours she'd gone. i learned of it last night and spent hours looking at pictures of her, just crying my eyes out.
so this week we'll be quiet and mourn the loss.
i prefer to remember her this way - a loyal friend and constant companion, one who will surely be missed.
my mom will sometimes talk about how they were the worst puppies, but ended up being the best dogs. they were so hyper and difficult to train and they were big enough to hurt when they pulled or jumped. i don't think one of us escaped having giant bruises in the shapes of puppy claws running down our legs as a result of some hyper, "i'm so glad that you're home" interaction.
molly was definitely my dog and i loved that she was the first dog i ever had that played frisbee endlessly, she could jump so high. during my angsty high school years, it was with molly that i shared all my secrets about my broken hearts after boyfriends, my dreams, my next steps, etc. we'd walk at night in the neighborhood and i'd tell her my story. she was a constant listener and always wanted to be where you were - she could never get enough petting.
molly was our dog who stole baked goods (which she loved more than anything else) from the counters while they were cooling and she got into more trouble for climbing up on the couches - she always wanted to be a lap dog, but she was way too big.
her sister sophie, our other dog, died when i was in college and molly went through a huge depression - she'd lost her soul mate and single companion. molly powered through and ended up being such a great job in her later years. i didn't take her with me when i moved to seattle - by then we already thought she was too old (going on eight at that time and we'd never had a dog live more than 9 or 10 years), but every time i came home i'd spend countless hours petting molly.
this year molly turned 14 and the last couple years had been rough on her - we'd had a few scares with her and we knew that she was at the point in her life where she'd feel great and be playing and walking one day and gone the next.
over the weekend, molly passed away in a somewhat tragic accident given we always just thought she'd die in her sleep. she fell and hurt herself and no one knew she was that hurt - in a matter of hours she'd gone. i learned of it last night and spent hours looking at pictures of her, just crying my eyes out.
so this week we'll be quiet and mourn the loss.
i prefer to remember her this way - a loyal friend and constant companion, one who will surely be missed.
Thursday, September 28, 2006
while were on the subject...
at the end of this post, i mentioned the spanx. today, i donned a clean pair of them to increase the svelte look of this pinstriped skirt. the last couple times i've worn the spanx, it's led me to have this internal dialogue (carrie bradshaw style) and now i'm bringing it to you, the internets. because, i can't help but wonder...when wearing the spanx am i fronting as someone i'm not?
spanx are essentially a body slimmer, right? and if i'm wearing a body slimmer under my clothes then even though i may be presenting a sleeker more streamlined version of myself, i'm essentially presenting a slightly altered version of myself. and then i get to thinking about how this isn't really any different from the women who use the cutlets to enhance their busts (not that i have any experience in this area). and then i start to think about how awkward that would be if on a date or something and the cutlet suddenly came out, how your date might be shocked. pretty much that's a little bit similar to these silly spanx - they make me a little bit of something i'm not. at any rate, the difference is not super noticeable (between the wearing and the not), probably mostly to myself but today this whole slight alteration of the body bit is in my head.
just thinking is all...
spanx are essentially a body slimmer, right? and if i'm wearing a body slimmer under my clothes then even though i may be presenting a sleeker more streamlined version of myself, i'm essentially presenting a slightly altered version of myself. and then i get to thinking about how this isn't really any different from the women who use the cutlets to enhance their busts (not that i have any experience in this area). and then i start to think about how awkward that would be if on a date or something and the cutlet suddenly came out, how your date might be shocked. pretty much that's a little bit similar to these silly spanx - they make me a little bit of something i'm not. at any rate, the difference is not super noticeable (between the wearing and the not), probably mostly to myself but today this whole slight alteration of the body bit is in my head.
just thinking is all...
Monday, September 25, 2006
dating is f'ing hiliarious
and i haven't even started yet.
but in honor of my upcoming adventures (even i think it's hilarious and it happens to me) i thought i'd share some of my worst and best dating experiences. (because let's be honest here, those of of you in the committed relationship, marriage, whatever, love to hear my crazy assed dating stories - i could write a book about this stuff).
####
my first worst date:
my first worst date occurred sometime in college (it was the best of the worst if that's any indication of what's to come). some guy, who we will call Jon (and who's name really may have been Jon but it's been so long that i really can't remember and if i can't remember then there's no way that you could ever figure out who it is and even in Jon did read this blog for some strange reason unbeknownst to me he wouldn't even know it's him and also b/c i apparently love run on sentences).
anyway, Jon wanted to take me out on a date. Jon was a nice-ish guy who I knew from one or more activities i was involved in during my college years. i wasn't particularly attracted to him, but he seemed nice enough and so i agreed to meet him at some ridiculous chain restaurant (think Chili's, Applebee's, etc.). Note: every girl has their own deal breakers and this happens to be one of many for me. so if you know me and you think you might want to date me, please, please don't take me to the chain unless i've requested it b/c i'm craving some wacky food they have, but also never, ever take me to the chain on the first date - it's just not going to work for us.
so, i meet Jon at the chili's (or whatever) and we sit down for our meal. Jon orders a salad, i do not. midway through Jon's salad he drips some dressing on his hand and rather than use the perfectly nice napkin he has placed in his lap, he decides to remove the salad dressing from his hand with his tongue in a public place. (btw - he did not remove it with his tongue in some kind of sexy trying to turn me on way, he removed it like a dog lapping your excess ice cream from a bowl). deal breaker #1.
but, oh no, it did not stop there. i manage to somehow sit through the remainder of the meal and when the check comes i do what every good girl has been taught to do - the purse reach. now i'm all about going dutch (or whatever you want to call it) but in some ways am a bit old fashioned and think that if you asked me out, you should probably pay. turns out our pal, Jon, has forgotten his wallet so i did more than reached for my purse, i paid for our meal, on our first date!!!!
and that my friend's is why Jon never made it past round one.
#####
in other news, rosie wanted me to title my next post "my spanx are dirty" because that was my MO all of last week. i had traveled to seattle on friday, spent the weekend with friends and been awakened in my hotel room sunday eve at 3:30AM by a fire alarm - it put a damper on the week's start. tuesday and wednesday were super busy, migraine on thursday, felt fat in my skirt b/c my spanx really were dirty. a weekend guest expected on friday.
unfortunately, said weekend guest could not come in the end so i ended up with an unexpected free weekend. i enjoyed my new local coffee shop, met rosie for shopping fun, saw the devil wears prada, went for a long bike ride and generally enjoyed the sunny PDX weather.
not too bad for starting the weekend off "dirty" (as in my spanx sillies).
but in honor of my upcoming adventures (even i think it's hilarious and it happens to me) i thought i'd share some of my worst and best dating experiences. (because let's be honest here, those of of you in the committed relationship, marriage, whatever, love to hear my crazy assed dating stories - i could write a book about this stuff).
####
my first worst date:
my first worst date occurred sometime in college (it was the best of the worst if that's any indication of what's to come). some guy, who we will call Jon (and who's name really may have been Jon but it's been so long that i really can't remember and if i can't remember then there's no way that you could ever figure out who it is and even in Jon did read this blog for some strange reason unbeknownst to me he wouldn't even know it's him and also b/c i apparently love run on sentences).
anyway, Jon wanted to take me out on a date. Jon was a nice-ish guy who I knew from one or more activities i was involved in during my college years. i wasn't particularly attracted to him, but he seemed nice enough and so i agreed to meet him at some ridiculous chain restaurant (think Chili's, Applebee's, etc.). Note: every girl has their own deal breakers and this happens to be one of many for me. so if you know me and you think you might want to date me, please, please don't take me to the chain unless i've requested it b/c i'm craving some wacky food they have, but also never, ever take me to the chain on the first date - it's just not going to work for us.
so, i meet Jon at the chili's (or whatever) and we sit down for our meal. Jon orders a salad, i do not. midway through Jon's salad he drips some dressing on his hand and rather than use the perfectly nice napkin he has placed in his lap, he decides to remove the salad dressing from his hand with his tongue in a public place. (btw - he did not remove it with his tongue in some kind of sexy trying to turn me on way, he removed it like a dog lapping your excess ice cream from a bowl). deal breaker #1.
but, oh no, it did not stop there. i manage to somehow sit through the remainder of the meal and when the check comes i do what every good girl has been taught to do - the purse reach. now i'm all about going dutch (or whatever you want to call it) but in some ways am a bit old fashioned and think that if you asked me out, you should probably pay. turns out our pal, Jon, has forgotten his wallet so i did more than reached for my purse, i paid for our meal, on our first date!!!!
and that my friend's is why Jon never made it past round one.
#####
in other news, rosie wanted me to title my next post "my spanx are dirty" because that was my MO all of last week. i had traveled to seattle on friday, spent the weekend with friends and been awakened in my hotel room sunday eve at 3:30AM by a fire alarm - it put a damper on the week's start. tuesday and wednesday were super busy, migraine on thursday, felt fat in my skirt b/c my spanx really were dirty. a weekend guest expected on friday.
unfortunately, said weekend guest could not come in the end so i ended up with an unexpected free weekend. i enjoyed my new local coffee shop, met rosie for shopping fun, saw the devil wears prada, went for a long bike ride and generally enjoyed the sunny PDX weather.
not too bad for starting the weekend off "dirty" (as in my spanx sillies).
Friday, September 15, 2006
fall has fallen
when spring begins budding anew we always say "spring has sprung", what do we say about fall?
at any rate, if possible fall has officially arrived almost overnight. yes i know the days have been getting shorter and the nights cooler, but with the occasional hot day still rearing it's sweaty head, i thought my favorite season was never going to arrive this year. on a walk with leslie earlier this week, i lamented about the fact that i couldn't wait for the rains. well, the rains arrived today. last night i slept in my flannel pj pants with the windows open and woke up this morning with both cats and me snuggling into the summer quilt - i love it!
on my drive up to seattle this morning (yes, i'm up here over the weekend for work - two trips in one week), i was completely caught off guard when i stopped daydreaming for a moment only to catch a glimpse of some tree lined road with leaves in all colors of golden, red and orange - i love fall. today, a little jacket with my outfit and the umbrella in the back seat, a quick thai lunch (warm foods are necessary) with two of my favorite co-workers from our bellevue office. tonight, time with a dear old seattle friend and a cozy fire. this weekend i'll be enjoying fall in the great emerald city and next week, i'll think about fall in PDX.
can't wait to wear scarves and boots...
at any rate, if possible fall has officially arrived almost overnight. yes i know the days have been getting shorter and the nights cooler, but with the occasional hot day still rearing it's sweaty head, i thought my favorite season was never going to arrive this year. on a walk with leslie earlier this week, i lamented about the fact that i couldn't wait for the rains. well, the rains arrived today. last night i slept in my flannel pj pants with the windows open and woke up this morning with both cats and me snuggling into the summer quilt - i love it!
on my drive up to seattle this morning (yes, i'm up here over the weekend for work - two trips in one week), i was completely caught off guard when i stopped daydreaming for a moment only to catch a glimpse of some tree lined road with leaves in all colors of golden, red and orange - i love fall. today, a little jacket with my outfit and the umbrella in the back seat, a quick thai lunch (warm foods are necessary) with two of my favorite co-workers from our bellevue office. tonight, time with a dear old seattle friend and a cozy fire. this weekend i'll be enjoying fall in the great emerald city and next week, i'll think about fall in PDX.
can't wait to wear scarves and boots...
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
smacked in the face with fun (and other random happenings)
WARNING: This post is B-O-R-I-N-G, boring!!! I'm just so busy that I can't think of anything to write about other than what I've been up to.
So here goes. Here's what I've been doing in the last week when you maybe thought I was MIA.
* I reminded myself that sometimes it's fun to use capital letters and correct punctuation when writing.
* I've been working like a madwoman managing too much stuff, but my first major event in my new position (for approx. 600) is on Monday so that's why I'm not blogging, not calling, not emailing, not anything except finalizing and traveling.
And now, on to the ways in which I've been smacked in the face with fun:
* Last Friday night, I went on a super long walk with my friend the lumberjack (great pet name, eh? I didn't decide it - her bf's sister did). we walked all through this beautiful park. btw, did you know that Portland has the highest rate of green space/parks per capita of anywhere in the US or some such statistic? Then we went back to lumberjack's house for some Thai, wine and chatter.
* Saturday I had the pleasure of attending the soapbox race finals with some new PDX friends. What fun! Mostly it reminded me of some themed fraternity party from when I was in college, but I enjoyed the sun, innovation and general boozing. This event was followed by the exploration of my new hood and the Belmont Street fair.
* Saturday night Rosie came over for dinner when I inexplicably got a wee bit too intoxicated (honest, i did not drink THAT much). We caught up on all things as we hadn't seen each other in weeks.
* Sunday I laid in a pile for most of the day and then went bike riding and to lunch around the SE - great fun.
* This week I'm crazy traveling (yesterday), in PDX today and tomorrow and back to Seattle Fri - Mon. Expect posting to be sporadic and less than fascinating unless I happen upon something that my internet friends can't live another moment without knowing.
I promise to entertain you next week.
So here goes. Here's what I've been doing in the last week when you maybe thought I was MIA.
* I reminded myself that sometimes it's fun to use capital letters and correct punctuation when writing.
* I've been working like a madwoman managing too much stuff, but my first major event in my new position (for approx. 600) is on Monday so that's why I'm not blogging, not calling, not emailing, not anything except finalizing and traveling.
And now, on to the ways in which I've been smacked in the face with fun:
* Last Friday night, I went on a super long walk with my friend the lumberjack (great pet name, eh? I didn't decide it - her bf's sister did). we walked all through this beautiful park. btw, did you know that Portland has the highest rate of green space/parks per capita of anywhere in the US or some such statistic? Then we went back to lumberjack's house for some Thai, wine and chatter.
* Saturday I had the pleasure of attending the soapbox race finals with some new PDX friends. What fun! Mostly it reminded me of some themed fraternity party from when I was in college, but I enjoyed the sun, innovation and general boozing. This event was followed by the exploration of my new hood and the Belmont Street fair.
* Saturday night Rosie came over for dinner when I inexplicably got a wee bit too intoxicated (honest, i did not drink THAT much). We caught up on all things as we hadn't seen each other in weeks.
* Sunday I laid in a pile for most of the day and then went bike riding and to lunch around the SE - great fun.
* This week I'm crazy traveling (yesterday), in PDX today and tomorrow and back to Seattle Fri - Mon. Expect posting to be sporadic and less than fascinating unless I happen upon something that my internet friends can't live another moment without knowing.
I promise to entertain you next week.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
"if you don't quit, i'm going to leave you behind on purpose"
that's a direct quote from some sushi conversation i overheard yesterday at the pearl district art festival. i spied some really beautiful art there - i'm always in awe of the artistic folk (i'm okay with the art of wordsmithing, but not much else), that vision of something out of nothing, seeing the beauty in the mundane, it's an awesome, awesome thing. even more "interesting" were the people attending the event. it takes all kinds right? and people come out of the woodwork for a free festival and fried food, but the kicker was definitely the parenting moment quoted above. now don't think i've never thought that about anyone, b/c believe me i have. but, i was totally shocked and a little bit sad to hear a woman say that phrase to her child b/c seriously? no child needs to hear that from her mom. (that's a megan tip on parenting for you b/c i have oh-so-much experience in that area).
after that madness, i snuck into a theater to watch little miss sunshine - a movie that made me laugh so hard i literally had tears running down my cheeks. a nice close to my home improvement weekend.
after that madness, i snuck into a theater to watch little miss sunshine - a movie that made me laugh so hard i literally had tears running down my cheeks. a nice close to my home improvement weekend.
Saturday, September 02, 2006
unpacking memories
this weekend is home improvement weekend, but it also includes unpacking my boxes of books to fill my new bookshelves. i love my books, i love to look through them and remind myself of those i've read, those i've yet to read and those i'll never read - they've been packed up for almost two years and so unpacking is literally unpacking memories, old friends and i've missed them. mixed in with my books in the boxes are my old journals; i'm starting to reread where i was at different places in my life and today came across this entry (dated 2003):
I have so much feeling and emotion inside me and too many people who know bits and pieces and love to tell me how they think I should feel and react, but the truth of the matter is that I'm the only one who's ever been inside me so I'm the only one who knows what I should do. So many changes, so much pain and so much happiness. I was only gone a week and it seems fall has set in and summer is officially over and it makes me so terribly sad because I know there may/will never be this summer again - this Seattle, this ______, this anything. Reckless love? Hurt? Anger? Fear? Will this happen again? Can it be alright? What do I need to do for me? Heal, but how - not when ______ is hurting - and I can't be there to support, to think, to believe. Will I be the one that got away? Will he? How do you support someone you love who has hurt you, but whom you also know to be hurting? I have no answers. I can't keep putting my life on hold....I want to be there, but need to nourish myself. "Remember happy moments and the rest will work itself out," XXX says. But there are so many - my life, my summer on and on - they over-shadow all else, yet I still feel pain. Memories fading, moments of sadness, what if I never feel this again? I have to let it go and do what comes naturally to me. What is that?
#####
no one said i wasn't a little bit dramatic, but this is me real, unplugged, passionate. i shouldn't feel this anguished, but this is the passion i should always feel.
this post brought to you by memories and the letter "M"; keep watching for more journalistic reflections to come.
I have so much feeling and emotion inside me and too many people who know bits and pieces and love to tell me how they think I should feel and react, but the truth of the matter is that I'm the only one who's ever been inside me so I'm the only one who knows what I should do. So many changes, so much pain and so much happiness. I was only gone a week and it seems fall has set in and summer is officially over and it makes me so terribly sad because I know there may/will never be this summer again - this Seattle, this ______, this anything. Reckless love? Hurt? Anger? Fear? Will this happen again? Can it be alright? What do I need to do for me? Heal, but how - not when ______ is hurting - and I can't be there to support, to think, to believe. Will I be the one that got away? Will he? How do you support someone you love who has hurt you, but whom you also know to be hurting? I have no answers. I can't keep putting my life on hold....I want to be there, but need to nourish myself. "Remember happy moments and the rest will work itself out," XXX says. But there are so many - my life, my summer on and on - they over-shadow all else, yet I still feel pain. Memories fading, moments of sadness, what if I never feel this again? I have to let it go and do what comes naturally to me. What is that?
#####
no one said i wasn't a little bit dramatic, but this is me real, unplugged, passionate. i shouldn't feel this anguished, but this is the passion i should always feel.
this post brought to you by memories and the letter "M"; keep watching for more journalistic reflections to come.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
travelin' with the peace pipe
for starters it's not what you think.
it's been a funny week for me, this one. starting work on monday, traveling on tuesday, major traffic and car issues on wednesday...it's thursday and monday, but i wish it were friday. really, it's just too much.
tuesday i flew up to seattle for a meeting and a site visit. a super long day for a super short trip. i left for the airport very early tuesday morning since i'd never driven from the new place to the airport and i had no idea what security would be like given the current state of the world. 5AM came early on tuesday.
overall an uneventful trip (if you don't count the part where i wasn't able to check in for my flight and the fact that the site visit that i stayed in seattle an extra 5 hours for lasted only 10 minutes)the kicker for tuesday occurred at the very very end of the day. i don't know how often you travel for business, but when i come home from a business trip the only place i want to be is home.
i'm walking out of the terminal behind this cute little family - mom, dad, kid. they're all carrying bags and the kid's whining b/c he has to carry the laptop bag. he's a seven year old whining b/c he has to carry a laptop bag - i seriously wanted to trip him. they're crowding the entire walkway and the kid's messing with the automatic revolving door and i can't get past and i've already been gone hours longer than i wanted to and i seriously think something awful's going to happen and that this just might be the one time that i'm going to lose it and yell or push or something.
i finally get around the "family" and am scurrying (yes, scurrying that's what i do in the airport - it's similar to the scoot that my friend kathleen and i jokingly patented in college) and i'm heading toward the stairs mere moments from the safety of my vehicle when i'm stopped dead in my tracks by a somewhat bright and shiny object resting on the fire extinguisher by the stairs - there in all it's glory lies a glass pipe just waiting to be smoked. i stood frozen in my tracks for a good 30 seconds debating what to do and i'm not even sure what my options were, but i've been conditioned my entire life to pick up lost items and make them my own. when i was a little kid and played with dolls i would always pick up lost pacifiers and whatnot. my mom would put them through the dishwasher and once clean they would become new accessories for my dolls. i've picked up rocks that i thought were neat, pennies and nickels and dimes, oh my. i've found pieces of jewelry, i have some really cool vintage ties i found in a dumpster once that i like to wear as belts - i pick things up. so there i was trying to figure out who would have left the pipe and whether or not i should take it. not so much b/c i needed it but b/c it was there. but mostly i just wondered if the person who left it there had left it there strategically (it's a fitting place to leave your pipe - on a fire extinguisher) and if they hoped it would still be there when they got back.
i don't know the answer and i ultimately left the pipe right where i found it, but had i traveled with it my day would have been much more relaxed.
#####
this weekend holds book shelves and towel bars. i'm working on unpacking the last few boxes.
it's been a funny week for me, this one. starting work on monday, traveling on tuesday, major traffic and car issues on wednesday...it's thursday and monday, but i wish it were friday. really, it's just too much.
tuesday i flew up to seattle for a meeting and a site visit. a super long day for a super short trip. i left for the airport very early tuesday morning since i'd never driven from the new place to the airport and i had no idea what security would be like given the current state of the world. 5AM came early on tuesday.
overall an uneventful trip (if you don't count the part where i wasn't able to check in for my flight and the fact that the site visit that i stayed in seattle an extra 5 hours for lasted only 10 minutes)the kicker for tuesday occurred at the very very end of the day. i don't know how often you travel for business, but when i come home from a business trip the only place i want to be is home.
i'm walking out of the terminal behind this cute little family - mom, dad, kid. they're all carrying bags and the kid's whining b/c he has to carry the laptop bag. he's a seven year old whining b/c he has to carry a laptop bag - i seriously wanted to trip him. they're crowding the entire walkway and the kid's messing with the automatic revolving door and i can't get past and i've already been gone hours longer than i wanted to and i seriously think something awful's going to happen and that this just might be the one time that i'm going to lose it and yell or push or something.
i finally get around the "family" and am scurrying (yes, scurrying that's what i do in the airport - it's similar to the scoot that my friend kathleen and i jokingly patented in college) and i'm heading toward the stairs mere moments from the safety of my vehicle when i'm stopped dead in my tracks by a somewhat bright and shiny object resting on the fire extinguisher by the stairs - there in all it's glory lies a glass pipe just waiting to be smoked. i stood frozen in my tracks for a good 30 seconds debating what to do and i'm not even sure what my options were, but i've been conditioned my entire life to pick up lost items and make them my own. when i was a little kid and played with dolls i would always pick up lost pacifiers and whatnot. my mom would put them through the dishwasher and once clean they would become new accessories for my dolls. i've picked up rocks that i thought were neat, pennies and nickels and dimes, oh my. i've found pieces of jewelry, i have some really cool vintage ties i found in a dumpster once that i like to wear as belts - i pick things up. so there i was trying to figure out who would have left the pipe and whether or not i should take it. not so much b/c i needed it but b/c it was there. but mostly i just wondered if the person who left it there had left it there strategically (it's a fitting place to leave your pipe - on a fire extinguisher) and if they hoped it would still be there when they got back.
i don't know the answer and i ultimately left the pipe right where i found it, but had i traveled with it my day would have been much more relaxed.
#####
this weekend holds book shelves and towel bars. i'm working on unpacking the last few boxes.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
on being bershon...
dooce (who, btw, i don't even know other than the fact that i stalk her blog) blogged about bershon yesterday. and if there's any way to describe me today it's bershon. if i still had my long permed hair and big bangs, my one piece teal jumpsuit thing complete with mega-elastic belt, you have no idea just how bershon i'd be.
i'm just saying is all...
i'm just saying is all...
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
just talking...
if there's one thing i know about this blogging business it's that you have to update these things about 2-3 times a week in order to keep your readers engaged. given the fact that i only have 2 or 3 of you that i know read this thing on a regular basis i think it's even more important for me to entertain you regularly. (let's be honest if even one of you stops reading, it'll cut my readership in half and that would be detrimental to my future book sales).
here's the problem: i got nothing for you...nothing.
so today you just get to hear me talk. so i moved this weekend. my movers showed up three hours late which was a bit stressful and made me grumpy. i actually called the owner two times and told him what's what. (he didn't give me a discount on my move though and i'm pretty sure they dragged my cream colored couch in something black on purpose - jerks!) it was hot this weekend and i sweated a lot trying to set up and move my furniture all by myself - i ran over my toe with my bed which kind of hurt and i discovered that washcloths are true lifesavers when you are only one person trying to move large pieces of furniture across brand new hardwood floors.
overall my place is great, i'm settling in. a few things are annoying like the fact that the developer didn't put up towel racks and i missed that so now i have to purchase and install myself. the garbage is really inconveniently far away from my place (which i suppose isn't a bad thing) and somebody's cats were fighting during the first night i was there.
i've also learned some things about my cats. did you know cats can projectile vomit? i didn't either, but daphne my super scaredy cat freaked herself out about the move and demonstrated her skills on my brand new hardwood floors. also, my cats are afraid of my washer because it has a clear front and it's right at their eye level so they can see the clothes swirling around in there. ooooh, scary! they run by it as fast as they can.
so that's me in a nutshell...surviving.
here's the problem: i got nothing for you...nothing.
so today you just get to hear me talk. so i moved this weekend. my movers showed up three hours late which was a bit stressful and made me grumpy. i actually called the owner two times and told him what's what. (he didn't give me a discount on my move though and i'm pretty sure they dragged my cream colored couch in something black on purpose - jerks!) it was hot this weekend and i sweated a lot trying to set up and move my furniture all by myself - i ran over my toe with my bed which kind of hurt and i discovered that washcloths are true lifesavers when you are only one person trying to move large pieces of furniture across brand new hardwood floors.
overall my place is great, i'm settling in. a few things are annoying like the fact that the developer didn't put up towel racks and i missed that so now i have to purchase and install myself. the garbage is really inconveniently far away from my place (which i suppose isn't a bad thing) and somebody's cats were fighting during the first night i was there.
i've also learned some things about my cats. did you know cats can projectile vomit? i didn't either, but daphne my super scaredy cat freaked herself out about the move and demonstrated her skills on my brand new hardwood floors. also, my cats are afraid of my washer because it has a clear front and it's right at their eye level so they can see the clothes swirling around in there. ooooh, scary! they run by it as fast as they can.
so that's me in a nutshell...surviving.
Friday, August 18, 2006
what is it with guys and doctors?
seriously. what is it?
5+ years ago when things went down the proverbial drain with the other live-in boyfriend (LIB), i thought i'd never hear from him again until one day out of the blue he called me to ask if i could remember who his eye doctor was and where he was located. because seriously, those are the things that your ex-girlfriend should keep track of for you right? but the thing is, i DID remember who the eye doctor was and where he was located even though i'd never visited this doctor myself.
today the recent ex-LIB calls me to tell me he's on the way to the dentist and do i remember where it is. to his credit, we at least visited the same dentist so it wasn't that absurd, but still.
so maybe i'm the crazy one and that's my problem. you see when i have a doctor's appointment (of any type), i look up the address and verify i know how to get there before i leave my house. call me crazy...but it makes sense to me.
#####
in other news, it's moving weekend. as long as i don't fall down and break myself further, we'll be back to our regularly scheduled programming next week.
5+ years ago when things went down the proverbial drain with the other live-in boyfriend (LIB), i thought i'd never hear from him again until one day out of the blue he called me to ask if i could remember who his eye doctor was and where he was located. because seriously, those are the things that your ex-girlfriend should keep track of for you right? but the thing is, i DID remember who the eye doctor was and where he was located even though i'd never visited this doctor myself.
today the recent ex-LIB calls me to tell me he's on the way to the dentist and do i remember where it is. to his credit, we at least visited the same dentist so it wasn't that absurd, but still.
so maybe i'm the crazy one and that's my problem. you see when i have a doctor's appointment (of any type), i look up the address and verify i know how to get there before i leave my house. call me crazy...but it makes sense to me.
#####
in other news, it's moving weekend. as long as i don't fall down and break myself further, we'll be back to our regularly scheduled programming next week.
karma: it does a body good
sometimes i really do wonder about myself.
my co-workers put a new sticker on my cube window yesterday. it's a photo of a woman sprawled out on the ground, a full four on the floor - she's taken quite a spill. i know i've laughed until my sides hurt, with a number of you readers (okay, you one reader), about the all time funniest falls we've ever witnessed. you know, the type that are in slow motion and you want to ask the person if they are okay but for some reason the fall was so hee-larious that you can't even ask.
yesterday, karma bit me back for all those times. i caught the heel of my shoe on the plastic mat under my desk chair when i ran back to my desk, late for a meeting, to grab something i forgot. all of the sudden my feet were out from under me, my desk chair wheeling itself out of the way. i banged my elbow and tweaked my neck and sat on the floor laughing to myself.
no one witnessed my great fall, so there was no one there to ask if i was okay but it made me laugh so hard that i had to tell my two closest cubies what they'd missed. (they're great, they put up the pic later).
one point for karma.
my co-workers put a new sticker on my cube window yesterday. it's a photo of a woman sprawled out on the ground, a full four on the floor - she's taken quite a spill. i know i've laughed until my sides hurt, with a number of you readers (okay, you one reader), about the all time funniest falls we've ever witnessed. you know, the type that are in slow motion and you want to ask the person if they are okay but for some reason the fall was so hee-larious that you can't even ask.
yesterday, karma bit me back for all those times. i caught the heel of my shoe on the plastic mat under my desk chair when i ran back to my desk, late for a meeting, to grab something i forgot. all of the sudden my feet were out from under me, my desk chair wheeling itself out of the way. i banged my elbow and tweaked my neck and sat on the floor laughing to myself.
no one witnessed my great fall, so there was no one there to ask if i was okay but it made me laugh so hard that i had to tell my two closest cubies what they'd missed. (they're great, they put up the pic later).
one point for karma.
Monday, August 14, 2006
ummm, yeh...
insert foot in mouth much? that's the phrase currently running through my head.
i just had a conversation with two co-workers (one being my boss) and i was discussing my upcoming move and how i got a hold of my boxes.
this exact phrase just came out of my mouth: "i've become a great box chaser."
and then i turned beet red, noted how awkward this was and changed the subject.
because, seriously? did i just say that?
co-workers, for clarification: i meant that i've become a great finder of free boxes and then chasing them down. MOVING BOXES!!!
i just had a conversation with two co-workers (one being my boss) and i was discussing my upcoming move and how i got a hold of my boxes.
this exact phrase just came out of my mouth: "i've become a great box chaser."
and then i turned beet red, noted how awkward this was and changed the subject.
because, seriously? did i just say that?
co-workers, for clarification: i meant that i've become a great finder of free boxes and then chasing them down. MOVING BOXES!!!
Friday, August 11, 2006
this message brought to you by...
the letter "P" and my local homeless neighbor.
today got a jump start when leslie suggested we meet at the gym at 6AM for a quick run before starting our days. i love when leslie pressures me into meeting her anywhere for a workout because once i've committed to something like that i'll never back out. so even before my alarm went off this morning, i was awake, afraid that i'd oversleep and become that person. when i go to the gym in the early morning i always scurry from my house down the street a little afraid that i'm walking and it's still kind of dark (ladies and sketchy neighborhoods and darkness don't really fit well together) and i purposefully always alter my route to go in front of the fire department. (the reason for that is two-fold. 1) for safety and 2) just in case there's a cute fireman out doing something manly).
on my way to the gym i always pass the local synagogue and the homeless man who sleeps in the doorway (he's always still sleeping at that hour). today he was just standing up, getting ready to leave his alcove to relieve himself and i completely caught him off guard. he grunted, scurried (today i love the word scurry) back to his sleeping bag and shouted a warm greeting to me. when i said hello back, we exchanged brief pleasantries and i chuckled to myself as i walked away; about how i'd interrupted my neighbor doing his "business".
things i'm thankful for - my new home (or any home for that matter) and a clean place to pee; i'd probably be grumpy if i was surprised by some lady when trying to take care of my business.
today got a jump start when leslie suggested we meet at the gym at 6AM for a quick run before starting our days. i love when leslie pressures me into meeting her anywhere for a workout because once i've committed to something like that i'll never back out. so even before my alarm went off this morning, i was awake, afraid that i'd oversleep and become that person. when i go to the gym in the early morning i always scurry from my house down the street a little afraid that i'm walking and it's still kind of dark (ladies and sketchy neighborhoods and darkness don't really fit well together) and i purposefully always alter my route to go in front of the fire department. (the reason for that is two-fold. 1) for safety and 2) just in case there's a cute fireman out doing something manly).
on my way to the gym i always pass the local synagogue and the homeless man who sleeps in the doorway (he's always still sleeping at that hour). today he was just standing up, getting ready to leave his alcove to relieve himself and i completely caught him off guard. he grunted, scurried (today i love the word scurry) back to his sleeping bag and shouted a warm greeting to me. when i said hello back, we exchanged brief pleasantries and i chuckled to myself as i walked away; about how i'd interrupted my neighbor doing his "business".
things i'm thankful for - my new home (or any home for that matter) and a clean place to pee; i'd probably be grumpy if i was surprised by some lady when trying to take care of my business.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
the countdown
whenever i face major change in my life (that i'm expecting anyway) i begin what i like to think of as the countdown; the opportunity to do things or try things or finish things in the remaining time i have left. (note: i do this in all situations if i am aware they are looming ahead - ends of relationships, ends of jobs, ends of living situations, whatever).
well apparently the countdown is on in my current living situation and i'm only moving across town!
i'm trying to squeeze in a lot of firsts (and lasts) before i move out of nw portland. i'm approaching the activities with such vigor you might actually think i'm moving somewhere far far away and that i might never ever get back.(this is what it's like to be in my silly little head).
last night's countdown activity included a burrito at my favorite little burrito place one block away from my abode and a trip to the tuesday night summer concert series in our local park. here's the thing: i get a burrito from the burrito place at least once a week so i'm actually going to miss that, but the summer concert series thing? not so much. in fact, before last night i'd never even made an effort to go. sure i'd seen that it was happening while driving home on a tuesday night a few other times and sure i'd thought about going, but last night knowing i'm moving in 10 days* all of the sudden not going wasn't an option. so i went and watched some fun middle aged men sing their little hearts out on the stage. and i basked in the community feeling with all the neighborhoodies and their dogs. and i felt sad that i'd never made the effort to go before and even made plans in my mind to go next week. so really what i'm thinking....why is it that my priorities change when i know something might be the last?
this isn't my only countdown behavior btw, everyday is filled with some sort of countdown something.
10 days...
* Yes, it's official, i'm 100% moving in 10 days - it appears that they do actually give home loans to crazies like me too!
well apparently the countdown is on in my current living situation and i'm only moving across town!
i'm trying to squeeze in a lot of firsts (and lasts) before i move out of nw portland. i'm approaching the activities with such vigor you might actually think i'm moving somewhere far far away and that i might never ever get back.(this is what it's like to be in my silly little head).
last night's countdown activity included a burrito at my favorite little burrito place one block away from my abode and a trip to the tuesday night summer concert series in our local park. here's the thing: i get a burrito from the burrito place at least once a week so i'm actually going to miss that, but the summer concert series thing? not so much. in fact, before last night i'd never even made an effort to go. sure i'd seen that it was happening while driving home on a tuesday night a few other times and sure i'd thought about going, but last night knowing i'm moving in 10 days* all of the sudden not going wasn't an option. so i went and watched some fun middle aged men sing their little hearts out on the stage. and i basked in the community feeling with all the neighborhoodies and their dogs. and i felt sad that i'd never made the effort to go before and even made plans in my mind to go next week. so really what i'm thinking....why is it that my priorities change when i know something might be the last?
this isn't my only countdown behavior btw, everyday is filled with some sort of countdown something.
10 days...
* Yes, it's official, i'm 100% moving in 10 days - it appears that they do actually give home loans to crazies like me too!
Sunday, August 06, 2006
spammers
sorry kids, we had to add word verification to the comments section - the spammers have found me and are making recommendations that i honestly don't need.
please continue to comment - if it's legit, i love to hear what you have to say.
please continue to comment - if it's legit, i love to hear what you have to say.
Saturday, August 05, 2006
i traded my jimmy for a shimmy (but then later got the jimmy back again)
"i don't know if i've ever told you this, but i just learned how to shimmy," i told rosie last night over beers at the full sail brewery in hood river, oregon. "literally. i've had the girls all my life and just now learned how to use them to shimmy." rosie just burst into peals of laughter as we'd been doing for most of the day since we met mid-morning to get out of town for our abbreviated, but much needed girls weekend. rosie responded something to the effect of "i can see your blog post now - you traded your jimmy for a shimmy!"
a brief summary of events:
* 1.5 hours late (all my fault) rosie and i depart portland for a trip through the gorge and the hope of finding a last minute campsite.
* we were reprimanded for driving too fast, the wrong way and potentially endangering children by two old men who came running off their john deere's in the first campsite we looked at. let's just say it wasn't the best fit.
* discovered another campground with availability 2 feet from I-84 thinking the highway noise wouldn't be that bad - it was. made friends with vern the elderly host and he scored us a spot.
* ran into hood river (from now on referred to as hr) for a yummy lunch at a cute local cafe.
* hiked a quick 1.5 miles up to some lookout point who's name escapes me fearing rattlers, poison oak and fire the whole way only to discover a beautiful panoramic view of mt. hood and mt. adams as well as the entire gorge from the top.
* swung into hr to drink some beers and eat at the brewery. spent countless hours giggling about everything and commenting on fellow patio-goers. hr is interesting...
* randomly stumbled upon hr's "first friday celebration". crushed on a band made up of three high schoolers. danced before realizing we were the only ones over 20 hanging out there. immediately departed.
* ended the night with dessert and a nightcap at "jimmy's bar" - that's how i got my jimmy back AND i still got the shimmy.
aside from the lack of sleep and the sore back, a great getaway and completely uncensored!
look closely for jimmy's bar
a brief summary of events:
* 1.5 hours late (all my fault) rosie and i depart portland for a trip through the gorge and the hope of finding a last minute campsite.
* we were reprimanded for driving too fast, the wrong way and potentially endangering children by two old men who came running off their john deere's in the first campsite we looked at. let's just say it wasn't the best fit.
* discovered another campground with availability 2 feet from I-84 thinking the highway noise wouldn't be that bad - it was. made friends with vern the elderly host and he scored us a spot.
* ran into hood river (from now on referred to as hr) for a yummy lunch at a cute local cafe.
* hiked a quick 1.5 miles up to some lookout point who's name escapes me fearing rattlers, poison oak and fire the whole way only to discover a beautiful panoramic view of mt. hood and mt. adams as well as the entire gorge from the top.
* swung into hr to drink some beers and eat at the brewery. spent countless hours giggling about everything and commenting on fellow patio-goers. hr is interesting...
* randomly stumbled upon hr's "first friday celebration". crushed on a band made up of three high schoolers. danced before realizing we were the only ones over 20 hanging out there. immediately departed.
* ended the night with dessert and a nightcap at "jimmy's bar" - that's how i got my jimmy back AND i still got the shimmy.
aside from the lack of sleep and the sore back, a great getaway and completely uncensored!
look closely for jimmy's bar
Thursday, August 03, 2006
cranky
i'm in one heck of a mood today. perhaps the stress of all that i've been dealing with has finally caught up with me, at least that's what i'm going to say it is.
i woke up this morning with a splitting headache and a kink in my neck. every time i move i wince for one reason or another. i'm dropping the f bomb like it's going out of style. i put my IM on busy for most of the day today just so people would stop IMing me - their comments a bit too raw and uncensored for me to stomach when i feel this way. last night i was helping a friend unpack in her new home (a great excuse to get free beer and boxes in anticipation of my upcoming move). i think the grouchiness was already descending and i razzed her about some of her possessions - maybe a bit too much and now i'm feeling bad. i saw a woman in the deli today and the meanest thought crossed my mind as i watched her snarf down multiple pieces of the sample they had laid out - and when the spread ran out she had the audacity to ask for more. no wonder others hate americans, we're greedy and pushy and loud and when i'm grouchy i'll have none of it. i almost walked over and said something, but knew that my mind is not in the right place and it's best to just shut my mouth.
tomorrow, i'll take a much needed break from the office and the insanity which is my life right now. i'll drive out east, enjoying the scenery and the water and look for a place to have a day hike and a long chat with rosie - a much needed reprieve from this. hopefully some fresh air and exercise will work wonders on my attitude. if not, consider this your warning: i'm a grump and any words and actions cannot be held against me.
i woke up this morning with a splitting headache and a kink in my neck. every time i move i wince for one reason or another. i'm dropping the f bomb like it's going out of style. i put my IM on busy for most of the day today just so people would stop IMing me - their comments a bit too raw and uncensored for me to stomach when i feel this way. last night i was helping a friend unpack in her new home (a great excuse to get free beer and boxes in anticipation of my upcoming move). i think the grouchiness was already descending and i razzed her about some of her possessions - maybe a bit too much and now i'm feeling bad. i saw a woman in the deli today and the meanest thought crossed my mind as i watched her snarf down multiple pieces of the sample they had laid out - and when the spread ran out she had the audacity to ask for more. no wonder others hate americans, we're greedy and pushy and loud and when i'm grouchy i'll have none of it. i almost walked over and said something, but knew that my mind is not in the right place and it's best to just shut my mouth.
tomorrow, i'll take a much needed break from the office and the insanity which is my life right now. i'll drive out east, enjoying the scenery and the water and look for a place to have a day hike and a long chat with rosie - a much needed reprieve from this. hopefully some fresh air and exercise will work wonders on my attitude. if not, consider this your warning: i'm a grump and any words and actions cannot be held against me.
Monday, July 31, 2006
pet peeve #1
it's time to start talking about this stuff. if i don't talk about it who will? someone's got to say something!
i work in an office park and i don't really like it. it's two skips off the interstate and is close to nothing but a chili's and a chevy's, but that's not even the root problem. the problem is with the ladies room on the floor where i work.
ladies! there are four stalls in the bathroom! if i am in stall one and there are no other bathroom occupants, please don't use stall #2. it pisses me off and encroaches on my personal space. why when there are two other stalls that would adhere to the one stall of personal space rule would you choose to pee two feet from me. seriously...
oh and also, if you talk on your cell phone from your stall one more time i might bust through the door and drop it into the toilet. disgusting. we have conference rooms for private calls. use them.
signed,
your personal space and hygiene conscious co-worker
ps - wash your hands, everyone has to touch that door handle!!!
Update:
And, if you go into the restroom and no one else is in there, please choose one of the stalls that makes it possible for me, too, to follow the one stall barrier rule...
i work in an office park and i don't really like it. it's two skips off the interstate and is close to nothing but a chili's and a chevy's, but that's not even the root problem. the problem is with the ladies room on the floor where i work.
ladies! there are four stalls in the bathroom! if i am in stall one and there are no other bathroom occupants, please don't use stall #2. it pisses me off and encroaches on my personal space. why when there are two other stalls that would adhere to the one stall of personal space rule would you choose to pee two feet from me. seriously...
oh and also, if you talk on your cell phone from your stall one more time i might bust through the door and drop it into the toilet. disgusting. we have conference rooms for private calls. use them.
signed,
your personal space and hygiene conscious co-worker
ps - wash your hands, everyone has to touch that door handle!!!
Update:
And, if you go into the restroom and no one else is in there, please choose one of the stalls that makes it possible for me, too, to follow the one stall barrier rule...
Thursday, July 27, 2006
did you just try to pick me up???
last night, on my way home from work, i encountered what may have been my funniest pick-up line experience of all time.
i'm sitting in my car at a stoplight approximately 10 blocks from my house, my windows are cracked slightly and i'm pondering all of the things i need to get finished before the end of the week. a large tannish/yellow boat of a car - think old cadillac, buick or other ginormous vehicle pulls up beside me. i don't take much notice of the car but do realize that the man in the passenger seat has a rather large afro.
midway through the wait at the light afro man (AM) rolls down his window and shouts "excuse me", clearly he's talking to me. normally when faced with a complete stranger yelling at me through an open car window in the car next to mine, i would likely feign deafness, stare straight ahead and internally plead for the light to change, but it was a beautiful, sun shiney, not too hot day and i was feeling generous so i rolled down my window and said, "yes?".
AM says "do you know this area well?" and i'm thinking he needs directions so i say "yeh, i live here". AM responds, "well i'd like to follow you home and go bumping in your beetle." and for once in my life instead of being completely annoyed or disgusted, i looked at AM, burst out laughing and said, "yeh, i bet you would," rolled up my window as the light changed and drove away.
i spent a good portion of the next half hour just chuckling to myself about the whole interaction because seriously did AM just try to pick up on me?
i'm sitting in my car at a stoplight approximately 10 blocks from my house, my windows are cracked slightly and i'm pondering all of the things i need to get finished before the end of the week. a large tannish/yellow boat of a car - think old cadillac, buick or other ginormous vehicle pulls up beside me. i don't take much notice of the car but do realize that the man in the passenger seat has a rather large afro.
midway through the wait at the light afro man (AM) rolls down his window and shouts "excuse me", clearly he's talking to me. normally when faced with a complete stranger yelling at me through an open car window in the car next to mine, i would likely feign deafness, stare straight ahead and internally plead for the light to change, but it was a beautiful, sun shiney, not too hot day and i was feeling generous so i rolled down my window and said, "yes?".
AM says "do you know this area well?" and i'm thinking he needs directions so i say "yeh, i live here". AM responds, "well i'd like to follow you home and go bumping in your beetle." and for once in my life instead of being completely annoyed or disgusted, i looked at AM, burst out laughing and said, "yeh, i bet you would," rolled up my window as the light changed and drove away.
i spent a good portion of the next half hour just chuckling to myself about the whole interaction because seriously did AM just try to pick up on me?
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
one friend, two friend, red friend, blue friend
isn't it funny how making one seemingly tiny (or in my case rather large) change in your life starts a cascade of changes and weird things happen or fall into place?
a few weeks ago i took this new job and i don't know if that was the catalyst for all this change or what, but here i am. now, i have a new job, a new cube, i'm moving (in 26 days to somewhere i don't know about yet), i'm going to buy a house, i'm single (again!), yesterday i heard from two different boys i know (i mean that in the manliest sense) - one who i had just met and one i hadn't heard from in years. old boy (OB for short - the one i haven't heard from in years) suddenly connected me with two friends of his (girls) who both moved to portland (separately) within the past year and now i'm going out them this weekend (or maybe early next week)....two seemingly possible new friends.
in the past crazy week, i've had friends rally around me for a million different reasons - to take me to a movie, to drag me out to my "your next phase" dinner (thanks rosie), to look at a million houses online with me (thanks TX Mama and Mom) to talk me off the ledge or tell me stories that are way more important that what's going on in my life and to just generally give me love or offer it up.
it's a reminder that one can never have too many friends. i always say that friends come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. and no matter why you are here or how long you plan to stay, i'm grateful for you each and everyday.
xo.
a few weeks ago i took this new job and i don't know if that was the catalyst for all this change or what, but here i am. now, i have a new job, a new cube, i'm moving (in 26 days to somewhere i don't know about yet), i'm going to buy a house, i'm single (again!), yesterday i heard from two different boys i know (i mean that in the manliest sense) - one who i had just met and one i hadn't heard from in years. old boy (OB for short - the one i haven't heard from in years) suddenly connected me with two friends of his (girls) who both moved to portland (separately) within the past year and now i'm going out them this weekend (or maybe early next week)....two seemingly possible new friends.
in the past crazy week, i've had friends rally around me for a million different reasons - to take me to a movie, to drag me out to my "your next phase" dinner (thanks rosie), to look at a million houses online with me (thanks TX Mama and Mom) to talk me off the ledge or tell me stories that are way more important that what's going on in my life and to just generally give me love or offer it up.
it's a reminder that one can never have too many friends. i always say that friends come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. and no matter why you are here or how long you plan to stay, i'm grateful for you each and everyday.
xo.
Monday, July 24, 2006
waiting for guffman
waiting for guffman is one of my all time favorite movies. i love it because a) i pretty much love any christopher guest movie - he's seriously one of the funniest people i don't know, b) because parker posey always makes me want to pee my pants and c) it's a bunch of crazy adults preparing for a town play, wtf?!
here's the kicker, i think i'm waiting for guffman, you know the film critic who's never going to show up. okay, i'm not starring in a film - i had to drop out of that choir i was performing with because the rehearsal schedule got too intense and the costumes were seriously waaaay too much. but, i'm definitely playing the waiting game. waiting for a realtor to show me a house, waiting to find out if i really, really have to be moved out on August 20, waiting to see if some guy will call me back, waiting for my new boss to tell me what needs to be done, waiting...
what if guffman never shows up? that's the kind of stuff that keeps me awake at night. well that and the heat. i thought it was bad here, turns out i was mistaken. nothing feels better than getting out of a cool shower only to discover sweat running down your back...i'm thankful that it's monday because at least i had an excuse to come to work and bask in the a/c.
here's the kicker, i think i'm waiting for guffman, you know the film critic who's never going to show up. okay, i'm not starring in a film - i had to drop out of that choir i was performing with because the rehearsal schedule got too intense and the costumes were seriously waaaay too much. but, i'm definitely playing the waiting game. waiting for a realtor to show me a house, waiting to find out if i really, really have to be moved out on August 20, waiting to see if some guy will call me back, waiting for my new boss to tell me what needs to be done, waiting...
what if guffman never shows up? that's the kind of stuff that keeps me awake at night. well that and the heat. i thought it was bad here, turns out i was mistaken. nothing feels better than getting out of a cool shower only to discover sweat running down your back...i'm thankful that it's monday because at least i had an excuse to come to work and bask in the a/c.
Thursday, July 20, 2006
moving day
i don't know if i told you (all one of you)that i have a new job. it starts today. i came to work this morning, sat at my same old desk, attended my same old morning meetings and promptly at 10AM shut down my computer and the powers that be came to move all of my work belongings to another location in the building. i'm at my new desk now awaiting instructions for my new job. the next few months are bound to be interesting as i'll be spanning two completely different worlds. i'll still be doing my old job for one of my clients 50% of the time and the other half of my time will be spent in my new job, no longer in the account world. i've never done this before - changed jobs in a company. i always leave and i think i know why. if i'd left, i would've given my 2 weeks notice, turned over my work and started my new job fresh. none of this long transition, my clients don't know i'm leaving stuff. weird.
funny thing is, this isn't the last time i'll be moving in coming months. so much change in my life right now. i'll be posting moving day part deux when i move out of my place. lots o' change...
funny thing is, this isn't the last time i'll be moving in coming months. so much change in my life right now. i'll be posting moving day part deux when i move out of my place. lots o' change...
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
lonely
i feel quiet today. maybe it's melancholy. i like melancholy.
i got home late last night and the questions began. when i arrived at work today they continued. everyone wants to know how things were, what i did, how i felt and it's totally fair. that's what you do when your friends come back from vacation - you ask. but i don't want to talk about it. i cried when i left last night. was really sad to be leaving for some reason. i don't usually cry when i leave anywhere. it's just that i'd had such a glorious time being among so much new and old combined. and now i'm here. a stranger among friends still bathing in the glow of being among people (my mom) who love me unconditionally.
i also used my time away to think. think about what's next and where i'm going and how i'm going to get there. i have decisions to make, i'm a little too lazy (professionals call it ambivalent) to make them. what's next?
#####
the place where i've been living since i moved to PDX sold while i was away. i knew it was coming, just didn't know when and i was banking on that time to help me figure things out about portland. no indication of when i'll need to be out could me a month, could be six but the move isn't just about moving it's about so much else.
this doesn't happen often, but i honestly don't know how to be when i'm lonely among friends...
i got home late last night and the questions began. when i arrived at work today they continued. everyone wants to know how things were, what i did, how i felt and it's totally fair. that's what you do when your friends come back from vacation - you ask. but i don't want to talk about it. i cried when i left last night. was really sad to be leaving for some reason. i don't usually cry when i leave anywhere. it's just that i'd had such a glorious time being among so much new and old combined. and now i'm here. a stranger among friends still bathing in the glow of being among people (my mom) who love me unconditionally.
i also used my time away to think. think about what's next and where i'm going and how i'm going to get there. i have decisions to make, i'm a little too lazy (professionals call it ambivalent) to make them. what's next?
#####
the place where i've been living since i moved to PDX sold while i was away. i knew it was coming, just didn't know when and i was banking on that time to help me figure things out about portland. no indication of when i'll need to be out could me a month, could be six but the move isn't just about moving it's about so much else.
this doesn't happen often, but i honestly don't know how to be when i'm lonely among friends...
Sunday, July 16, 2006
reunion ramblings
i've been out of pocket for the last few days taking a quick jaunt to CO for my high school reunion. Let me preface this by saying that I never, ever thought I would consider attending my high school reunion. I was over high school about 1.5 years before I graduated - couldn't wait to get out of there, move on to the next thing, meet the next people and leave the misery of adolesence and high school behind. So when our class president (who was a great pal in high school - in fact he had a crush on my in junior high which we reminiced about last night) called me out of the blue about a year ago to talk about reunion planning i didn't quite know what to say. i've kept in touch with one person i went to high school with and she occasionally tells me what other people we knew were up to.
in the past year, i've talked to the class pres, Chris, a number of times as he and his wife had there first baby, checking in about this and that - we talk for just a few minutes every few months. so, as the reunion got closer i figured i had absolutely nothing to lose by going to events where i knew nary a soul and just seeing what happened.
imagine my surprise at showing up at the first event friday evening, dreading what might occur and actually ENJOYING myself. connections with people who i haven't seen in 10-12 years, enjoying their company, being awed by their successes, families and achievements. a mixer led to drinks at another bar with 20 or so classmates and a night out until 4:30AM which i probably haven't done since college. reunion events have been jam packed all weekend. i've spent more time with these people in the last 3 days than i did in probably all of high school, made/refound some great new connections and friends. and this afternoon at a late brunch after last night's continued debachery i was sad to say goodbye to them.
here's to pleasant surprises and some new/reestablished friendships.
in the past year, i've talked to the class pres, Chris, a number of times as he and his wife had there first baby, checking in about this and that - we talk for just a few minutes every few months. so, as the reunion got closer i figured i had absolutely nothing to lose by going to events where i knew nary a soul and just seeing what happened.
imagine my surprise at showing up at the first event friday evening, dreading what might occur and actually ENJOYING myself. connections with people who i haven't seen in 10-12 years, enjoying their company, being awed by their successes, families and achievements. a mixer led to drinks at another bar with 20 or so classmates and a night out until 4:30AM which i probably haven't done since college. reunion events have been jam packed all weekend. i've spent more time with these people in the last 3 days than i did in probably all of high school, made/refound some great new connections and friends. and this afternoon at a late brunch after last night's continued debachery i was sad to say goodbye to them.
here's to pleasant surprises and some new/reestablished friendships.
Monday, July 10, 2006
ocean reflections
early friday evening i had my first opportunity to step away from the beach house and immerse myself in the sea air and the sounds of the ocean. i'd somehow missed the girlfriend i was walking down there to meet so grabbed a spot at the top of the dune not far from the surf's edge and managed to contemplate life. i love the ocean, it's part of the reason i moved to the west coast, and i make trips to the water's edge as often as i possibly can. on this night all alone, but surrounded by families and couples and others i was overcome with specific memories of ocean visits. the ocean has provided a back-drop for some fairly significant events in my life...i can only wait in anticipation of what's to come.
#####
it's 2001 and i'd traveled to puerto vallarata with my then live-in boyfriend and my family. i'd figured out days before the trip that he'd intended to propose to me during the trip and i'd also figured out that i didn't want to marry him. the house we stayed in was beautiful, the food divine and my attitude was horrible. i loved spending the time with my family, but i spent the entire trip making sure that there was no opportunity for the proposal to occur. in a nutshell, i was a nightmare to be around. i spent days and nights reflecting, pulling away from my relationship and determining next steps. the return to seattle a week later was the beginning of the end. the ring had indeed made the journey and thankfully never found it's way out of it's travel spot. we determined when we got back that there was nothing left, i didn't love him the way he loved me and a volatile and long-lived break-up ensued. that ocean led to sleeping in separate bedrooms, yelling matches, angry words and tears. sometimes i wonder what would've happened if i just would've made nice and said yes...
#####
two years later - 2003. after spending more than a year being with just me, i'd dated one guy fairly regularly through the winter breaking up when realizing what we had in common wasn't enough to sustain a relationship. memorial day weekend of that year i randomly met a man with whom sparks flashed the moment we met - if there's such a thing as love at first sight this is what i'd guess it's like. he didn't live where i lived and july 4 brought us together in the middle of california on a sunny ocean beach. wine, treats, shared kisses and hopes were the feelings that this ocean brought me and when that ocean-dream came crashing down i sometimes wished i'd just drifted off into the sea.
#####
2004. i'm dating someone new. as a special treat/ getaway we're heading up to the San Juan Islands to spend some time on the island where his dad lives. we spend the weekend hiking, exploring and enjoying the quiet. i discover i love this part of the country, the cold water, the beautiful trees. since then we've shared numerous holidays with friends and family looking out into this ocean. this ocean embraces me when i'm there but also reminds me that it's not truly mine. i'm just a passenger on someone else's ship here.
#####
this weekend, July 2006. i'm sitting at the ocean's edge remembering each of these scenarios. looking out towards the horizon, i see nothing but water and possibilities spread out before me. i feel small. i'm waiting for a sign to push me in one direction or another. i'm not riding on a boat but my life feels like i'm just a small wood raft drifting through life. what does this ocean hold?
turns out it held the girls weekend i needed. laughter, games, movies, beach time and fun. it was a nice diversion from all the things that are distracting me from me right now and coming to work on a monday with pink cheeks is never a bad thing.
#####
it's 2001 and i'd traveled to puerto vallarata with my then live-in boyfriend and my family. i'd figured out days before the trip that he'd intended to propose to me during the trip and i'd also figured out that i didn't want to marry him. the house we stayed in was beautiful, the food divine and my attitude was horrible. i loved spending the time with my family, but i spent the entire trip making sure that there was no opportunity for the proposal to occur. in a nutshell, i was a nightmare to be around. i spent days and nights reflecting, pulling away from my relationship and determining next steps. the return to seattle a week later was the beginning of the end. the ring had indeed made the journey and thankfully never found it's way out of it's travel spot. we determined when we got back that there was nothing left, i didn't love him the way he loved me and a volatile and long-lived break-up ensued. that ocean led to sleeping in separate bedrooms, yelling matches, angry words and tears. sometimes i wonder what would've happened if i just would've made nice and said yes...
#####
two years later - 2003. after spending more than a year being with just me, i'd dated one guy fairly regularly through the winter breaking up when realizing what we had in common wasn't enough to sustain a relationship. memorial day weekend of that year i randomly met a man with whom sparks flashed the moment we met - if there's such a thing as love at first sight this is what i'd guess it's like. he didn't live where i lived and july 4 brought us together in the middle of california on a sunny ocean beach. wine, treats, shared kisses and hopes were the feelings that this ocean brought me and when that ocean-dream came crashing down i sometimes wished i'd just drifted off into the sea.
#####
2004. i'm dating someone new. as a special treat/ getaway we're heading up to the San Juan Islands to spend some time on the island where his dad lives. we spend the weekend hiking, exploring and enjoying the quiet. i discover i love this part of the country, the cold water, the beautiful trees. since then we've shared numerous holidays with friends and family looking out into this ocean. this ocean embraces me when i'm there but also reminds me that it's not truly mine. i'm just a passenger on someone else's ship here.
#####
this weekend, July 2006. i'm sitting at the ocean's edge remembering each of these scenarios. looking out towards the horizon, i see nothing but water and possibilities spread out before me. i feel small. i'm waiting for a sign to push me in one direction or another. i'm not riding on a boat but my life feels like i'm just a small wood raft drifting through life. what does this ocean hold?
turns out it held the girls weekend i needed. laughter, games, movies, beach time and fun. it was a nice diversion from all the things that are distracting me from me right now and coming to work on a monday with pink cheeks is never a bad thing.
Friday, July 07, 2006
on the importance of girlfriends
I never understood/ can never understand the women who say that most of their friends are men. I mean, don't get me wrong, I really do enjoy men (most of the time). I've dated a lot of them, befriended quite a few of them, and spent many late nights pondering their perception of the world, reactions to difficult situations and they way they address life - all so very, very different from women. But those intrinsic differences are the primary reason why I think girlfriends are important. I love to surround myself with beautiful, strong women who can provide me perspective on everything from the latest boy drama, to my career path, to my choice of shoes for a Friday night happy hour. My guy friends are great. I like to use them to gain specific insight into anything male that I don't quite understand. My male friends ask me the questions that can occasionally push my limits and I think they use me more to quell their curiosity on all things female than I ever use them to understand my situation. But it's my female friends that are my role models, my confidantes and my soul mates. My girlfriends are the one's who tell me I'm beautiful and I believe them because I know they don't have an ulterior motive; they take me away from my life when a boy breaks my heart (escaping the country if that's what it takes); they'll go to the coffee shop with me to people watch and be just as snarky as I am; they'll listen to me ramble on and on about the same old story when I'm not yet strong enough to make a decision; and they'll bare their souls to me in the same way I bare mine both of us opening ourselves up to the vulnerability that only two women friends can share. Thank goodness for girlfriends!
This weekend is a "girls weekend". I'm headed to the Oregon coast with a dear friend of mine and some new girl friends as well. I expect time to be consumed with girl talk, girly movies, wine and beach-time.
This weekend is a "girls weekend". I'm headed to the Oregon coast with a dear friend of mine and some new girl friends as well. I expect time to be consumed with girl talk, girly movies, wine and beach-time.
Monday, July 03, 2006
i'm greek
not by lineage, but by choice. i don't usually talk about my greek affiliation to anyone who didn't know me during college. there's a reason for this pseudo secret of mine - i can see it on all of your faces when i mention that i'm a sorority girl - immediate judgement and stereotypes rush across your features like a stock market ticker. i don't need you to judge me for those choices and make assumptions about who i am or the kind of girl you think i was in college so i opt not to tell you. it's easier that way.
however, this week i'm talking about it. i just spent the last week in Phoenix, AZ enjoying the lovely Biltmore Hotel and attending my sorority's 72nd Convention. 600+ women attended this event and i came away from it feeling inspired. inspiration is something that i've been missing in my life and i'm glad to have it back. not only was i able to connect with friends and "sisters" old and new, but i was reminded of the bigger purpose of these types of women's organizations. with all of the negative hype about fraternities and sororities these days, it was refreshing to see the positive side of all of this. last week i was introduced to women who have done amazing things - become the first president of a top-ranked university, pushed to have babies hearing tested and ultimately changed the future for many children, gone on to become well-known sports anchors, etc. these are women i'm proud to call my sisters. women who are open about being greek and openly praise their sorority involovement for providing them with the leadership skills and opportunities to pursue these careers and opportunities. i know a lot of things have contributed to my success thus far in life - my upbringing, my education, etc. but today, just for today, let's thank the fact that i'm greek for helping me to get here.
#####
we'll be back to our regularly scheduled programming after the July 4th holiday. in the meantime enjoy a day celebrating independence - eat a hot dog, drink a beer and get some sun.
however, this week i'm talking about it. i just spent the last week in Phoenix, AZ enjoying the lovely Biltmore Hotel and attending my sorority's 72nd Convention. 600+ women attended this event and i came away from it feeling inspired. inspiration is something that i've been missing in my life and i'm glad to have it back. not only was i able to connect with friends and "sisters" old and new, but i was reminded of the bigger purpose of these types of women's organizations. with all of the negative hype about fraternities and sororities these days, it was refreshing to see the positive side of all of this. last week i was introduced to women who have done amazing things - become the first president of a top-ranked university, pushed to have babies hearing tested and ultimately changed the future for many children, gone on to become well-known sports anchors, etc. these are women i'm proud to call my sisters. women who are open about being greek and openly praise their sorority involovement for providing them with the leadership skills and opportunities to pursue these careers and opportunities. i know a lot of things have contributed to my success thus far in life - my upbringing, my education, etc. but today, just for today, let's thank the fact that i'm greek for helping me to get here.
#####
we'll be back to our regularly scheduled programming after the July 4th holiday. in the meantime enjoy a day celebrating independence - eat a hot dog, drink a beer and get some sun.
Monday, June 26, 2006
human fry pan
I've had great intentions of posting here over the last week. Really. I have. I even have a post all worked out in my head - all that remains is relocating a photo and sitting down to write. But then yesterday happened. 102 degrees in Portland and no one here has AC. It's supposed to be even hotter today. Again, no AC. Typing a lengthy blog post is out of the question when I need to take a cold shower just so that I can climb into bed. I haven't been sleeping because it's too hot to sleep. It's too hot to do anything other than flop around moving from place to place tricking your mind into thinking one room of the house is cooler than the other. My cats are cranky, I'm cranky, it's hot.
Yesterday's only reprieve? A matinee movie and a beer and salad on a backyard patio with Rosie. It's hot!
Tomorrow I'm headed to Phoenix for the remainder of the week. My saving grace? At least they believe in AC in AZ.
Yesterday's only reprieve? A matinee movie and a beer and salad on a backyard patio with Rosie. It's hot!
Tomorrow I'm headed to Phoenix for the remainder of the week. My saving grace? At least they believe in AC in AZ.
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
angels and late nights
If angels really do have voices, I'm pretty sure they'd sound like Barbara Trentalange's. I believe I mentioned I'd met her several weeks ago and last night I had the opportunity to hear her sing with Eric Bachmann as they were opening for Calexico last night in Portland. As predicted, it was a fantastic time - between Eric, Barbara and Calexico it was totally worth the fact that I didn't get into bed until well past midnight last night and struggled to get up this morning for work. They're in Vancouver BC tonight and Seattle tomorrow - see them if you can.
#####
Not to turn this into a cat post, but I think most of you know by now that I have two little punks who share my abode. Daphne loves tulips and can't keep her face away from them when they are in the house, check her out:
#####
Not to turn this into a cat post, but I think most of you know by now that I have two little punks who share my abode. Daphne loves tulips and can't keep her face away from them when they are in the house, check her out:
Friday, June 16, 2006
Heros
After my post the other day, my dear friend, TX Mama, sent me the most beautiful email about her hero, her beautiful baby girl. She talked a lot about what her daughter teaches her everyday (both good and bad) and how she admired, more than anything, the fact that her daughter is completely real and fearless - a great reminder for all of us on the best approach to life. (note to self: work on being real and fearless that's a daunting task if I ever heard one).
All this talk got me thinking about my heros and where they fit into my life. I think a hero manifests itself in so many forms and I have both literal, real-life heros and figurative heros. So today, I thought I share a few of my heros.
1. My mom. For giving all that she can and could give regardless of what she had to give up for herself.
2. TX Mama. For fearlessly giving herself to her family taking both the good and bad; making a cross county move in support of her husband and their well-being as a couple and continuing to be a support to me no matter what kind of sh*t I bring to the table.
3. All three of the Charlie's Angels. Any girls that can kick that much a$$ deserve the Megan stamp of hero approval.
Let's just start with those three for today.
####
Side note: I had a random weekend. Got some me time,went to a baseball game, was approached by two 15-year-old ish boys (complete with crazy bling teef) asking me to support their basketball league - my first thought? With teef like that you don't need my money. To my "no thanks" one of them responded "God bless you" then immediately did a double take and said "God already blessed you". Man those 15-year-olds...
A got a pedi this weekend, have a peek
All this talk got me thinking about my heros and where they fit into my life. I think a hero manifests itself in so many forms and I have both literal, real-life heros and figurative heros. So today, I thought I share a few of my heros.
1. My mom. For giving all that she can and could give regardless of what she had to give up for herself.
2. TX Mama. For fearlessly giving herself to her family taking both the good and bad; making a cross county move in support of her husband and their well-being as a couple and continuing to be a support to me no matter what kind of sh*t I bring to the table.
3. All three of the Charlie's Angels. Any girls that can kick that much a$$ deserve the Megan stamp of hero approval.
Let's just start with those three for today.
####
Side note: I had a random weekend. Got some me time,went to a baseball game, was approached by two 15-year-old ish boys (complete with crazy bling teef) asking me to support their basketball league - my first thought? With teef like that you don't need my money. To my "no thanks" one of them responded "God bless you" then immediately did a double take and said "God already blessed you". Man those 15-year-olds...
A got a pedi this weekend, have a peek
Thursday, June 15, 2006
living out loud
so the whole idea of this blog thing, at least for me anyway, is to live out loud; to put my life and my thoughts on paper; to give some of you an insight into the "real" me or something like that; and to give myself a place to vent when there are no open ears left.
last night, I was discussing the concept of living out loud with Rosie and the conclusion was that although living out loud is a great concept in theory, there are a lot of parameters and an inkling of self-preservation required to make this work. I work really hard to protect the innocent as much as possible, or when required, in this space. Going forward I'll likely give people code names where appropriate but the question of how much to reveal on this site still remains unanswered. If I truly live out loud, then this becomes somewhat of an online diary, a place to share all my inner thoughts, deepest secrets, misdoings, etc. and while this will likely never become that open of a forum (c'mon you guys don't need to know everything) I'm struggling with the cut-off point.
So here's my issue. You all know I'm a story teller by nature, giving you every detail of every story for added flavor and humor. Do you think that's possible to live that way, to share that way and still protect the innocent and myself? Obviously you'll figure out some of the characters in this story and some of you know the stories in real-time so the element of suspense is not necessary, but if I'm going to truly live out loud someone's bound to get hurt. Can you live with that? Can I live with that?
I think it's time to create the site disclaimer....anyone in the legal field? :)
last night, I was discussing the concept of living out loud with Rosie and the conclusion was that although living out loud is a great concept in theory, there are a lot of parameters and an inkling of self-preservation required to make this work. I work really hard to protect the innocent as much as possible, or when required, in this space. Going forward I'll likely give people code names where appropriate but the question of how much to reveal on this site still remains unanswered. If I truly live out loud, then this becomes somewhat of an online diary, a place to share all my inner thoughts, deepest secrets, misdoings, etc. and while this will likely never become that open of a forum (c'mon you guys don't need to know everything) I'm struggling with the cut-off point.
So here's my issue. You all know I'm a story teller by nature, giving you every detail of every story for added flavor and humor. Do you think that's possible to live that way, to share that way and still protect the innocent and myself? Obviously you'll figure out some of the characters in this story and some of you know the stories in real-time so the element of suspense is not necessary, but if I'm going to truly live out loud someone's bound to get hurt. Can you live with that? Can I live with that?
I think it's time to create the site disclaimer....anyone in the legal field? :)
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
end of fiscal year blues
A lot of people I work with are singing the blues this week, it's a tough time of year. The end of the fiscal year in the agency world means that funds and job duties are uncertain and that makes people uneasy. Everyone attempts to put on a happy face and power through, but we're out of money, out of energy and a little short on the inspiration.
I'm feeling the pain a bit myself, but on the up side I've been checking into some opportunities and continue to think what will be will be. I can certainly TPC about it all day long, but other than that I don't spend too much time worrying about it.
#####
On the flip side, I had the opportunity to spend some time with Ava (the four week old baby girl of some Seattle friends) and her parents on Sunday. A month into her life and she's a beauty. It's things like her that remind me that this is only a job...
I'm feeling the pain a bit myself, but on the up side I've been checking into some opportunities and continue to think what will be will be. I can certainly TPC about it all day long, but other than that I don't spend too much time worrying about it.
#####
On the flip side, I had the opportunity to spend some time with Ava (the four week old baby girl of some Seattle friends) and her parents on Sunday. A month into her life and she's a beauty. It's things like her that remind me that this is only a job...
Saturday, June 10, 2006
technoworld
Over the course of the last couple days, I've been reminded again and again about the power of the internet as not only a way to connect people, but also as a way to make money. The internet has provided us with an opportunity to dream it and truly achieve it. It's not the "American Dream" anymore, it's the "Internet Dream" it still requires you to have some money or roots - you've got to have the infrastructure to achieve it, but if you've got that you're in. Take this blog for instance, a dreamed up way to get my thoughts and feelings out there - maybe you're reading it maybe you're not. Maybe you found this because I sent it to you, but maybe you found it through someone else, but for no fee I'm telling my story to anyone who will listen. It's a technoworld and I'm not talking music.
#####
Speaking of being connected, it's Saturday morning and I'm sitting in the living room of my most delightful Seattle hosts. We're sitting in the round all three of us with laptops open all looking at the same site on our own - it's amazing really. We're having a conversation in real-time, but each in our own worlds just the same. (Hi R & P if you're reading - yes, this happened while you were checking out online TV)Technology both connects and isolates...
This is what you get on a gloomy Seattle Saturday when I have a wee bit of a hangover.
#####
Speaking of being connected, it's Saturday morning and I'm sitting in the living room of my most delightful Seattle hosts. We're sitting in the round all three of us with laptops open all looking at the same site on our own - it's amazing really. We're having a conversation in real-time, but each in our own worlds just the same. (Hi R & P if you're reading - yes, this happened while you were checking out online TV)Technology both connects and isolates...
This is what you get on a gloomy Seattle Saturday when I have a wee bit of a hangover.
Friday, June 09, 2006
I'm not missing, I just play the part
First off, let me apologize for not posting in a while - work has been slammed and I've been traveling most of this week. In and out of different offices and hotels with scattered internet access and busy evenings makes it difficult. However, you can rest assured that my work busy-ness has allowed me to throw around the corporate jargon like it's going out of style. My clients are getting ready to start their new fiscal year so budgets and the like have been the topic of the week. These conversations have allowed me to throw out every buzz word I know - trusted advisor, trending, cycles, etc. It's too much...At any rate, I'm staying in Seattle through Monday catching up with some friends and spending some time with my city.
####
Speaking of my corporate kool-aid, days of meetings and client speak has caused some of the jargon to seep into my everyday life. Last night I was having dinner with the glamourous photographer friend, Renata, and over sushi and sake I was sharing some details of the goings on in my life right now. I'm sharing some issues and say to her "I started noticing that I was trending towards a certain behavior." Renata took one random look at me and promptly said, "So you mean you have a pattern?" WTF!? The kool-aid's being drunk via osmosis!
####
For your Friday, thought I'd share a couple pics from the recent Sasquatch Festival - see post from a couple weeks ago.
Our mini tent city
The gang drinking some beers
Philipp and me pitching my tent
####
Speaking of my corporate kool-aid, days of meetings and client speak has caused some of the jargon to seep into my everyday life. Last night I was having dinner with the glamourous photographer friend, Renata, and over sushi and sake I was sharing some details of the goings on in my life right now. I'm sharing some issues and say to her "I started noticing that I was trending towards a certain behavior." Renata took one random look at me and promptly said, "So you mean you have a pattern?" WTF!? The kool-aid's being drunk via osmosis!
####
For your Friday, thought I'd share a couple pics from the recent Sasquatch Festival - see post from a couple weeks ago.
Our mini tent city
The gang drinking some beers
Philipp and me pitching my tent
Sunday, June 04, 2006
oh dear...
well this explains a lot. I just took this random quiz that another fellow blogger posted and check out the results:
The quiz: What are the Keys to Your Heart?
The quiz: What are the Keys to Your Heart?
The Keys to Your Heart |
 You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you. You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is low. Even if you're tempted, you'd try hard not to do it. You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage. In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered. |
Thursday, June 01, 2006
train wreck?
My heart's beating about a mile a minute, I can't sleep at night sometimes because of excitement sometimes because I'm filled with dread. So many things going on, none requiring decisions yet but many will require deicisions soon. random job interviews perhaps turning into job offers? (a nice problem to have, a friend said). Agreed, but change is scary especially when there's the potential for so much. A fellow blogger recently blogged about always looking for what's next - that's how I live my life, always looking to the next thing, never really satisfied with where I am now. Sometimes I'm looking forward, sometimes I'm looking back but always looking to something else. I have ideas in my head, dreams I need to discover and people I need to find. To do or not to do...that is the question. Stay where I am or forge into something new? Press send and open a can of worms that I maybe don't want to be open or always wonder?
My stomach. In knots. Confused. Wondering. Knowing. Train Wreck.
My stomach. In knots. Confused. Wondering. Knowing. Train Wreck.
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
music makes the world go 'round
I spent the weekend in the company of friends, both old and new, and the beauty of song in some way, shape or form. It was the annual Sasquatch Festival in Eastern Washington. I've been going to this event every year since I moved to the west coast to get my fill of music, both well-known and up-and-coming. 6AM Saturday morning and I'm driving down highway 84 in Oregon, rocking out to my music and seeing beautiful country that I've never laid eyes on. I managed to meet up with all of my Seattle-based friends at a rest stop off I-90 outside of Ellensburg, WA. Four cars wagon trained their way deep into a wildlife preserve and we had the fortune to camp at the same spot we'd inhabited two years prior - a grouping of our tents up on a ridge overlooking Quincy Lake. What a glorious way to wake up each day! The weekend's big kicker came in the form of grape-sized hail pelting us for 30-45 minutes on Saturday afternoon. We're dedicated and committed fans, so we just sat there and took it waiting for the shows to continue. Other than that, it was a beautiful time filled with beautiful people - makes you glad to be alive.
I met yet another new friend, a musician and a good one at that. She's set to play in Portland in a few weeks and once I've seen her live, I'll introduce you to her sounds. If her music is anything like her personality, you'll find she touches you deep down, understands you even though she doesn't know you and remains sultry and sexy while performing on stage. Try it Mikey, you'll like it.
I met yet another new friend, a musician and a good one at that. She's set to play in Portland in a few weeks and once I've seen her live, I'll introduce you to her sounds. If her music is anything like her personality, you'll find she touches you deep down, understands you even though she doesn't know you and remains sultry and sexy while performing on stage. Try it Mikey, you'll like it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)